White Horse - Rides Again
by klswhite
Summary: Laura Hobson married her Prince Charming only discover he was neither Prince nor Charming. Years later her real Prince Charming, Robbie Lewis, swept her off her feet and they lived happily ever after. Until her ex husband in the form of none other than Malcolm Tucker returned to the enchanted kingdom. I own none of these characters, I just like to play with them.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**This is the continuation of the brilliant Muffinzelda's story White Horse. If you haven't read those two chapters I strongly recommend that you go do that...go on, I'll wait.**

**Good to have you back. I'm sure, like me, you are all a flutter at the idea that Malcolm Tucker is Laura Hobson's ex. The possibilities for fun are absolutely endless. I was immediately intrigued by the idea of playing with Mr. Tucker and seeing how he would interact with our foursome. Apparently Muffinzelda felt the same because she graciously gifted me this story (she claims she was inspired by conversation on Tumblr so it is a multi-pronged (faceted (can you do parentheses inside parentheses inside parentheses?))) effort. She claims not to have a mastery of Malcolm's vocabulary. So...I pick up the mantle, proudly, and hope to do Robson, Malcolm Tucker and the incomparable Muffinzelda proud. Once more unto the breach...**

* * *

Robbie and Laura stayed with Lyn and her family for a week. On the last night Robbie found her sitting in Lyn's small garden. He sat beside her on the bench, wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, "What's wrong pet?"

She snuggled into his side and placed her hand on his chest, "I'm fine Robbie."

Kissing the top of her head, he wrapped his other arm around her, "I know better Laura. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't want this to touch us Robbie."

He laughed, "Laura, it hasn't even made the paper in two days. That journalist was just working an angle. She thought she could drum up a story by interviewing you." Laura was silent, Robbie lifted her chin and kissed her lightly, "This is not going to touch us. I've had James watching. She hasn't been back to the station or the house in days. We can go home and get back to normal."

Laura tried to relax, she tried to tell herself Robbie was right. She smiled and kissed him, "I'm sure you're right."

Robbie frowned. He knew she was still concerned and he wasn't sure what to do to reassure her, "Laura, there is absolutely nothing that Malc…"

She pressed her hand to his mouth stopping him, "Don't say his name Robbie. You can call him whatever you want, but don't say his name."

His laughter made her nervous, "His name holds no power."

She stood, shaking her head and walked away from him. She wrapped her arms around herself as if to ward off a chill, "Robbie, you don't know him. I've spent years putting him behind me."

He watched her stand there, huddled in on herself. If possible, she looked smaller than normal, "He can't be that bad, you did love him enough once to marry him."

She closed her eyes thinking back to those halcyon days when a young Malcolm Tucker had swept her off her feet. He'd been everything she'd ever wanted in a partner. Of course she'd seen glimpses of his cruelty and ruthlessness before they married but like too many women, she'd been certain he would change. Marriage and maybe children would mellow him. He would find what he was missing in her. That's what she'd hoped.

Laura shook her head trying to push the memories away. She'd spent so many years putting him firmly in the past. She knew Robbie was right, he held no power here. But a small part of her was scared. It was easy not to be scared of Malcolm Tucker if you'd never met him. If you'd never witnessed the awesome fury he could unleash, you couldn't fathom the sheer horror and elegant beauty that was Malcolm Tucker.

Robbie had offered her a clean slate. One she had happily grabbed. As a young girl she had dreamed of someone like Malcolm Tucker sweeping her off her feet. That dream had turned into a nightmare very quickly. That nightmare had led her back to Oxford to an all new dream. Robbie Lewis was the light to Malcolm Tucker's darkness. His quiet, unassuming manner had helped her to trust herself again. Trust that she could love unreservedly and be loved in the same manner.

Robbie watched her and knew that she was struggling. He'd never pushed her to tell him more about her marriage and suddenly he felt he might have made a mistake. Without knowledge, how could he help her? Before he even thought about it he was up and across the garden. He turned her to him and kissed her. Overwhelming relief swept through his body as her arms wrapped around him.

Laura was stunned by Robbie, by this kiss. Robbie was a passionate man but kisses like this didn't generally occur where people might see them. She wrapped her arms around him ready to let him kiss her worries away. She loved him, he loved her; it was all that mattered.

They kissed for a long time, lost in each other, actively pushing all of their concerns away. A clearing throat behind them brought them back to the here and now, "I hate to interrupt but your grandson would like you to put him to bed."

Laura and Robbie laughed as they turned to Lyn. Robbie smiled, "Pet, I'll be right there."

Lyn looked at her father somewhat embarrassed, "Actually dad, he wants his nana Laura, not you."

Laura buried her face in Robbie's chest trying to stifle the laughter. Lyn put her hand over her face to hide her smile. Robbie looked back and forth between them and smiled, "The joke's on you two. I rather like that my grandson is a ladies man, just like me." Both ladies exploded with laughter.

Laura rolled her eyes at Robbie, "Lyn I'll be there in just a minute." Lyn nodded at her and turned back into the house

Robbie smiled down and pulled her to him, "Laura, you're part of the family now. Even the lad knows it, Nana Laura." Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, "I don't pretend to know what happened in the past but I know what is happening now. I love you, Lyn and the kids love you. Don't let him have any power over us."

Laura looked into his eyes and saw the truth of his words. He was right, the past was the past. Malcolm Tucker was no longer her dream or her nightmare. She had a new dream and it was made of this lovely man and his beautiful family. She shook her head, correcting her thinking, their beautiful family. She pushed up, wrapping her arms around his and kissed him lightly. A playful smile crossed her lips, "Care to help me put our grandson to bed?"

Robbie pulled her closer to him, "Only if you let me do the same for you later tonight?"

* * *

Malcolm Tucker stood at the window admiring the view from the lavish hotel suite the studio had rented for him. The television show was one of many lucrative offers that awaited him upon his release from prison. He had his pick of things to do, each potentially more profitable than the next.

For most people being sentenced to prison would have been frightening, mortifying, breaking. But Malcolm Tucker wasn't most people. Malcolm did those things to others he did not have them done to him.

With one, long pull from his glass he drained it of the amber liquid. A few fluid strides and he was at the desk pouring another glass. His eye was drawn to the stack of offers haphazardly piled on the desk. One specifically caught his attention. He pulled it from the pile and quickly read through it as he drank more Scotch.

The TV guys had told him they didn't mind if he took up several of the vast array of opportunities. They wanted him as exposed as possible. Make all of those mindless twats that watch the type of drivel they wanted to produce more apt to turn on the telly and tune into him. He dropped the piece of paper on the desk, this offer probably wasn't exactly what they had in mind, too staid, too conservative. But he wouldn't have passed up this opportunity even if that fucking lout of a PM had called him to run the world.

He ran his hands over the logo at the top of the page, LMH. It was like a beacon, a siren's song, beckoning to him. He abandoned the glass on the desk and headed towards the bathroom stripping clothes as he went. Malcolm was a man accustomed to frightening, mortifying and breaking those around him. It had been his calling card for decades. There was only one person he had never managed to do that to, in fact, that one person had done it to him. Now it was time to find out how. Now it was time to return the favor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Sorry for the delay in this. I took on a new project at work and it is eating up a lot of my time. Plus this chapter didn't want to behave. A little bit of fluff before a lot of angst.**

Laura and Robbie returned to Oxford the next morning. There was a note from James on the counter waiting for them.

_Robbie & Laura,_

_Monty was well behaved if somewhat greedy for treats. Don't let him fool you, he had plenty of treats and attention. As to the other attention seeker, she hasn't been seen in days. I took the liberty of abusing police power and confirmed that she checked out of her hotel on Thursday. I would say that she has lost the scent of a story and headed back to London._

_Your faithful house and cat sitter,_

_James_

Laura had to laugh at the note. Leave it to James to go so far as to confirm the reporter had checked out of her hotel. She had to admit, if only to herself, that she felt better knowing that James had gone the extra step. It was one of those details that was quintessentially James. It was what made him both a good detective and a good friend.

As Robbie was bringing in the last of their things she smiled at him and held up the note, "I think we owe James a special treat."

Robbie took a quick look at the note and laughed, "That's barely worth a pint. It did him some good to do something for someone else. Besides, being here with Monty is probably more company than he's had in months."

Laura rolled her eyes at him, "Robbie, we will do something nice for him. Perhaps we could invite him for dinner."

Robbie dropped the bags to the floor and pulled her to him, "And exactly who will be cooking this thank you dinner?"

Laura wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him closer, "Well he is your friend."

"That might be true but it was your favor."

Pushing up she kissed him lightly, "There might be a special thank you in it for you"

Robbie groaned knowing he'd lost the battle, "I think I'm going to need a down payment on that special thank you Dr. Hobson."

Laura smiled as she pulled him down for a deeper kiss. Right before their lips met Laura's mobile rang, "Rain check?"

Robbie laughed as he kissed her on the forehead, "I'm going to collect on that Laura Hobson."

As she answered she smiled at him, "I look forward to it."

He picked up the bags and headed up the stairs. He cast one last glance at her over his shoulder at her. He'd been worried about her throughout the week. Even last night he could see the tension as she thought about her ex-husband. Getting back to work and a regular schedule would do her good. It would give her something to occupy her mind. He could see the muscles in her shoulder relax as she wrote down the details of her call. Smiling he made his way up the stairs.

Laura finished the call then looked around for Robbie. The missing bags told her where he was. She grabbed her keys then called up the stairs, "Robbie, they're short-staffed at the office. I have to go in. Since I'm going in I plan on catching up on some paperwork. I'll pick up some takeaway on my way home."

He appeared at the top of the stairs, "Alright love. Don't work too late, I plan on collecting on your rain check tonight."

She laughed, "Sounds like a plan. Text me later what you want to eat. I love you."

Robbie blew her a kiss, "I love you too. Be careful."

* * *

Laura drove quickly to the scene. She could feel the tension she hadn't realized she was carrying in her shoulders release the closer she got to the scene. Robbie had been right to take her away but she needed something to keep herself busy. Routine would be the best thing to put all of this behind her.

She worked the scene quickly and efficiently. She was friendly with other Inspectors but never as much as she had been with Robbie. The only cases she might linger over these days were those James ran. It didn't mean she wasn't as thorough and diligent as ever it just meant she had a reason to get home now.

Getting into her car she briefly contemplated just going home. She could spend a quiet afternoon and evening alone with Robbie. However her sense of duty kicked in and she headed to the office. She could spend the afternoon catching up and make it easier later in the week.

* * *

Once in the office Laura was waylaid by colleagues requiring assistance with cases that had come in her absence. She worked through them efficiently and courteously. A few cases made good teaching moments so she called several of the other doctors and attendants in to observe. By the end of the day she was both exhausted and exhilarated. It was good to be back at work.

Carrying an armful of files she planned on taking home to review, she rounded the corner toward her office. She smiled as Anne-Marie walked up the hallway, "Dr. Hobson, there's a man waiting in your office."

"Do you know who it is Anne-Marie?"

Anne-Marie shook her head, "I don't know. He looks familiar. I think he might be involved with one of your cases."

Laura nodded hiding her annoyance. She wasn't annoyed by the idea of someone from one of her cases stopping by, she was annoyed that someone had let him into her office, "Thanks Anne-Marie, I'll take care of it."

"Just so you know Dr. Hobson, I didn't let him into your office. I just saw him in there and thought someone should warn you. If you want I could grab your things and you could sneak out."

"No, it's best to take care of it now. It's probably something simple. Thanks for the offer, I appreciate it."

Anne-Marie nodded, "Anytime Dr. Hobson, I'm headed home but if you want I can stay until he leaves."

"Don't worry. I plan on wrapping this up quickly and heading home myself. I'll see you tomorrow." Laura waved before turning towards her office.

Laura had her head down organizing the files in her arms when she entered her office, "Hello Laura."

She froze in the doorway. Her eyes closed for a moment as she took a deep breath, "I knew it."

Malcolm Tucker sat on the edge of her desk, "What did you know Laura?"

"I knew you would show up here. You're like some fictional villain in a bad horror movie. Think about you too much and here you are."

"And have you been thinking about me Laura?"

She rolled her eyes then pushed past him, dropping the files on her desk, "Only because that tabloid journalist showed up on my doorstep. Prior to that I can't tell you the last time I thought of you Malcolm." She sat lightly in her chair feigning a nonchalance that she didn't feel.

He turned to look at her over his shoulder, "You look good kitten."

"Don't call me that Malcolm. I didn't like it twenty years ago and I don't like it now."

He stood and turned towards her, leaning into her desk, "That's not the way I recall it. As I recall it, you liked when I called you kitten. Or maybe it was why I gave you that particular nickname you liked?"

Laura looked up at him, fighting the blush as she remembered exactly why he'd given her the nickname. She blinked once, "Why are you here Malcolm?"

He straightened and wandered her office looking at the mementos placed carefully around the space, "I'm in town for a few weeks lecturing at Lady Margaret Hall."

A bitter laugh escaped before she could stop it, "Oxford teaches a class on how to be a sociopathic shit heel now?"

Malcolm smiled triumphantly, "Nice alliteration Laura, I see you haven't forgotten the value of alliterative swearing."

"Believe it or not Malcolm I don't generally swear. It must be something about you brings it out."

He turned to her, stalking back to her desk. Leaning into her his malicious smile sent a thrill through her, "I always did bring out the best in you kitten."

Laura stood not wanting to be trapped behind her desk, "Only in your world is swearing a good thing. For the rest of us it's considered rude and unprofessional. What do you want Malcolm?"

"Can't a fellow just want to look up an old friend?"

"We were never friends Malcolm."

A predatory grin crossed his face, "That's right kitten, we were ever so much more than friends."

She took a deep breath to steady herself, "Were being the operative word. Now either tell me why you are here or get out."

"That's not a very nice way to treat your long, lost ex-husband." He walked closer to her stepping between her and her desk to look at a photo that had caught his eye.

Laura bolted away from him needing to escape his proximity, "The fact that you are my ex-husband would imply that I don't want to treat you at all."

Malcolm picked up the frame looking at the photo. It was Laura and Robbie with their grandchildren, "You have kids Laura?"

She panicked, Malcolm in her office was bad enough; Malcolm touching her family was something entirely different. She turned to him and snatched the frame from his hand, "Yes, I do."

For one moment there was a look of something that could almost be called tenderness on his face. Then he covered it with something closer to scorn, "We both know that's not true kitten."

Hurt flashed across her face then scathing anger, "Yes, WE do, Malcolm."

Malcolm took a small step backwards, he wasn't prepared for Laura's anger. He'd wanted to unsettle her today not anger her. Although he had to admit she was never sexier than when she was fully angry with him, gods she was beautiful. He shook that thought from his head and changed tactics. Pointing at the frame she was clutching to her chest, he softened his voice, "He's quite a bit older than you. You always did like older men."

Confused by the change in Malcolm she shook her head, "What?"

"I'm older than you, clearly there's a pattern."

"19 days Malcolm, you are 19 days older than me."

He waved his hand as if that was an eternity, "It's the entire lifespan of a wasp."

She rolled her eyes but managed to catch the laugh that almost bubbled out. She'd forgotten how unexpectedly funny he could be, "Then you should be long dead."

His laughter was the last thing she expected. It was probably why she didn't realize how suddenly close he was to her until she heard his melodic voice, practically whispering in her ear, "You always did give as good as you got. It's one of the many things I love about you."

Laura stood her ground, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much his being this close disturbed her, "You never loved me Malcolm."

A single deep breath and her smell enveloped him. All of those heady memories came flooding back. He'd forgotten how much she distracted him. Before he could stop himself he tenderly stroked her cheek, "That's not true Laura and you know it."

At his touch Laura looked up at him. The tenderness reflected on his face made all of the years melt away. In that instant she remembered every single reason she had fallen helplessly and hopelessly in love with Malcolm Tucker. She couldn't offer a single second of resistance as his head lowered to hers.

"Laura, why are you in the office today?" Laura and Malcolm stepped away from each other at the sound of Jean Innocent's voice. Laura turned to smile at Jean as Malcolm turned away. "Am I interrupting something?"

Laura shook her head wanting the moment to end, "No, Jean, your timing is absolutely perfect."

Jean's face was a mask. She didn't know what she had interrupted but it certainly wasn't nothing. She raised an eyebrow at Laura, "Who's your friend?"

Laura stared at Jean begging her silently to understand and not ask questions, "He's not a friend."

Malcolm laughed and answered, "Not her friend, I'm her ex-husband." He turned to introduce himself, "Malc… What the fuck are you doing here?"

Laura almost cried with relief. She could always count on Malcolm to take a tense situation and make it ten times worse. Hopefully his reaction to Jean would make her forget about what she'd seen when she walked into Laura's office. One glance at Jean and she knew if nothing else, this would be fun to watch.

There was a look of rapturous joy on Jean Innocent's face as she took a single step towards Malcolm. As he took an answering step away from her she was positively giddy, "Hello Mr. Tucker, my name is Chief Superintendent Jean Innocent." She held out her hand waiting gleefully for him to take it.

Laura looked back and forth between them not knowing what was going on. If she didn't know better she would think Malcolm was almost scared, "Do you two know each other?"

Jean smiled, keeping her eyes on Malcolm, daring him to say something, "We've never met but we do have someone very close in common, don't we, Mr. Tucker."

Laura shook her head, "Who, how?"

Jean smiled back at Malcolm, "Would you like to tell her Mr. Tucker or shall I?"

Malcolm was staring at Jean. It was like seeing a ghost. He shook his head refusing to give this creature any control over him, "I'll give you the pleasure although if you are as much of a fuck up as your doppelganger I'll probably have to step in."

Jean shot him one scathing look that caused him to take yet another step back before she smiled at Laura, "My twin sister had the unfortunate experience of working with Mr. Tucker several years ago."

Laura looked at Jean skeptically, "Do you know everyone your sister worked with?"

Jean shook her head, "Only the ones she helped send to prison."

Malcolm exploded at the remark, regaining some sense of himself, "As if! Your useless twat of a sister couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. She was a meaningless witness who confused the panel. I wish they had let her talk more she might have managed to confuse them enough to let me walk scot-free."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself Mr. Tucker. But your reaction to seeing me would suggest that you feel otherwise. And unlike my sister, your bluster doesn't scare me in the slightest. As a matter of fact, I find it quite amusing."

Her complete dismissal roused him from his earlier confusion. He took a step toward her pulling himself to his full height, "Don't be so sure of that Chief Super. I'm a scary man and you would do well to remember that."

Jean closed the distance between them and fixed him with a steely glare, "There is absolutely nothing scary about you. You have no power here or anywhere else Mr. Tucker. So why don't you climb back under whatever rock you crawled out from? No one here, or anywhere else, for that matter, wants anything to do with you."

Malcolm hid behind a smile hoping to hide the frisson of desire that ran through him, "You know if your sister had been half as feisty as you are I might have given her a tumble. As it was I just turned her down and left her in a pathetic drunken heap."

"Shame that, I hear she's quite the tiger in the sack." Jean looked him up and down, "Although seeing you I can't imagine what she would have found attractive in a scrawny little git like you."

Laura's laughter drew their attention. They both turned to her, she was biting her lip trying to prevent more laughter. Malcolm, always able to read a room, knew that he had lost his tactical advantage. He stepped around Jean towards Laura. With a tender look he touched her arm, the heat between them flared again, "I'll see you around Laura."

Jean cleared her throat, "I don't think that's a good idea Mr. Tucker."

Keeping his eyes fixed on Laura Malcolm growled at Jean, "I don't care what you think Ms. Innocent." He leaned forward. Laura closed her eyes waiting on the kiss that never came. She felt his thumb on her lips then a light brushing of his lips on her forehead. In that instant she was lost to memories, they played through her mind and overwhelmed her

When she opened her eyes he was gone. She looked forlornly at the door gasping for air. For the second time Jean's voice brought her back to reality, "What the hell just happened?"

**Don't kill me. First loves are a bitch to get over and I would wager that we never really do. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Thankfully only one of you (ok maybe 2 of you) actually know where I live. Don't hate me too much. ON a plus side have I mentioned how much I love writing Jean. She's is so fun to play with.**

Laura looked at the door unsure of what to do. How had he done this to her? How had he walked into her calm, reasoned life and in the space of five minutes left her panting with need? Damn him, he'd already ruined her life once and almost a second time, she refused to let him do this to her again.

Laura was about to chase after him, to rail against him. To tell him, no to beg him, to let her go. She would give him anything he wanted if he would just walk away. Her hands tightened on the frame she had taken from him. She looked at the photo using it to anchor her. Her eyes fixed on Robbie and tears formed, unbidden, as she thought of everything she could lose.

Jean watched Laura, fascinated. There seemed to be some internal war brewing. When she saw Laura take a tentative step toward the door she decided to intervene, ""What the hell just happened?"

Laura started, remembering that Jean was in the room. She turned to her with a mix of emotion crossing her face: relief, embarrassment, anger, annoyance. She tried to figure out a way to explain what had happened but found that no words would come. The tears in her eyes finally fell burning a path down her cheeks as she sank to the floor, suddenly she didn't have the strength to continue standing.

Jean watched Laura drop to the floor and knew from the controlled nature of the drop that she hadn't fainted it. It was as though she was simply too tired to go on. Jean stepped across Laura's office and closed the door. The anger she had felt seeing Laura about to kiss Malcolm Tucker earlier had long since dissipated. It was replaced by concern for her friend.

She turned back to Laura and lowered herself to the floor. Softly she touched Laura's hand gripping the frame, "Laura, do you want to talk or cry?"

Laughter was the last thing she expected. Jean recognized the brittleness of it instantly. Laura was on the edge, the tears weren't sadness they were simply a release. Jean understood this type of emotion it was something she felt all too frequently these days. She shifted closer to Laura and tenderly wrapped her arm around her pulling her closer.

Laura resisted for a brief moment before relaxing into the comfort of Jean's body. She let Jean's warmth provide her with the calm, safety she needed. She sighed as Jean's other hand stroked her head. Her tears flowed silently. Had Jean asked Laura wouldn't have been able to say why, specifically, she was crying. The truth was so much more complicated but if she had to distill it the answer was loss. Malcolm Tucker had stepped into her life and reminded her of everything she had lost in her life.

Jean sensed when a new resolve seem to enter Laura's body. There was a shifting in her that was both physical and mental. What Jean wasn't sure of is if it was good or bad. She brushed hair from Laura's face and placed a tender kiss on her head, "Can we talk now?"

Laura took a deep breath and sat up. She kept the frame gripped tightly in one hand and took Jean's hand with her other, "I don't know where to start."

Jean smiled kindly at her and squeezed her hand, "Normally I would say start at the beginning but I don't sense you are ready to talk about that just yet. So why not start with where I came in?"

"Can I ask you a question first?" Jean nodded for Laura to continue, "How did I never know that your sister testified against Malcolm?"

Jean laughed, "How did I never know you were married to Malcolm Tucker?" Laura looked down sheepishly. Jean nudged her, "I suspect our answers are the same. Neither of us really ever thought it was relevant."

"That was part of it. The other is I don't like to talk about Malcolm. I always feel talking about him will put me on his radar somehow."

Jean remembered Nicola telling her about him and this recollection fit with those conversations, "Nicola always said it was his super power."

Laura snickered at the idea, "He would love people to think so. Was all that stuff he said about her true or was that just Malcolm's way of deflecting?"

Shaking her head Jean answered, "Probably a bit of both. I do know that she got well and truly pissed one night and made a play for him. She was going through a divorce and feeling supremely insecure. I'm sure in her mind if the all-knowing, all powerful Malcolm Tucker wanted her then the divorce wasn't her fault."

"And did he do what he said? Leave her in a drunken heap?"

Jean shrugged, "Honestly I don't know. Nicola has no real recollection. The last thing she remembers was him in her hotel room and she kissed him. She woke up the next morning partially clothed sprawled across the bed. She's never handled alcohol well. I suspect she kissed him then passed out and he left. You know him better does that seem viable."

"If he'd slept with her he would have tortured her with it. If he never did that, they didn't have sex. Your story is probably right on the mark. Malcolm is many things but he wouldn't have done anything if she passed out." That sat there silently for a minute before Laura continued, "And the other part about her testimony?"

Laughter erupted from Jean, "Sadly, that part is true. Nicola is completely worthless at her job. She flusters easily and he's correct. If she had testified for much longer he probably would have walked and received a knighthood for services rendered."

Laura had no siblings so couldn't imagine one talking about the other this way, "She's your sister."

"Right and when Malcolm said that about her I defended her. I, however, can say whatever I please about her. Trust me, we are identical in looks only. I love her but she is completely useless."

"I hate to imagine what you say about me behind my back."

Jean rolled her eyes, "Of the many things I have ever said about you Laura Hobson, useless is not one of them. Difficult, snooty, prickly even, but never useless. Besides you are assuming that I have never told Nicola that I think she is useless. Your assumption would be wrong."

Laura sat up and looked at Jean, "Difficult, snooty, prickly…"

Jean pulled her back to her, "You have to admit we didn't get off to the best of starts."

Laura squeezed Jean's hand and smiled, "But we got there in the end and that's all that really matters."

The two women sat in the floor letting the quiet calm each of them. The silence was broken by Jean laughing insanely. Laura turned her head to look at her, "What's so funny?"

Jean shook her head trying to catch her breath, "Malcolm Tucker was your husband. I can't see it. You and Robbie I understand. But Malcolm Tucker did you lose a bet?"

"No, I didn't lose a bet. He wasn't Malcolm Tucker when I met him." Laura saw Jean's raised eyebrow, "OK he was Malcolm Tucker but he wasn't that Malcolm Tucker."

"People don't change that fundamentally Laura."

Laura shook her head, "He wasn't like that. He was funny and charming and he swept me off my feet. I loved him in a way that I've never loved anyone else."

"More than Robbie?"

Laura looked away, unable to meet Jean's eye, "Perhaps not more but deeper maybe."

"Do you still love him?"

Laura stood, walking to her desk to pack her things, "No, I don't think so, I don't know."

Jean stared at Laura's back, "Well that was clear as mud. Care to commit to one of those."

Laura shook her head, "I don't know if I can. If you had asked me that same question this morning my answer would have been different. Now…" She turned to Jean with a look of desperation, "You can't tell anyone."

"What's to tell? You don't have an answer yourself. Do you love Robbie?"

Tears brimmed in her blue eyes, "Yes."

"I say focus on that for the moment. Malcolm Tucker is like a hurricane. He's blown in dumping loads of rain and delivering heavy winds."

"People die in hurricanes Jean."

Jean closed the distance between them and took Laura's hands, "Generally, only when they're not prepared. That was Malcolm's mistake. He let you know he was here. The next time he rears his ugly head he won't catch you by surprise. He only gets away with what he gets away with because people are scared of him."

"Jean, I'm scared of him. I'm scared of how he could blow up the life I've built for myself. Here at work, with Robbie, everything."

"Well Malcolm Tucker does not scare me. I doubt he will scare Robbie and I would pay good money for him to go up against James. You've got us all on your side. How can he possibly compete against that?"

Laura smiled weakly. She wanted desperately to believe Jean. But she knew how Malcolm worked. He would never take them on together. He would divide and conquer. Find their individual weaknesses and plant seeds of doubt. She squeezed Jean's hands and tried to sound as confident as possible, "I'm not as certain as you but I will take all of the help I can get."

Jean saw the doubt in Laura's face, "Go home. Tell Robbie. I'll take care of James."

"What do I tell him?"

"Not to push my metaphor too far but batten down the hatches there's a storm coming seems appropriate."

Laura genuinely for the first time since Malcolm had left her office, "Hurricane Malcolm. That does fit. How much do I tell him?"

"Until you've figured out your feelings just tell him Malcolm is in town and that he stopped by. You don't know anything more than that."

Laura nodded. She turned back to her desk and grabbed her things. She left the files she'd been carrying earlier on her desk. Tonight was not a night to catch up on office work. Turning back to Jean she smiled as she headed for the door, "What will you tell James?"

Jean shook her head as she closed Laura's door behind them, "I have no idea. I'll figure it out when I find him. Let me walk you to your car on the off chance the devil is hiding in wait."

**I also like reviews. So...tell me what you're thinking.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Jean walked Laura to her car and waited until she was safely locked inside it. She remained in the parking lot until Laura had pulled into traffic and was on her way. Upon entering the station she went in search of James, hoping her favorite Inspector was keeping up with his workaholic ways.

As she rounded the corner she saw the light on in his office and smiled. Peeking around the corner she saw him pushed back in his chair reading a book. She smiled to herself thinking of the best way to catch him unaware. Just as she worked out a plan, "Ma'am either go home or come in, it's rude to lurk in doorways."

Stepping into the room she gave him a look of deep consternation, "Most people show some semblance of respect when they speak to me."

James looked up from his book, "I said ma'am, what more do you want?'

"You are the only person I know that somehow manages to make ma'am sound like an insult."

Pushing up from his chair, he placed the book on his desk then snapped to attention, "What can I do for you this fine evening Chief Super Innocent ma'am?"

Jean couldn't help but laugh. Had it been any of her other direct reports she would have skinned them alive. But James was a special case, Robbie had been a special case too. She looked at him still standing at attention, "At ease Detective Inspector, I have a question for you." As quickly as he had snapped to attention he dropped indolently into his chair. He made a flipping motion with his hand as if giving her permission to carry on, "Exactly how long have you know that Malcolm Tucker was Laura's ex-husband? And why didn't you ever tell me?"

Propping his feet on his desk he fixed her with a benign gaze, "That's two questions ma'am but as a sign of respect I will not split hairs and answer both. I've known since we investigated her seven years ago. As to the other, it wasn't my secret to tell."

She stared at him for a moment. There were times he was such an odd duck, "James, you would have made a good priest."

His head lowered slightly, "No ma'am I wouldn't have. I'm fairly certain a priest has to believe. I'm not certain that I do."

A moment of silence passed between them before Jean continued, "I need a favor James. One that's not strictly by the books."

His indolence disappeared instantly and he leaned toward her, "Do tell ma'am?"

"I need to know where Malcolm Tucker is staying while he is in Oxford."

"How do you know he is in Oxford?"

"I just found him in Laura's office. He panicked when he saw me and left. But I got the distinct impression it was simply the building not the city."

"Is Laura OK?

Jean looked at him curiously, "Why would you ask that?"

James cursed internally, he shouldn't have asked that. Innocent was entirely too sharp, "No specific reason, I just imagine it's a shock to have your ex-husband that you haven't seen for a decade or more show up at your place of work."

Jean didn't really believe him but decided to let it go for the moment, "So can you do what I asked?"

"Give me an hour."

Jean turned to leave then looked back at James, "I don't suppose it would do me any good to ask you why you are really concerned about Laura?"

"No ma'am it wouldn't."

"You're an odd duck James. You claim not to believe in God so what exactly is it that you do believe in?"

With the most serious look Jean had ever seen on his face James answered, "I believe in Robbie and Laura ma'am."

Taken aback by his answer all Jean could do was nod. She had known he had an unnatural closeness to Robbie. She hadn't known that closeness extended to Laura as well.

One hour later, sitting at her desk, still working, her phone buzzed signaling a text. Looking at the clock she knew exactly what the message would contain. She gathered her things and headed to her car.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Laura was halfway home before she realized she hadn't checked to see what Robbie wanted for supper. She turned into the first store she came to and parked before searching through her bag for her phone. She smiled as she read his text, "_All I want is you. Come home soon._"

Sitting in her parked car the genuine sentiment of his text swept over her. Robbie Lewis was the dream she never knew she had. The contrast between his love for her and the love she'd known with Malcolm was night and day, light and dark.

At the thought of Malcolm, Robbie's words from the night before played through her head, "_He can't be that bad, you did love him enough once to marry him_." She closed her eyes letting her head fall back on the head rest. There was truth in that statement. The tender look on Malcolm's face before he left her office was all she could see. In that moment, she had remembered all of the reasons that she loved him.

She rolled down her car window hoping fresh air would push away thoughts of Malcolm Tucker. Rather than fresh air the smell of a burning cigarette wafted into her car. The memory took her before she could stop it.

_She shook the lighter again trying to coax one last flame from it. In a fit of pique, realizing that it wasn't going to light, she threw it across the narrow alley, "Bollocks." She fell against the wall exhaling heavily._

_Amused laughter drew her attention right before a lilting voice teased her, "Come on love, you can do better than that."_

_She turned to see the source of the voice and was instantly mesmerized by a set of blue eyes. It wasn't just the color capturing her attention but the intensity of the gaze. As the owner of the eyes moved closer she heard the distinctive snick of a lighter. She raised the cigarette to her lips and leaned forward slightly. Her eyes never left his gaze. _

_Just as the end of her cigarette flared catching light from his lighter she felt the soft touch of his hand on hers. There was a jolt through her as their skin connected. Her breath hitched and she almost gasped when he took a step back breaking the physical connection._

_He nodded his head toward her, "You wouldn't have another one of those would you."_

_She shook her head as she exhaled, "Nope, I only bring one at a time."_

_Shrugging he turned to walk away, "Oh well, I guess it's not my day."_

_Suddenly she didn't want him to walk away, "We could share."_

_"Are you sure?" He turned to look at her raising a single eyebrow, "You don't know me; I might be a cold-blooded killer."_

_She pointed up to the cameras covering the alley, "Well if you are, you aren't a very smart cold-blooded killer. And something tells me you are very smart." She held out the cigarette hoping he would come back to her._

_The smile he gave her was the most brilliant thing she had ever seen. As he took the cigarette from her his fingers brushed hers again. Once again a shock of excitement rushed through her. She watched him breathlessly as he slowly brought the cigarette to his lips. His eyes closed in ecstasy as he inhaled. For a brief moment she wondered what it would feel like to touch those lips._

_He held the smoke in his lungs savoring the burn. He'd quit smoking months ago but something about her made him desperately want one. As he exhaled, blowing the smoke carefully away from her he handed the cigarette back to her, "Thank you for sharing."_

_She nodded temporarily speechless, "Thank you for having a lighter."_

_"That's right without me this wouldn't have been possible."_

_She laughed, regaining some of her normal spark, "Well you're half right."_

_"How do you figure?"_

_"I had the cigarette. Without me you would have just been starting fires."_

_He leaned down and whispered in her ear. His lilting voice slid across her senses connecting with something low in her body, "Have I started a fire?"_

_Laura recognized his tactic and decided two could play that game. With a coy smile she looked up at him, "Only on the end of my cigarette." She turned away from him and put the cigarette out in the bin behind her. She looked over her shoulder and smirked, "And now it's gone out."_

_The man with the blue eyes smiled at her taking a step back. He recognized a worthy opponent when he met one, "I guess next time I will have to try harder."_

_She watched him bend over and admired the view, "What makes you so sure there will be a next time?"_

_He handed her the lighter she had thrown in a fit of pique earlier, "Because someone has to teach you how to throw a fit." She took the lighter from him smiling. She started to say something as he turned away but was interrupted, "I'll be seeing you Dr. Laura Hobson." He waved over his shoulder and was gone before she realized she hadn't told him her name._

_As she was using her ID card to get back into the building she realized how he knew her name. She shook her head. He was smart. She had a sneaking suspicion he was going to trouble. As she washed her hands before going back to her samples she rubbed the place on her hand he'd touched, definitely trouble, something to look forward to._

Laura closed the window, pushing the memory away. She wished she could go back in time and tell her younger self to walk away. Taking a deep breath she started her car and headed home.

**A/N: Now I want a cigarette more than anything I can imagine. Wine will have to do, because I don't smoke anymore, except when I do or at least that's the story I tell my husband.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**I know I have told a few of you that there was a Robson chapter next (twice now). But each time I go to edit a later chapter seems to fit better. I almost, positively guarantee that Robson is next, most likely, probably, maybe.**

* * *

Jean entered the Randolph and made straight for the bar. Malcolm Tucker didn't strike her as the type of man who would skulk about in his room. She stood in the doorway for a moment allowing her eyes to adjust. She found him sprawled across a chair in front of the open fireplace. She walked over to him and sat in the chair opposite him.

He'd seen her enter the room. She was not the type of woman who wasn't noticed. Everyone in the bar seemed to glance her way. He'd wondered who would come calling. It had been a mistake to go to Laura's office. He should have known she would have protectors.

Raising his glass, he mock saluted her before draining it of its amber liquid, "I guess this is the part where you've come to threaten me."

Jean relaxed into the chair, "What makes you think that Mr. Tucker?"

He motioned to the server, "Aren't you here to protect the innocent, forgive the pun, Laura Hobson?" The server took the empty glass from him and he smiled up at her, "Love, I'll have another and the lady will have…" He looked at Jean with a devilish smile, "Something white and fruity?"

Jean smiled at the young woman, "Do you have the Dalmore 1263 in stock?"

"I believe so ma'am."

"We'll take the bottle and charge it to Mr. Tucker's tab."

They sat in silence until the young woman returned with their bottle and poured a generous amount in each of their glasses. Once she was gone Malcolm raised his glass and lightly touched her, "You surprise me Jean."

She took a sip from her glass and gave him an appraising look, "Why is that Mr. Tucker?"

"I had you pegged for a fruity drink person. Something sparkly and light. And you can call me Malcolm, Jean."

"I would prefer you call me Mrs. Innocent or Chief Super Innocent and I will continue to call you Mr. Tucker. Also you shouldn't judge me by what you know of Nicola." She saw him flinch at her sister's name, "You will find that past our looks we are nothing alike."

He watched her drain her glass and lean forward to refill her glass, "I don't think I can call you anything to do with the name Innocent because I suspect you are anything but." The enigmatic smile that played across her face fascinated him, "What if I just call you ma'am? Yes I think I quite like ma'am." He deliberately drew out the word, rolling it across his tongue as he watched her.

Jean paused, attempting to control her breathing. She was called ma'am all day long by a host of people in her office. Those four letters had never had this effect on her, "That will work fine Mr. Tucker."

Malcolm refilled his glass then relaxed into the chair. His long legs stretched before him crossed casually at his ankles, "Why don't you tell me all of the ways you will make my life miserable if I don't leave Laura alone?"

"What makes you so sure that's why I'm here? I could be here to tell you off for ruining Nicola's life."

Again he flinched at the mention of her sister's name. He hid it better this time but Jean had still seen it. He shook his head as he looked at her over his glass, "I suppose that could be the reason but I suspect you have a better measure of your sister. You know that wasn't all my fault."

Jean nodded acknowledging the truth of the statement, "Too true, I am curious about one thing."

"What's that?"

"You could have walked, named names and you would have been a free man. Why didn't you? Why did you choose to go to jail? And by everything I could learn, you opted to do the full five years."

While his body appeared to be relaxed in the chair, he practically vibrated with excitement, she had looked into him. He nodded slightly at her impressed with her understanding, "It was the honorable thing to do. I keep the secrets."

She cocked her head at him, "You keep their secrets and they take care of you after?" He nodded, watching her closely as she finished her second glass of whisky. She topped off his glass before pouring another for herself, "And what would you have done if they hadn't kept their end of the bargain?"

His eyes seemed to darken to the flat black she'd only ever seen on sharks in documentaries, "I would have destroyed them."

"Is that what you plan to do to Laura?"

He smiled, perhaps the first genuine smile she'd seen on him, "And the shoe drops."

"She doesn't deserve it you know. She's happy. If you love her as much as I suspect you did, I would think you would want her to be happy. Even if it's not with you."

"What makes you so sure I don't still love her?"

"I'm almost certain you still do. Do we ever really stop loving people?"

He sat up in his chair and leaned closer to her, "No ma'am, people like us don't."

Jean had to look away. She wasn't sure if it was the whisky, the ma'am or the truth of his statement but suddenly she couldn't look at him. She drew a deep breath, drained her glass and stood. She gave him a tender look finally understanding something crucial about Malcolm Tucker, "Sometimes the best way to love people is to let them go."

Their eyes locked he made a snap decision, "I don't generally tell people when they make a mistake. Usually, I exploit that mistake and make them suffer for it."

She smiled, "What mistake have I made Mr. Tucker?"

"You assume I am the guilty party. I've been to prison ma'am but it doesn't mean I am guilty. I might just be the innocent party in this particular equation."

"You're wrong, Mr. Tucker. I suspect there is plenty of guilt to go around. But how long does someone have to pay for their guilt?"

He watched her turn to walk away impressed with how steady she seemed, Jean Innocent was a worthy opponent, "How is she?"

Jean paused but didn't turn to him, "She's happy."

"Then it all was all worth it." Jean turned sharply to look at him. He met her gaze with a look of heartbreaking tenderness, "Tell her I'm sorry."

She nodded, "I will…Malcolm." Jean turned to leave suddenly not quite as steady on her feet.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Finally they are reunited. I actually kept my promise of a Robson chapter.**

Laura let herself into the house and was instantly greeted with the smell of something delicious. She dropped her things on the table by the door and walked to the kitchen. Robbie was stirring something on the stove. Watching him she was filled with such tenderness that her breath caught.

She went to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his center. She buried her head in his back, inhaling him. His laugh coursed lightly through her body as he reached around to touch her, "What's this all about Laura?"

She smiled up at him as he turned in her arms, "I missed you today."

He saw the tension around her eyes, "That's not all. What's wrong?"

She exhaled feeling some of the tension begin to release, "I need to tell you something."

"Do you want to go to the garden? Dinner can sit for a while?"

Shaking her head she pulled him closer, "No, it's best that I just get it out."

Sensing her fear, he pulled her closer and kissed her on the forehead, "Go ahead Laura. It can't be that bad."

"Malcolm came by my office this afternoon."

He pushed her back looking her up and down, "Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head, smiling at his concern, "No, Malcolm was never a physical man. We traded a few verbal jabs but I'm well-equipped to handle those."

"Why was he there?"

She shrugged as she leaned into him, resting her head on his chest. She listened to the steady beating of his heart, reassured by his closeness, "He claims it was just to say hello. He's lecturing at Lady Margaret Hall over the next few weeks."

Resting his chin on top of her head, "But you don't believe him?"

"Oh I believe he's lecturing I just don't think that's all he has in mind."

"We have to call James and Jean, let them know."

She hugged him tighter, loving him more for already making a plan, "They already know. Jean stopped by my office and interrupted our verbal sparring."

Robbie laughed, "Something tells me that had to be a sight to behold."

Laughter erupted from Laura, "It was. Did you know her sister testified against him?"

"Laura until a week ago I barely knew who he was."

"I'm sorry I brought him into our lives Robbie."

He pushed her back gently needing her to see him, "Laura, you didn't bring him in to our lives, he walked into it."

"He's my ex-husband. If not for that he wouldn't be in our lives."

"He's still part of your past. He's only here for a few weeks and then he will be remanded to the past where he belongs."

"How can you be so sure Robbie? You don't know what he's capable of?"

He took her face into his hands and tenderly kissed her, "Let him do his worst Laura. I'm not going anywhere. Hell, I owe him a thank you." He smiled at the questioning look on her face. He kissed her again before whispering in her ear, "If he'd been a better husband you'd never have come to Oxford and we would never have met. I can't imagine my life without you Laura."

A tear fell down her cheek as she thought about her words to Jean earlier in the evening. How could she have ever thought she'd loved anyone more or deeper than this man? Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him down so she could bury her face in his neck, "I love you, Robbie Lewis."

* * *

Robbie and Laura had a quiet dinner. They put Malcolm Tucker out of their minds and simply basked in the love they shared. As they were putting the last dishes away Robbie pressed into her, pinning her to the cabinet.

His hands wandered down her body as he breathed into her ear, "Dr. Hobson I believe you mentioned something earlier about a rain check."

Laura wound her hand up to his hair drawing him closer, "Are you collecting on said rain check Mr. Lewis?"

She shivered as she felt his lips on her neck, soft, then more insistent, "Yes, I am."

She turned in his arms and looked up at him, eyes darkened with desire, "The question is do you want to collect here or elsewhere?"

He took her hand and pulled her toward the stairs, "Somewhere else Dr. Hobson, I plan on taking my time collecting on this debt."

She followed him, willingly, up the stairs to their bedroom. He slowly undressed her, kissing each inch of skin as he uncovered it. His hands roamed her body touching her softly, reverently. He lowered her to the bed and watched her as he removed his own clothes.

Her skin was flushed and she watched him through hooded his eyes. He ran his hand up the length of her body and was rewarded with a soft sound that made his length twitch. He lowered his head and took one taut peak into his mouth and the sound deepened. He could feel it vibrating though her body.

He continued to suckle at her breast while his hand teased the other. The noise she made smoothed out to a steady constant sound. He dipped his hand between her legs and slowly teased her. She arched up to him the sound deepened again to something less smooth more jagged.

Robbie knew she was close. He pressed his fingers into her and curled them slightly. He kissed up her body feeling the vibrations coming from her. As he made it to her mouth he locked eyes with her, "I love making you purr Laura." He lowered his head to kiss her and missed the look of panic.

* * *

Laura was lost to Robbie's ministrations. It felt so good to let him play her body. To let this love they shared wash away the memories of the day. His hands were everywhere, then his lips were on her. She could feel the pleasure vibrate through her body.

His hands were at her center and then his fingers slipped inside her. She could feel the climax building, he teased her. His fingers stroking in and out keeping her just on the edge. She pushed up to him wanting more contact.

Her breathing was becoming more jagged when she finally felt his body move and his weight shift onto her. He curled his fingers and she could feel the waves building in her body. She opened her eyes to look at him wanting him to see the pleasure wash over her, "I love making you purr Laura."

As his lips touched hers she heard Malcolm's voice in her head, "_Or maybe it was why I gave you that particular nickname you liked?_"

* * *

Laura panicked. She pushed against Robbie. She needed him away from her, off her. Robbie mistook her panic for pleasure and attempted to deepen the kiss.

Flailing beneath him, pushing frantically at him. She managed to break the kiss and screamed, "No, get off me." She scrambled away from Robbie to the corner of the bed pulling pillows to cover her body.

Robbie watched her move away from him. He reached out to touch her and she screamed again, slapping at his hand, "Laura, what's wrong, did I hurt you?"

Breathing heavily she stared at him, "Don't touch me."

Confused Robbie ran his hand through his hair. He didn't know what was wrong. Laura who had always been so comfortable with him was now huddled in a corner of their bed trying desperately to cover herself.

He stood slowly and went to the bathroom. When he returned he had on his dressing gown and was holding hers, "Here." He placed it gently on the bed but did not get on the bed, "I'll go back into the bathroom so you can cover yourself."

He watched her reach for it keeping her eyes on him the entire time. He backed slowly into the bathroom and closed the door. He rested his head against the door desperate to hear what she was doing.

He counted to 100 once and then twice more before tapping lightly on the door. He opened it just an inch, "Laura, I'm coming into the room."

She was still in the far corner of the bed. Her dressing gown on and the covers pulled around her. He walked to the bed and started to sit but the way she flinched he thought better of it, "Laura will you please talk to me?"

Laura lowered her head and buried it in the pillow. She shook her head as she felt the tears building.

Robbie's heart broke. Lowering himself to the floor beside the bed he watched her, unsure of what he had done, "What did I do? Help me understand."

* * *

He listened to her cry for almost an hour and was lost for a way to comfort her. Each time he tried to get closer she panicked. It killed him to watch her in such obvious pain and not be able to help her, "Laura, if you won't talk to me, can I call Jean?"

She raised her head and nodded slightly. He almost reached for her but then thought better of it, "I'm going downstairs to call her. If I made you some tea would you take it from me?"

Again she nodded then she turned her back to him and curled around her pillow. He watched her for a moment and was partially relieved that she didn't start crying again. Backing out of the room slowly he raced downstairs.

He found his phone, scrolled through his contact list and pressed call when he found Jean's number.

"Robbie is everything OK."

He shook his head, "No, Laura just freaked out and won't let me near her. Can you please come over?"

Jean sighed to herself, all she wanted to do was get into a taxi and go home. She wasn't sure she was in any shape to support anyone. That third whisky had been a mistake, "Of course Robbie, I'll be right over."

"Thank you Jean, I've never seen her like this." He ended the call and started making tea.

* * *

Jean scrolled through her contacts and pressed send. She waited for the call to connect, "Ma'am, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"I need a ride James."

James sat up in his chair delighted to be able to tease, "Have you had too much to drink ma'am?"

"James, I don't have time to play cat and mouse. Can you provide assistance or not?"

Hearing the change in her voice James was instantly worried, "Are you OK ma'am?"

"I'm fine, I've had a bit too much to drink and Robbie just called. Something's wrong with Laura."

James didn't need to hear anything more, "I'm on my way, where are you?"

"Thank you James, I'm at The Randolph."

**A/N I never said it was going to be a happy Robson chapter. Evil, subversive mind, party of one.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Another chapter (if you haven't read seven back up and do that now), you can thank CrimeFictionFan. She threatened me (actually she just gave me the best compliment ever - evil, subversive mind). I hope this chapter makes it all better.**

James made it to The Randolph in record time. Jean was waiting outside for him when he pulled up. He had barely stopped the car when she opened the door and climbed in. As she was putting on her seatbelt he handed her a travel mug and a small bag. She took them from him with a questioning look, "What's this James?"

He smiled as he pulled away from the hotel, "Sustenance ma'am. I thought you might need something to sober you up a bit before you see Laura."

She took a sip from the travel mug he'd handed her and was not surprised to find coffee exactly the way she liked it. Smiling as she took a deeper sip she spared a thought to how he knew these things. She put the mug down and opened the bag, "I suppose the sandwich is just the way I like it too?"

James shrugged his shoulders, "It's not difficult to determine what people like. All you have to do is pay attention, some might say it is part of the job."

Jean nodded gratefully as she took the first bite of the sandwich. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until the food hit her mouth. James watched her covertly as he wound his way to Robbie and Laura's. He'd never seen her devour food this way. "Ma'am, when's the last time you ate something?"

She stopped mid-bite, laughing at herself, she must look quite the picture to him, ravenously devouring a sandwich, "Breakfast. I was in a meeting at lunch then forgot about eating."

He cast an appraising glance at her, "Drinking on an empty stomach ma'am?"

She wiped her mouth with the napkin he'd tucked into the bag, "Two things James." He looked at her quickly noting the change in her voice, "First, since you are helping me with a personal issue why don't you call me Jean. Second, I don't need the lecture about drinking on an empty stomach. I am well aware that I shouldn't have done it but the situation warranted it."

"Do I get to call you Jean all of the time?"

Taking a sip of her coffee she smiled to herself, "Why don't you try it in the office and see how that goes for you?"

James noted her teasing tone but wasn't especially sure he wanted to tempt fate, "I think I'm smart enough to remember to call you ma'am in the office." They drove in silence for a few moments before James addressed her second point, "What about the situation warranted a drink?"

She shook her head, "He was drinking. It seemed right to join him. I thought it would keep the conversation less confrontational."

"And was it, less confrontational, that is?"

Jean looked out the window. Her conversation with Malcolm played through her mind, "I don't know what it was."

"Did you warn him to stay away from Laura?"

"No, it was what he was expecting."

James stopped in front of Robbie and Laura's, turned the car off and turned to Jean, "So you went to his hotel, drank with him and didn't warn him to stay away from Laura?"

Jean took the last sip of her coffee and turned to James. A part of her was annoyed with him for challenging her, the other part was annoyed with herself. He was right, she had gone to the hotel with the intent of warning him away from Laura and instead had found herself completely beguiled, "James, I read the situation. Had I gone in pushing and telling him to stay away or else, it would have added fuel to the fire."

"Then what exactly did you do in this conversation you had, besides drink that is?"

"I don't think he planned to but he revealed part of his plan."

"Malcolm Tucker revealed his plan to you over a couple of drinks. I find that nearly impossible to believe."

"Plan might be too strong of a word. It's hard to explain James, you had to be there. The bottom line is I don't think he means her any harm. I actually think he's still in love with her."

James looked at her incredulously, "And you don't think that will cause her harm? You don't think that will cause Robbie harm?"

She opened the door of the car and stepped out. James followed suit on the opposite side. Looking at him over the top of the car she gave him the only answer she could, "She's happy with Robbie, Malcolm is not going to come between them. She waited far too long for Robbie to be ready to throw it all away for the likes of Malcolm Tucker."

James wanted to slam the car door he was so furious. Mindful of the hour and the neighbors he eased it closed before fixing Jean with a look that caused her to take a step back, "Yes, I can see how that's working out. It's gone eleven and we are standing in their driveway because something is wrong with Laura. Excellent plan ma'am."

Jean watched him stride furiously towards the house. It took her a second to realize that he wasn't waiting for her. She had to run to catch up with him, he was knocking on the door when she did. Robbie opened it instantly and was momentarily surprised to see both of them.

James recognized the look of surprise and motioned his head towards Jean, "She had too much to drink and needed a lift. Where's Laura?'

Robbie stepped aside as James pushed into the house. He followed after James leaving Jean on her own. She followed the two men, closing the door behind her.

James saw the tea tray sitting on the kitchen counter and picked it up, "I assume you made this for her?"

Robbie nodded, still shocked by what was going on, "Yes, she said she would take some tea if I brought it to her. But after I called Jean I thought it might be better if she took it up."

Jean finally happy to have something to do moved to take the tray from James. She was stunned when James turned and moved away from her. He started toward the stairs and called over his shoulders, "I'll take it up you too have done enough for one evening."

Robbie and Jean gaped at one another. Both were unsure what had just happened but they both felt like small children that had just been sent to a time out.

**Wait, refresh my memory, did I say this one was going to make it better? I might not have been completely truthful about that. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Laura was curled into her bed. She couldn't sleep, memories kept playing through her head every time she closed her eyes. Jumbled memories of Malcolm, those early days, how much she'd loved him. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and let the memories take her.

_It had been a week since she'd shared a cigarette with the man with the blue eyes. Each day she'd gone down at the same time, hoping to see him. Each day she'd been disappointed. She'd given up hope when a friend invited her to meet for drinks after work. _

_She'd said yes thinking it didn't make sense to stay home thinking about someone that she'd met for less than ten minutes. She walked into the pub looking around for her friend. Not seeing anyone familiar she decided to get a table while there were still a few available. She ordered a drink, grabbed a table and sat to wait. _

_A gentle hand touched her shoulder. She smiled thinking she must have missed her friend when a familiar voice whispered in her ear, "Do you know how many pubs I've been to in the last week looking for you?"_

_She smiled up at him, "You know where I work and you know my name, you could have just called me."_

_He eased into the chair beside her, "Where's the challenge in that? Besides I can now tell you which pubs in a ten block radius have the best whisky selections."_

_Taking a cautious sip of her drink she asked, "And that is important how?"_

_"It's always good to know where you can get a good drink. Especially in my line of work."_

_"And what, exactly, is your line of work?"_

_"Public relations and communication."_

_"I'm not really sure what that means."_

_He took a sip of his drink. The mischievous look on his face enchanted her, "Neither does anyone else but they pay me a lot of money to do it."_

_They stared at one another, blue eyes locked on blue eyes. Laura bit down on her lower lip uncomfortable yet mesmerized under his gaze, "How does this pub rank?"_

_"Dead last." He lifted his glass, "This is rotgut. I have to say I am a bit disappointed to find you here."_

_She laughed, "Would it make you feel better to know I didn't choose this pub? The friend I'm meeting chose it." _

_The look he gave her at the mention of a friend sent warmth coursing through her body. It had been far too long since she'd felt this way about someone, "Where is this mystery friend of yours?"_

_"Running late, as per usual."_

_He leaned in so his mouth was just next to her ear, "If I made plans with you, I would never be late."_

_Laura was just about to respond when she saw her friend. She waved then stood. Her friend looked questioningly at Malcolm, "Who's your friend Laura?"_

_Laura struggled not to roll her eyes. She should have known he would be the center of attention, "Ellen, this is…" That's when Laura realized that she had no idea who he was. This man who had consumed her thoughts, fed her fantasies and thoroughly enchanted her was a complete stranger._

_He stood and offered his hand, "Ellen, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Malcolm Tucker."_

_Ellen smiled up at him as she took his hand, "It's very nice to meet you Malcolm."_

_Laura watched Ellen fawn over Malcolm. It was to be expected. Let there be a man within a 20 foot radius and Ellen would fawn. She was just about to say something when Malcolm interrupted, "How about I get you ladies a drink? Laura, another gin and tonic?" She looked at him curious as to how he knew and nodded, "Ellen, dear, what can I get you?"_

_She giggled and blushed. Laura interceded, "White wine, whatever chardonnay they have."_

_Malcolm smiled down at Laura, "I'll be right back." _

_As he walked away he let his hand trail across her shoulders. She shivered as fire and ice ran through her body. She reached to touch where his hand had been, certain there would be a mark. Ellen's voice distracted her from her thoughts, "Who is that?"_

_"You just met him."_

_Ellen looked back at Laura annoyed that she was being so touchy, "I meant who is he to you? Is he available?"_

_"He's no one really. I met him a week ago. We just happened to bump into each while I was waiting for you."_

_Ellen smiled as she looked back at him, "So you don't mind if I go after him? He's really quite dishy."_

_Laura stared at her friend. It was like this every time a man was involved, "Feel free." As soon as the words left her mouth she felt a sense of loss that she couldn't explain._

_"Shhh, here he comes, pretend like I said something amusing. Men like funny women."_

_Laura glared at Ellen, questioning why she was still friends with her. A not very gentle kick under the table and she forced a laugh. Ellen's bubbling laugh filled their space, "Isn't that just the funniest thing?"_

_Laura nodded, "Hysterical."_

_Malcolm placed the wine glass in front of Ellen, "Here you go Ellen."_

_She smiled coyly at him, "Thanks Malcolm, it was very kind of you."_

_"It was nothing. Laura, here is your drink." _

_He handed it to her rather than place it on the table. She looked up at him to take the drink. His finger traced across hers as she took the drink, "Thank you Malcolm."_

_"It was my pleasure, Laura."_

_She smiled, looking away, noting the difference in how he responded to her. Once again his hand slid across her back as he walked around to his seat._

_Once he was seated Ellen pounced, "Malcolm are you a doctor too?"_

_He leaned back in his seat putting distance between him and Ellen, "No, afraid I wasn't quite smart enough."_

_"I'm sure that's not true. Do you work at the hospital, is it how you met Laura?"_

_He took a sip of his drink wincing at the bitterness of the whisky, "No."_

_"You only answered one of my questions. How did you meet Laura?"_

_"Actually, no answered both of your question. I don't work at the hospital and it is not how I met Laura."_

_"So how did you meet Laura?"_

_He smiled at Ellen but his eyes were on Laura, "You might say a mutual vice brought us together."_

_Ellen stared at him for a moment not really sure how to take his answer. Finally she shook her head and started a staccato round of questions._

_Laura watched amused as Ellen continued to pepper Malcolm with questions. Ellen seemed unaware Malcolm was not interested in her conversation. Each question he answered with a simple yes or no not giving her any room to maneuver. Each monosyllabic answer served to push Ellen towards a more personal question._

_"So Malcolm, I don't see a ring does that mean you're single?"_

_At this question he leaned forward, "No, I am, most assuredly, not single."_

_Ellen sat back in her chair, defeated. Laura turned her head sharply to Malcolm. He wasn't single. Then why was here? She'd been certain he was flirting with her. _

_Ellen looked at her empty glass. The last ten minutes had been a waste. This man wasn't single so it made no sense to continue talking with him, "I'm going to get another drink. Do either of you want anything?"_

_Ellen didn't notice her two companions were locked in a moment of their own. She vaguely noted their shaking heads before she walked off to the bar._

_"You're not single? Then why did you go to…"_

_His touch on her cheek stopped her question, "Laura, I am completely single. I'm just not interested in your friend. Telling her I'm unavailable seemed to be the quickest and kindest way to get her to stop questioning me."_

_Her breath caught, his thumb was softly stroking her cheek. All she could think about was him stroking her in other places. She could feel the blush rising across her chest. She saw him leaning into her and was certain he was going to kiss her. Her eyes closed, lips parted, she was panting in anticipation._

_"You're beautiful when you blush. Actually, you're beautiful period. You're sexy when you blush."_

_Laura exhaled loudly as she felt him pull away. Her eyes moved frantically around the room. Could anyone else see what this man did to her? She wanted to pull him to her, kiss him, tear his clothes off. She shook her head. How could she be having these thoughts? This was only the second time she'd ever seen him. She hadn't known his name half an hour ago._

_His hand on hers snapped her out of her thoughts, "I have to go Laura. Have dinner with me tomorrow? Please?" She felt herself nodding before she could think. He squeezed her hand and she felt something in her hand. She looked down at the card and felt his breath on her ear, "The address and details are on the back; my number is on the front. Call me anytime, night or day. I'll always take your call."_

_She squeezed the card in her hand as she watched him walk away. Malcolm Tucker was definitely trouble._

The door opening pulled her from the memory. She looked up expecting to see either Robbie or Jean. James kicking the door shut while carrying a tea tray was that last thing she expected.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Malcolm watched Jean walk away. He'd fought the impulse to go after her. He didn't want her to think him a complete monster. That need was what made him ask about Nicola. Of all of the people in his career he'd destroyed, Nicola Murray was the one he regretted.

Knowing she was happy made him feel, somewhat, better. It also meant he wouldn't go to her. He would trust Jean to relay his message. It was probably for the best. Let her be happy, he really did wish her well.

He grabbed the bottle and made his way to his room. As he opened the door to his suite Jean's words echoed in his head, "_Sometimes the best way to love people is to let them go_."

She was probably right, he should just walk away, let Laura go. He'd come to Oxford intent on finding her, getting her back, then crushing her the way she had crushed him once upon a time.

But one look at her and his plan had blown to pieces. All of those old protective instincts had returned. Even when he'd seen all of her pictures, the visual reminders of a happy life she'd built, without him. He spared a brief thought to the children, her children with that other man.

He remembered the flash of hurt then anger that had crossed her face when he held her picture. How she had forcefully taken it from his hand. He'd struck a nerve talking about her family. He thought about the family they'd wanted, three kids. He'd wanted all girls who looked just like her. She'd said no, he would spoil them too much. She wanted all boys who looked like him but had her temperament.

He poured another glass of whisky and made his way to the bedroom. He set the glass on the nightstand as he stripped his clothes. As he went to drop them on the ground he was reminded of her incessant neatness. Laughing to himself he neatly put his things away before going back to the bed.

Grabbing the glass his attention was drawn to a framed photograph. It was the only personal thing besides clothes he'd brought with him to Oxford. It was from their wedding day. They were looking at one another, a moment of pure happiness, captured for eternity, Seacliff Beach with Bass Rock in the background. Her hair was blowing, the tawny light from the sun setting surrounded them. He'd kissed her seconds after the photo was taken. He didn't think he'd ever been happier than at that moment. It was simply glorious.

Lifting the picture and pulling it closer as he leaned into the pillows on the bed, he adjusted his thoughts. He'd always been happy when she was around. No one had ever captured his senses the way she had. Even five minutes in a room with her and he was captivated all over again.

_He waited, nervously, in the restaurant. He was fifteen minutes early. He was never early, to anything. He made other people wait for him. But something about this woman made him want to make sure everything would be perfect. _

_He'd forced the __Maître d' to change their table twice. He'd pre-selected the wines not sure if she preferred red or white. Now he was waiting. He checked his watch, it was seven on the dot. He looked to the doorway to the dining room and there she was, breathtakingly beautiful. For a single, magnificent moment the world stood still. _

_The smile she gave him made his blood run hot. Standing as she neared the table he struggled to catch his breath. His hand went to her waist as he bent to kiss her lightly on the cheek, "You take my breath away Laura."_

_She bit on her lower lip as she smiled up at him, "Thank you Malcolm." He didn't hear a word she said all he could think about was her lower lip and how he would like to bite it as he kissed her. _

_He helped her into her chair then returned to the safety of his. He needed to put some distance between them or he would never make it through this meal, "Besides being breathtakingly beautiful, how are you this evening?"_

_Laura looked at him skeptically, "Do you flatter every woman you meet this way?"_

_Malcolm's instinct was to spar with her. But as he looked in to her crystal blue eyes all desire to spar left him, "No, never. Generally, I am much less flattering to people."_

_"__I guess that makes me special."_

_He reached across and gently took her hand, "To me, Laura, you are very special."_

_"__You don't know me Malcolm how are you so certain I am special."_

_He laughed, knowing she would never believe him, "It's my super power. I can always tell about people. It's what makes me so good at what I do."_

_"__And what does your super power tell you about me?"_

_He wound their fingers together playing with her delicate yet strong hands as he told her, "That you are smart and kind and incredibly passionate. You don't like when people overlook you because you are a woman in a field usually dominated by men. You don't allow yourself to be pushed around; you give as good as you get. You can be prickly but are immensely loyal. Your intelligence intimidates some people and secretly that pleases you. You are intensely private and prefer the company of a few close friends to legions of acquaintances."_

_Laura stared at him, astounded at what he'd said. This man who had spent a sum total of half an hour with her knew her better than most of the people in her life, "That's some super power you have."_

_He panicked, had he gone too far? The gentle squeeze from her hand reassured him. The soft smile she gave him when he finally met her eyes relaxed him completely, "I'm sorry. I'm used to being around people that have the manners of wild animals. I sometimes forget that people outside of my world are actually polite."_

_She stroked her thumb along the side of his hand sending lightning coursing through his veins, "Well then, Malcolm Tucker, it's a good thing I came along. Seems like you could do with someone to remind you of the niceties of the world." That was the moment Malcolm Tucker fell irrevocably in love with Laura Hobson. _

Taking a sip of the whisky his thoughts were drawn to Jean. He savored the liquid as it burned a path through his body. Another woman that intrigued him. If he was honest, she was the first woman since Laura.

She'd sat across from him and ordered a £600 bottle of whisky as calmly as if she did it every day. Then she'd blithely drank with him as if she didn't have any reason in the world to hate him. He had to respect her for her composure. He took another sip and thought about respect. It was something he demanded of others but he didn't often give.

As he looked down at the picture of his wedding day feeling the lingering burn of the whisky he wondered if he'd made a mistake. Perhaps coming to Oxford was the wrong thing to do. He traced his finger across Laura's face. She was the one thing in his life that had ever been right.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Robbie watched the retreating form of James climbing the stairs. He looked back at Jean, "What was that all about?"

She looked at Robbie not sure how much to share. It was enough that James was angry with her, she wasn't sure she could take another man in her life angry. With a heavy sigh she dove in, "He's angry with me for something I did or didn't do dependent on how you look at it."

Robbie turned in the kitchen and opened the cabinet, "My mother always said at times like this tea was a good thing."

Jean laughed at the odd non sequitur, "Funny my mum always says whisky is a good thing at times like this."

He looked back at her and smiled, "I like the way your mum thinks." He closed the first cabinet and opened a different one. Removing a bottle and two glasses he looked back at Jean, "Do you need ice?"

She shook her head, "Neat is fine with me."

He handed her a glass and motioned for her to follow him. He led her to the garden then poured them each a healthy measure. Lightly touching his glass to hers he sat, "Now what is it that you did or didn't do that has James so angry?"

Jean took a sip of the whisky. It wasn't as smooth as the earlier version she'd consumed but it soothed her nerves the same, "I went to see Malcolm Tucker at his hotel."

Robbie almost choked on his drink. Jean Innocent was full of surprises, "To run him out of town or did you have some other reason?"

She relaxed into the chair, the pressure of the last few hours finally getting to her, "At first that was my plan. But when I got there I thought maybe I could coerce the man into telling me why he's really here in Oxford."

"And did you find out?"

Her head fell back in to the chair, "I thought so but now I think James might be right. Malcolm Tucker was probably five steps ahead of me. What I thought was him revealing his hand was probably him sending me chasing down some rabbit hole."

"You're a better detective than that Jean. What does your gut tell you?"

Jean looked up at the unexpected compliment from Robbie, "I think it might have been a bit of both. He was expecting me to come in telling him to get out of my town. When I didn't I think it unsettled him." She stopped for a moment running their conversation over in her head, "No, that's wrong, he was already unsettled when I got there. I think he was hoping someone would pick a fight so that he would have something to hold onto."

Robbie topped off his drink then made to do the same for her. She tried to wave him off, "You can stay here tonight." She nodded and moved her glass closer to him, "If it helps I think you have the truer measure of the man than James does."

"That's unlike you to side with me over James."

He nodded acknowledging her statement, "Sometimes it takes a bit of age to have the wisdom to see the different layers to people. James is good but he still has a basic belief that people are one-dimensional."

"And we're so old we know better?"

"Speak for yourself ma'am, I'm not old, just well-seasoned." They sat in companionable silence for a few moments before Robbie asked, "What's your take on why he's here?"

She shook her head, "Honestly, I don't know. The good news, I don't think he does either."

"Yes, I can see why that would be good news."

Jean smiled at him, "When I saw him with Laura earlier, there was a sense of, I don't know, almost malevolence about him. If you had asked me then I would have said that he wanted to harm her in some way."

"And now?"

"Now, now I think he's confused. Something happened between them, and before you ask I don't know what. But something happened that unsettled him."

Robbie looked into the night for a moment, "You don't think he wants to hurt her anymore?"

"I didn't say that Robbie. I said I think he's conflicted. And something tells me a conflicted Malcolm Tucker might be more dangerous than a committed Malcolm Tucker."

"What do I do Jean?"

"I have no idea. What happened earlier that made you call me?"

"We were in bed, I was kissing her and suddenly she pushed me away screaming not to touch her."

Jean leaned forward shaking her head, "Robbie I wish I didn't have to ask. Was there anything rough going on?"

"God, no Jean." He stood walking away from her, needing the distance.

"I didn't want to ask Robbie, I just got the sense that things were, shall we say, rather tempestuous between them. I thought maybe she had a flashback."

He turned to her, "You aren't implying he hurt her in some way." He walked back to his chair and sat, looking at Jean imploring her, "I asked about that when we first started dating."

She shook her head and took his hand, "No, I don't think he ever hurt her, not physically anyway. At least, she's never led me to believe that. I just meant I think they were a bit…" Jean paused not believing she was having this conversation with Robbie Lewis. She looked around searching for a word that wouldn't set him off again, "I just meant that I think they might have been a bit rambunctious."

Robbie stared at her. At first he'd been mortified at having this conversation now seeing her embarrassment he was amused, "No Jean, nothing rambunctious was happening. Not that I'm not up to it should the need arise."

Jean glared at him, "You spend entirely too much time with James."

"That might actually have been Laura's influence."

She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink, "Either way, it's unbecoming."

He laughed as he relaxed into his chair, "What can I say normally it would be James down here trying to calm me down. He's a much better sparring partner."

Jean cast a glance to the upstairs windows, "I've never really thought of James as the comforting type."

Robbie followed her eyes, "No, me either. Do you think they are just verbally jabbing one another?"

"That seems so comforting."

"She's not screaming, I guess that's something."

Jean smiled at him, "What are we supposed to do while he sorts Laura?"

Robbie stood took Jean's glass from her, "Jean, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you need some food."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Laura looked up when she heard the door. She was expecting either Robbie or Jean. James kicking the door shut while carrying a tea tray was the last thing she expected.

"James, what are you doing?"

James calmly set the tray on the dresser and went about pouring each of them a cup of tea, "I am making us a cup of tea. Apparently it's the thing you do at times like this." He handed her the cup of tea then picked up his. He motioned to the open side of the bed with his head, "Mind if I have a seat?"

She shook her head as she cautiously watched him, "I understand the tea what I don't understand is why you are here with it. Robbie said he was calling Jean."

James took a dainty sip of his tea, "He did. She had too much to drink and called me for a ride. After talking with her I decided that neither is equipped to help you."

Laura laughed. There was nothing else to do. James Hathaway was sitting in her bed drinking tea carrying on the most inane conversation. She cradled the cup he'd given her and laughed at the absurdity of it all.

James watched her. One of the many things he loved about Laura was her ability to smile, even laugh in the face of adversity. He watched as the laughter slowly relaxed her. Her body went from tense, bordering on scared, to comfortable, to serene.

As she finished her tea she studied him, "If you decided they are ill-equipped to help me does it mean you think you are?"

James smiled to himself as he drained the last dregs of tea from his cup, "As a matter of fact, I think I am the only member of our small group that is."

Trying to hide her mirth Laura looked away from James, "And what are your qualifications exactly? I've never known you to have a successful relationship James."

"Precisely, Robbie has only ever loved two women. The sainted Val…" Seeing her expression James held up a hand, "I'm not casting aspersions, if anything it's a compliment. I was his partner for almost ten years. How she never killed him in his sleep is beyond me?" Laura rolled her eyes at James, "And you are the other one. Both of you are far too good for him and make his life too easy."

"And Jean?"

"To my knowledge has only ever loved the elusive Mr. Innocent. And despite whatever might be going on with them these days, it has been mostly a very happy union."

Laura relaxed into the pillows next to James, "And you? What qualifications do you bring to the table?"

He laughed as he set his cup on the nightstand then took Laura's and put it aside, "I bring a whole host of failed relationships, tragic endings and dysfunctional dynamics."

"Dysfunctional dynamics? Such alliteration." Laura's mind wandered to Malcolm and his comment earlier.

"Laura, are you there?"

She shook her head, "Sorry, lost in a memory for a moment?"

"Memories of the ex? Those can be crippling."

Laura rolled her eyes, "And what do you know about crippling memories?"

"Let's see there was the man, who became a woman who seduced me, drugged me and then tried to set me on fire."

Laura exploded with laughter, "I don't mean to laugh James but…"

"When I put it that way?" She continued laughing and he joined her, "The crazy part, that's not even my worst date."

"James, that's not true. It can't be."

"Isn't it? Dying is easy. This living thing is difficult. All of the other women I have cared for have just broken my heart. I sometimes think it might be easier not to care."

Laura leaned back into the pillows next to James. She paused for a moment before resting her head on his shoulder. They lay there staring at the far wall, "What did Robbie tell you?"

James shook his head, "Nothing, I didn't give him the chance. I picked up the tea tray and came right up here. What do you want to tell me?"

"That's a loaded question James. What do you know?" She looked over at him, "Perhaps the better question is how long have you known?"

He continued to look straight ahead, sensing looking at her would make her uneasy, "I've known about your marriage since we had to investigate you. I looked up who Malcolm Tucker was then."

"That must have shocked you?"

Shaking his head he smiled, "Not as much as you would think. I can see it. He's brilliant, abrasive, determined, driven, focused. All qualities that could be used to describe you."

"What else do you know?"

"I know the marriage lasted longer than you led Robbie to believe."

She took a deep breath, exhaling noisily, "On paper only, the marriage was well and truly over within 3 years."

"You were married for fourteen years Laura."

"On paper James, merely on paper. Those last eleven years I was here in Oxford."

"Are divorces not allowed in Oxford?"

She glared at him but he simply looked ahead, "The first year I hoped he might come after me. I held out hope the Malcolm I knew…oh I don't know what I thought. Then it helped keep a few of the more thorough police officers away. I didn't plan on remarrying so I left it go."

"What made you finally go through with it?"

Tears filled her eyes and she smiled as she remembered why she finally sought a divorce, "Robbie came back."

James hid the smile her confession created, "You knew, even then?"

She shook her head, "I don't think I knew, I was just open to the possibility. So I contacted a solicitor and started the process."

"It took another four years?"

"Yes, well that wasn't my fault. Malcolm can be irksome under the best of circumstances."

"He fought the divorce?"

She shook her head, "In a manner, he had terms."

James paused for a moment, "Do you want to discuss those terms?" Laura looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. James cursed to himself, "We don't have to."

"He wanted one last weekend together."

James placed his hands over hers, "You don't have to tell me Laura."

"There's nothing to tell. All I wanted was to be free. If spending a weekend with him, having sex with him was the cost, then I was willing to pay it."

"It didn't happen?"

"We agreed to a time and place, I resigned myself to it."

"What happened, what changed?"

She turned her head to look at him, a harsh laughing escaping, "Believe it or not, those twins kidnapping me happened. Shortly after he showed up on my doorstep, papers in hand. He'd read about what happened and wanted to make sure I was OK. Said he needed to see it for himself. He kissed me, pressed the papers into my hand and walked away. I hadn't seen or heard from him until today."

James thought about what she'd shared with him. Suddenly it all made sense, "All of the stops and starts, almost beginnings only to go nowhere. That wasn't all Robbie was it?"

"No, it wasn't. There were a fair few times when he was ready and I ran away. I was scared. Scared he would find out about Malcolm, of who I was when I was with Malcolm. I was so relieved when he offered me a clean slate. It was like it all went away."

He knew how she felt. He had also found a clean slate with Robbie Lewis, "I thought coming back to Oxford after the accident was your clean slate."

She closed her eyes. Of course James knew about the accident, "You know about the accident?"

"I know about an accident. Everything else is just guesswork."

Her fingers clasped together, the knuckles almost white from the exertion, "Yes, but you're much cleverer than most people so your guesses are better."

"I haven't shared my guesses with anyone, in case you were wondering."

Laura nodded, "I know you haven't, you wouldn't. You would find it dishonorable." She turned to him tears filling her eyes, "I have to tell someone."

He pulled her to him, wrapping her in his arms, "I'll listen if you want but I think you need to tell Robbie."

Laura leaned into James seeking a bit of comfort. Tears fell silently down her cheeks. She marveled at this man who was tenderly holding her, providing her solace. They hadn't always gotten along but when she saw how much he loved Robbie she had fallen a bit in love with him herself. Somewhere over the years he had become as much her family as Robbie.

James tenderly stroked her back. He'd thought Laura an enigma from the first moment he'd met her. When he'd been first forced and then compelled to investigate her the fog had lifted. It was when he realized that she and Robbie belonged together. They were both broken and they needed each other to heal. He'd tried to help them along their way and in so doing had found the family he never knew he needed.

* * *

Robbie finished straightening the kitchen. He'd fixed a snack for Jean and himself. They'd both traded turns looking up the stairs curious as to what was happening upstairs.

Jean saw him looking at the stairs again and decided she needed to intervene, "Robbie, why don't I go up and check on them?"

He shook his head, "No I should go."

She touched him gently on the arm, "If Laura was scared earlier she may not be ready to see you. Let me go up."

"You said James was angry with you."

"He is but he cares too much for Laura to show that in front of her when she's this fragile."

Nodding his head he motioned for her to go up. He knew she was right. It killed him that he couldn't be there for Laura but he was grateful for their friends.

Jean climbed the stairs slowly. She'd told Robbie that James wouldn't show anything in front of Laura. But the closer she got to the closed bedroom door the less sure she was. She stood at the door listening, when she couldn't hear anything she slowly turned the doorknob and eased the door open.

She covered her mouth to stifle the gasp. Laura was curled into a ball surrounded by James' lanky frame. They were both sound asleep. Jean watched them sleep struck by how much they had each come to mean to her. Laura had become closer to her than her own sister in the last few years and James was almost a surrogate son. However you defined it they were family.

A noise behind her drew her attention. She was worried that Robbie might be angry. But one look at the expression on his face told her he was feeling much as she was. Family isn't who you share blood with it's who you share your life with. She smiled at Robbie standing in the doorway and motioned for him to leave. He stepped into the room, went into the closet and came out with a blanket. He handed it to Jean and together they covered Laura and James.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The next morning dawned quietly. Laura, who had always been an early riser, woke warm in her own bed. The memories of the night before had not caught up with her groggy mind. She stretched lightly and rolled over. The minute she saw James, rather than Robbie, the memories from the night before came slamming back into her mind.

She watched James sleep, unsurprised that even in repose he seemed worried. She wondered what he could be dreaming about that would cause him such concern. Without thinking she reached out to smooth the furrows on his brow. His eyes opened instantly, startled at first then he relaxed into serene smile, "Robbie Lewis is a lucky man to wake to you each morning."

Laura leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the forehead, "Thank you James."

"For what, telling you that Robbie is lucky? I suspect you already know that."

She shook her head smiling at him, "No, for being here last night. You were absolutely correct, you were the only one equipped to handle me."

"I usually am. But in case I ever need a reference, what drew you to this conclusion?"

"I just know how Robbie and Jean would have each handled me last night. Neither of their approaches would have worked."

James rolled to his back and put his hands behind his head, "Do tell. How would the dynamic duo have handled it?"

Laura moved closer to him and lay her head on his chest. James looked down at her surprised by the move. He smiled tenderly before putting his arm around her, "Robbie would have been concerned that he had hurt me in some way. He would have wanted to shelter me."

James smiled knowing that her assessment was accurate, "And you don't like being sheltered?"

"It's not that, he sometimes forgets that I am quite capable of taking care of myself. He would want to protect me."

Absentmindedly James stroked her arm, "You know that is more about how much he loves you than him thinking you can't take care of yourself?"

"I know but sometimes it can be suffocating."

"And how would Jean have handled it?"

Laura laughed, "Jean would have marshalled the forces, made a plan, given everyone a list and sent you all off to fight my battles. There would likely have been charts and graphs and she would have wanted reports in triplicate until the threat had passed." James tried not to laugh but the more he tried the more he shook. Laura looked up at him shocked to find tears streaming down his face, "It's not that funny James."

"It's hysterical. I can hear her saying it all. I can see Robbie wanting to lock you in a closet or rush you back to Manchester." He looked down at her and smiled, "And somehow they both fail to see how strong you are. That sometimes you just need someone to listen and not have a plan. You don't need to be fixed because you are quite magnificent just as you are."

She nodded at him as tears filled her eyes, "And that is why you were the perfect person for me last night. You didn't try to protect me or make a plan, you just let me be."

"In fairness to both of them, they don't know as much of the story as I do."

With a sad smile she buried her face in his chest, "I'm pretty sure that Robbie doesn't think I am all that magnificent at the moment."

Kissing her lightly on the head, he wrapped her in his arms, "He loves you Laura nothing is going to change that." She looked up at him with an unsure look on her face, "Even once you tell him the whole story, he's only going to love you even more."

"I scared him last night."

"To some extent we're all scared Laura. From what Jean told me as well as what you told me Malcolm Tucker is a bit of a loose cannon. He has some type of an agenda and it seems to be centered on you."

"I know you probably won't believe me but I don't think Malcolm will hurt me." She saw the skeptical look on James' face, "He could have hurt me years ago. He could have made me go away with him for a weekend. He probably could have made me fall in love with him all over again but when it came down to it, he did the honorable thing."

James raised an eyebrow at her, "I'm not sure honorable is a word I would use in relation to Malcolm Tucker."

"I would. I know it seems odd. Actually, you and Malcolm are similar in many ways. You both have your own code of honor. You never revealed my secrets. Malcolm went to prison rather than reveal his. The difference is you don't use those secrets to your advantage."

James stared at the ceiling unsure how he felt about being compared to Malcolm. He wondered if Laura was the most impartial judge, "Do you still love him?"

He felt her tense beside him. He could feel the breath she was holding. Finally, she released it, "Yes, I suspect I always will. He was my first love there is a power in that. I thought I'd been in love before but Malcolm taught me differently."

"Does Robbie know?"

Laura pushed up so that she was looking down at James, "I might love Malcolm, but the only person I am in love with is Robbie Lewis. I need you to know that James."

The fierceness with which she'd said it took his breath away. James had always been mesmerized by Laura's ability to go from perfectly calm to intense in the blink of an eye. She was stunning in her fierceness, "I wish I had ever stood a chance with you."

Laura blinked at his words, "What?"

James shook his head, stunned that the words had come out of his mouth, "I don't mean…that's not right, I meant the words Laura but I don't want you to think..." James sat up in the bed, his hands went through his hair.

Laura watched him struggle to find words. It was an unusual moment, James Hathaway always had a ready response. She softly touched his arm, "I understand James."

A bitter laugh escaped his mouth as he looked at her, "Well I'm glad one of us does. Care to explain it to me?"

"On paper we are the better match. Well educated, well read, witty, verbose."

He looked at her, "You thought about it."

She nodded, "I even admitted to Robbie once that you were quite dishy. I think I even once rated you a nine."

"All this time Dr. Hobson, you've been pining for me."

Laura laughed and slapped his shoulder, "No, you cheeky sod. Like I said there were aspects of you that reminded me of Malcolm. You had all of his good qualities without the bad boy edge."

"And yet you still chose Robbie?"

The smile she gave him lit up her face. James was happy to see her smile, "Yes, yes I did."

James feel back into the bed with his hand over his heart feigning injury. He looked up at her and smiled mischievously, "I would say it's your loss doctor. But I suspect the loss is mine."

Touching his cheek tenderly Laura leaned forward and kissed him, "Actually I think I won. I found the love of my life in Robbie and a dear friend in you."

They stared at one another for a moment each lost in the truth of the moment. James took her hand in his, "What are you going to do?"

"I am going to get dressed, go downstairs and tell Robbie a very long story."

"I think that is an excellent plan. And to help you with it, I'm going to get the Chief Super out of here."

James sat up then stood. Laura grabbed his hand and pulled him down to her before wrapping her arms around him, "Thank you James. Thank you for being here and for keeping my secrets for all these years."

James melted into her embrace, tears formed in his eyes as she whispered to him. He buried his head in her neck and said the most honest thing he could think of, "It's what family does Laura; it's what family does."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Sorry for the delay, crazy busy week at work and something had to give. This is a short chapter but sets up a few of the next chapters. Robson won't be the next chapter but it's coming soon. Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews, they mean the world to me. Especially the ones that think I am an evil genius. All I can say is you ain't seen nothing yet...**

James left Laura's bedroom quietly. He quickly used the bathroom before heading downstairs. Quiet voices from the kitchen told him Robbie and Jean were awake. He stood at the entrance of the kitchen and cleared his throat to get their attention, "You wouldn't happen to have more coffee would you?"

Robbie nodded and took another mug from the cabinet. He filled it, set it on the counter and pushed it to James, "How is she?"

James delayed by fixing his coffee then taking a sip, savoring the taste, "She's better. She's taking a shower."

Robbie looked toward the stairs, "I should go and check on her."

He started toward the stairs and James put his hand on Robbie's arm to stop him. He set the coffee down, reached into his pocket and removed his keys. Handing them to Jean he nodded to the door, "Can you give us a minute ma'am?"

Jean looked between the two then took the keys, "I'll wait in the car." James smiled at her, "Robbie, if you two need me I'll be at the office all day. Don't hesitate to ask."

Still looking up the stairs, Robbie nodded and waved, "Thanks Jean." He turned his head toward her, "For everything."

She nodded and headed for the door. Both men watched her walk away. Once he heard the door close James turned to Robbie, "Don't go to her. Let her come to you."

Robbie turned to James anger brewing in his expression, "Why shouldn't I go to her? She needs me."

James nodded acknowledging Robbie's claim, "She does, but right now she needs you to give her some space."

"Space, damn it James I gave her space last night. I spent the night on the sofa while you spent the night in my bed with her. What the hell else am I supposed to do?"

James paused for a moment. He didn't think Robbie was jealous but he also didn't want to push any buttons, "I can't give you all of those answers all I can give you is advice."

James could see the anger bubbling under the surface when Robbie glared at him, "Advice, from you? You're going to give me advice on relationships, on Laura?"

James' anger flared, "Yes, I am. She's my friend too, in some ways I am closer to her than I am to you. So, yes, I am going to give you some advice. And if you care for her as much as you claim you will take it."

It was James' anger that calmed Robbie. He was used to James being calm and detached but his incensed speech was like a wet blanket. He dropped his head, "I'm sorry. I can't be objective when it comes to her." He looked up at James, "Tell me what to do."

James smiled, "She has a story to tell you. But she needs to tell you in her way. Let her come to you, let her talk, listen."

"So I just wait here until she comes down to me?"

The look on Robbie's face almost made him feel sorry for Robbie, "Do you trust her?"

"With my life."

James squeezed Robbie's shoulder, "Then trust her to come to you."

"Can't you just tell me the story?"

James turned to the door, shaking his head, "It's not my story to tell and I don't know the whole thing."

"She didn't tell you?"

"No, she only wants to share it with you. I will tell you this, she's afraid."

"Of Malcolm?"

James smiled sadly, "She's afraid you will think less of her."

"There's nothing she could ever tell me that would do that."

James opened the door then turned back to Robbie, "I know, make sure she does."

* * *

Jean was leaning against the car when James came out. She watched him walk, gauging his mood. She forced herself to remain calm as he neared not sure of what she should do. He solved the problem, "Ma'am…" He saw the hurt look on her face, "Jean, I am sorry about last night. I might have been a bit unfair to you."

An apology was the last thing she expected from James, "It's OK James. We all just have Laura's best interest at heart. Is she OK?" She looked back at the house, "Are they OK?"

James leaned against the car next to her, "They will be. She has a story to tell him."

She looked at him from the corner of her eye, "What makes me think you know the story?"

Taking a deep breath he looked up to the bedroom window. He saw Laura and nodded at her, "I don't know all of it but I know enough to know they will be just fine."

"Care to share it with me?"

He held his hand out for the keys, "No, Jean, I don't. I will, however, buy you breakfast."

She smiled at him as she opened the door, "This is one of those 'not your secret to tell moments' isn't it?" He nodded as he opened his door, "And you think buying me breakfast is going to make that OK?"

"I'll make it a full breakfast." Their eyes met over the car and they both laughed as they got in the car.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**A brief chapter. One more before Robson...be patient kittens.**

Malcolm was awake, had been for some time. One of the many things he and Laura had in common was being early birds. He'd read three papers, eaten breakfast and was now pacing his hotel room. In the cold light of day he knew he'd made a mistake.

He had underestimated Laura and her support system. Of course, he'd known all about them. He had a dossier on all of them. The older man she'd secretly pined for all of those years. He'd received the divorce filing shortly after Robbie Lewis had returned from a mysterious placement in the BVI. The younger man James Hathaway, who had rescued her when she'd almost died. His information was old though and he hadn't known about her friendship with Jean. He didn't like surprises.

Laura had always been smart, in many ways she was smarter than him. However, she was no match for him when it came to battle strategy. He shouldn't have gone onto her territory; that was how surprises and mistakes happened. It wasn't a mistake he would make again.

By now they would have developed their own strategy. He suspected the visit from Jean had been their first salvo, a weak one at best. The more he reflected on it he didn't understand her visit. She hadn't threatened him if anything she seemed to be intent on appealing to his better nature.

He thought to his last words to her and cursed. It seemed Jean Innocent had appealed to his better nature. He shook his head, shaking the thought from his head. No, she hadn't, he had used her to take care of an errand. With that thought fixed in his mind he gathered his things and decided to head to the college. Perhaps getting out of this room would help to clear his head.

He drove to the college and parked. He still had two hours to kill before his lecture. He checked in with the office and dropped his things then decided to walk. Exercise might keep him occupied. If nothing else, nubile young co-eds might distract him.

He walked through the college trying to find anything that would occupy his mind. As he was turning a corner he heard a sound that made his heart stop. It was the sound of light, sparkling laughter. He quickened his step hoping to find the source of the laughter. Ahead along the corridor he saw a small blonde woman running to catch up with friends.

He knew it wasn't her but that brief glimpse took him back to when he could make Laura laugh like that.

_He was walking her home from their third date. She was telling him something about her day and was lightly laughing. He laughed because she was laughing but honestly he had no idea what she'd said. All he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to press her into the wall and kiss her until they were both too breathless to laugh._

_Her hand on his arm broke his thoughts. He looked around, surprised to see they had made it to her place, "Malcolm, are you ok?"_

_He looked down at her, stunned by her beauty. He fought the sappy smile that threatened, "I'm fine, just got distracted in my own head."_

_She looked at him oddly, "Is everything OK at work?"_

_This time the smile escaped him. It was sweet that she thought work was distracting him. Work never distracted him, it drove him with a singular focus but she somehow cut through that focus, "Work is fine Laura. I was just thinking about where I want to take you on our next date."_

_She smiled up at him, "You know you don't have to take me anywhere." She climbed the two steps to her front door and was suddenly eye to eye with him, "I'm happy staying in. There's a nice chippery just up the road. We could walk down grab something, come back here."_

_He looked down at her and smiled, "But I like taking you places Laura."_

_"The chippery is a place Malcolm."_

_"I know that but I like taking you nice places."_

_He squirmed under her gaze before finally looking away as she smiled at him, "I'm beginning to think you don't want to be alone with me."_

_"What? What makes you think that?" He stared at her panic setting in, how could she think he didn't want to be alone with her? He searched for something to say, she had to know how much he loved her. He almost laughed at the thought that he was speechless. How did this woman do this to him?_

_He finally met her eye. All words in his mind went away, all he could think about was kissing her. All he could see were her lips, he imagined what they would feel…_

_Her lips on his stopped all thought. Her tiny, strong hands were grasping the lapels of his jacket pulling him to her. Just as his brain registered what was going on and his arms moved to pull her to him she pushed him away, "Give me a call when you decide you want to be alone with me."_

_He watched her step toward her house and screamed out, "Friday, the little chippery down the street."_

_She looked over her shoulder and smiled as she opened the door, "I look forward to it."_

Malcolm fell back against the wall. That overwhelming feeling of wanting to kiss her still hadn't gone away. He wondered if it ever would.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Lecturing before a theatre full of eager young minds helped him find the focus he'd needed to push Laura from his mind, at least from the forefront. Like most brilliant people Malcolm Tucker never thought about just one thing. While he was talking, debating, lecturing, arguing, thoroughly enjoying himself, his mind was formulating a game plan.

He finished the lecture with a flourish and was instantly surrounded by a bevy of students wanting to pick his brain, curry favor. It was a salve for his wounded ego. He chatted with a few of the ones he deemed more promising as he exited the building.

Even as distracted as he was by the coterie lingering as he walked towards his car, his brain registered the threat. A tingling on the back of his neck let him know he was being observed in a non-casual way. As casually as he could he looked around the courtyard. It didn't take him long to spot the source of the threat.

He thought briefly of simply heading to his car, keeping a few of the menagerie around, knowing his watcher wouldn't want an audience. But just as quickly as the idea occurred it was dismissed. His brain had taken in the new information and decided it could make it work into his game plan.

Smiling at his new fan club he made an excuse about needing to go back to the lecture hall. A few offered to come with him but he charmingly declined. He made mental notes of those, they might be useful in the future. Once they had wandered away he casually made his way back to the lecture hall. He feigned an air of confusion as if he was looking for something.

From the corner of his eye he saw his watcher take notice, take an interest. He smiled to himself. His watcher was making it entirely too easy. It was like taking candy from a baby. He entered the lecture hall deliberately letting the door close behind him. He set his things on the desk at the front of the room, sat in the chair, propped his feet on the desk and waited.

He didn't have to wait long. He heard the door open and waited making the watcher come to him. As the person drew nearer Malcolm smiled charmingly, "Step into my parlor."

James took a seat in the front row, "Does that make me the fly in your little game?"

"I think you are probably just about as useful as a fly. And if your tidy little gang has sent you out to chat with me they must agree."

Casually crossing his legs James blandly looked at Malcolm, "What makes you so sure they know I'm here?"

"Because you are the faithful little choir boy. The loyal sergeant to Robbie Lewis, the deceitful little spy for Jean Innocent, the devoted little Boy Scout that saved Laura Hobson's life and helped push her and the Inspector together."

James paused for a moment, wondering how much Malcolm actually knew and how much was speculation. He decided to push him, "I guess that's what being in prison does for you. Gets you outdated information."

"Oh it's not so outdated, you might be an Inspector in title but we both know you'll always be a sergeant. You even had to have the Inspector come back for a bit to help you cut your teeth. And let's be honest, a woman like Jean Innocent wouldn't have gone to all of that trouble if she didn't feel like she owed you something." Malcolm watched James, he could see the seeds of doubt starting to form so he pushed, "It's true about saving Laura though, wait no it isn't. It was the real Inspector that figured that out. You just jumped into the grave while he went off to play hero."

James tried to maintain a neutral look on his face. All of Malcolm's words seemed to hit home. He forced himself to take a deep breath, he relaxed his hands they had, unknowingly, clenched into fists.

Malcolm watched all of the physical cues from James and laughed, "You know now that I think about it you might be right. I mean you were even out of town when the Inspector and the lovely Doctor declared their love for one another. Perhaps you were just in the way all of that time."

"I know what you are trying to do."

Malcolm stretched, enjoying his game, "What is it you think I am doing?"

"You're trying to make me doubt…"

"Doubt what? You came to me. I'm the innocent bystander in all of this."

James stood, anger finally winning, "Innocent? Is that what you call barging into Laura's office yesterday and disrupting her life?"

"I did nothing of the sort. I stopped by my ex-wife's office yesterday to let her know I was in town. I wanted to apologize for that horrible reporter stalking her after I was released. I asked nicely at the desk and they let me wait in her office."

"That's your version of the story."

Malcolm shrugged, "It's not a version; it's what happened. We had a somewhat volatile marriage. Since I'm going to be in town I thought it best to let her know. That way there are no nasty surprises if we bump into each other. I was trying to be courteous."

"Courteous, that's not generally a word that people associate with you."

Nodding Malcolm smiled, "Probably not. I have a curious question for you." He waited for James to nod before continuing, "Why are you here? Is it to warn me to stay away from my wife?"

James glared at him, "She's your ex-wife. And, yes, I am here to tell you to stay away from her."

Malcolm sat up in his chair and leaned towards James, "You sound more like a jealous lover. Is there something between the two of you?" Malcolm could barely contain his glee when he saw the look on James' face. "You have a thing for her don't you, unrequited I bet."

Shaking his head James answered, "No, I don't have a thing for her. We are friends, Robbie and I are friends and Jean and I are friends. I don't like seeing my friends hurt."

"You have a thing for her. I can see it. She's brilliant, funny, beautiful. Lord knows she's closer in age to you than the aged Inspector. But she never saw you, did she? You were just the faithful sidekick, good for a drink or two here or there but never more. It must have killed you to have jumped into that grave and held her so close. To have comforted her only to have her turn around and fall into the arms of the Inspector. That's when she started falling in love with him you know."

James smiled triumphantly, "You don't know everything. She was in love with him when he came back from the BVI."

"No, that's when she finally decided to divorce me. She didn't start falling in love with him until he saved her from those twins. You might have been in the grave with her but she knew how and why you got there in time."

"You can't possibly know that? You hadn't seen her in years before then."

Malcolm smiled, he watched the seeds of doubt wind through the mind of James Hathaway. He was somewhat disappointed. He'd expected him to be a more worthy adversary, "Can't I? Just because we didn't live in the same city doesn't mean I didn't know what was going on. She was still my wife."

"On paper only. She left you and clearly you didn't want her because you never came after her."

"Is that what she told you? That I never came after her. How very revisionist of Laura."

James looked at him skeptically, "She told me you came here to give her the divorce papers."

Malcolm stood and picked up his bag. One of his greatest strengths was knowing when to make an exit, "One thing you should probably know about Laura Hobson. She may look innocent but she is as duplicitous as they come."

Malcolm walked casually past James towards the exit. At the door he turned back to James, "I'll tell you like I told Jean last night. I might not be the guilty party you want to paint me as." Using his back to push open the door he backed out of the room leaving James alone and questioning everything he knew.

**Hate him all you want... He's a lot of fun...**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**I know I promised that Robson was next but I lied. OK - I didn't lie but felt that a few other things needed to happen before we check back in with Robbie & Laura. I am fairly certain they will be next, 80% maybe 70% ok 50/50.**

James stood in the empty room staring at the door. He was tempted to run after the man. He wanted to hit him, hurt him. How dare he say those things about Laura? How dare Malcolm Tucker try to twist his feelings for Laura into something salacious?

Long, angry strides took him to the door. As he moved to push it open he stopped, what was he angry about? Was he angry because the man had recognized he had unresolved feelings for Laura? Or was he angry because he realized he might not know everything about Laura? That thought drew him up short.

He ran his hands through his hair. He had to get her out of his mind. He wasn't in love with her, "Damn it." He slammed his hand into the wall and pushed the door open. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his packet of cigarettes and shook one out. Looking at the cigarette he cursed, crushing it and the packet in his hand before violently throwing them in the nearest bin.

Cigarettes had been how he'd bonded with Laura. He remembered the first time he'd caught her out back sneaking a cigarette. She'd begged him not to tell Robbie. He'd agreed if she promised not to lecture him about smoking. It was the first secret he'd kept for her.

He pressed his head into the cool stone of the wall. Why had he kept all of her secrets over the years? And there were a lot of secrets, maybe Malcolm was right, maybe Laura Hobson wasn't as innocent as he thought. Maybe she wasn't the victim, he only had her word.

He pictured her staring up at him the night before. Blue eyes brimming with tears, "_I have to tell someone._" He'd fallen for it, hook line and sinker. She hadn't planned on telling anyone anything. She'd just wanted to make sure he would continue to keep her secrets. God he was a fool. Why hadn't he seen through it? He pushed off from the wall headed to his car. Angry with himself for believing her, angry with himself for protecting her in front of Robbie. Angry with Laura for fooling him.

Malcolm watched James wrestle with his own demons. He smiled to himself as he witnessed James lose the battle. A kinder man might have felt some remorse. A better man wouldn't have shamelessly picked at James' insecurities. Malcolm Tucker was neither of those things. He was a man who came out on top. You didn't get there being kind or even better. He wanted his life back, he wanted all that he had lost. If he had to hurt a few insignificant people along the way, so be it.

* * *

Jean walked through the station reading through the documents she'd been given at her status meeting. Her attention was drawn away from the briefing to shouting in another room. She stepped into her outer office and raised an eyebrow at her assistant, "Connie?"

"It's Inspector Hathaway ma'am. He's been on a bit of a tear all morning."

"James, are you sure?"

Connie nodded at her, "Yes ma'am. I'm not sure who he's screaming at now though. All of the sergeants and DCs bailed out of the station. It's probably some unsuspecting PC catching his wrath now."

"Any idea what he's on about?" As Connie shook her head Jean handed her the stack of papers and proceeded down the hall. She watched from the doorway as James berated the young woman. She stepped into the room and smiled kindly at the young woman, "Inspector Hathaway, my office, now." James turned at the steely voice, anger flashing across his face. Jean met his angry gaze and still smiling said, "PC Adams, I feel confident that Inspector Hathaway is simply having a bad day and hasn't meant a word of his little tirade. However, if you'd like to file a formal complaint against him I will certainly understand and fully support you. Please see Connie, she will be able to help you with the paperwork."

James gaped at her before striding out of the room. The young woman looked at Jean not sure who she was more afraid of, "Ma'am that won't be necessary. He's just having a bad day, he's generally a pretty good bloke."

Jean smiled at her, "That's very kind of you. If he hasn't apologized within 24 hours, please let me know." Jean gave her one more smile then followed after James. The annoyed look on Connie's face told her that James had followed her orders, "Connie, why don't you take a break?"

"Are you sure?"

She looked into her office to James pacing back and forth, "Yes, something tells me Inspector Hathaway isn't going to want any witnesses to what is about to happen to him."

Connie laughed. She had witnessed the full wrath of Jean's temper. For a single moment she spared a thought of sympathy for James. His cursing inside the inner office squelched that thought, "Would you like me to pick up lunch?"

Jean nodded, "Yes, please." She watched Connie leave then closed the outer office door before turning to her inner office and walking into it. She closed her office door and watched James pace, "Care to tell me what all of this is about?"

James pointed to the bullpen where she'd found him, "Why did you do that?"

Walking past him she perched on the edge of her desk, crossing her ankles daintily, "Why did I do what?"

"You pretended to throw me to the wolves. You knew she wouldn't do anything the way you phrased that."

Jean tilted her head questioningly, "Why did I keep the PC from filing harassment charges against you?"

"Yes, why did you? Why did you bring me back to the force? Why did you bring Robbie back to help me transition to being an Inspector? Why have you spent all of these years protecting me?"

Jean raised her chin as she fixed her gaze on James. She could feel her own anger rising. Her voice lowered to a flat, even level, "I'm not sure what you are implying Inspector."

"Did you take me under your wing all those years ago to have a faithful lapdog? I was your little station snitch in those early years. Did you feel like you owed me something? Has this all been your way of repaying you?"

Jean took a deep breath and counted to ten. She had no idea what was going on in his head but she refused to rise to the bait, "I will answer your questions in no particular order. I, as you say, took you under my wing all those years ago because I knew you wouldn't fit in. Yet at the same time I knew you could be outstanding with the right guidance. Did I benefit because you fed me certain information? Yes, I did. Did I use that? Yes, I did. I am a political creature James. You don't get to my position without being one." James seemed to cave in on himself. He hadn't expected her to admit to using him. Jean stood and advanced on him, "I brought you back to the force, as well as Robbie, for the same reason. You close cases James, you make me look good. I like you but don't ever think my personal feelings for you will override your usefulness to me."

James sat heavily in the nearest chair, "So I am just a lapdog, your faithful little snitch that you control like a puppet on a string?"

Jean laughed as she sat across from him, "I've no idea where you got that idea. I knew the day you told me you wanted to be Robbie Lewis' bagman that you were no one's puppet. I always saw potential in you James but it was then I saw greatness."

James stared at her, the last few minutes' conversation playing through his head. He looked desperately at Jean, "I'm so sorry. I don't where that came from."

"James what's really going on here?"

"Do you feel like we are being used as pawns?"

"By whom James?"

He shrugged and she could see his anger building again, "Dr. Hobson? Here we are all concerned about her. You head off to a hotel to confront her ex-husband. I spend the night in her bed comforting her. Robbie's lost and confused because she won't speak to him. Why do we do it?"

"Because we're her friends, her family James, that's why."

He stood stalking furiously through her office, "So we just blithely keep her secrets, protect her."

"What secrets are you keeping for her James?"

"All of it, her marriage, who her husband was, everything."

Jean crossed her legs forcing herself to stay seated, "Has she told you any of these secrets James?"

He turned to look at her, "No, of course not, you know she hasn't."

"Has she asked you to keep these secrets?"

"Well if she didn't tell the secrets how could she have asked me to keep them?" Jean smiled benignly as the realization that James had created his own problem dawned to him. He pressed his head into the wall.

Jean let a few minutes passed before she spoke, "You can't hold your decisions against her James."

"You aren't angry at her?"

"Why would I be angry with her?"

"For all of the lies."

"James?" She waited until he turned to look at her, "What lies has she ever told you? Because, to my knowledge, she has never lied to me."

"She never told Robbie the truth."

"And that is between her and Robbie not you and her." She motioned for him to sit, "I think your real problem is she fell off that pedestal you put her on all of these years." She raised an eyebrow, "Or was she perhaps pushed?"

He looked at the floor, "I went to see Malcolm Tucker this morning."

Jean nodded, their conversation finally making sense, "Let me guess he said all sorts of partially truthful things that wound their way into your mind and pushed all of your inferiority buttons."

James hung his head as the realization that he'd been duped set in, "He said that he wasn't the guilty party we think he is."

Jean nodded, "He's probably right."

James stared at him, "You're on his side."

Rolling her eyes Jean stood and walked to her desk, "Don't be stupid." She reached into her desk drawer and pulled out two packages. She handed one to James before she sat again, "No one is completely innocent or completely guilty."

"Laura's your friend."

Jean motioned to the package she'd handed him, "Eat. Yes, she is my friend but I've also been married for a very long time. Trust me there is plenty of blame to go around."

"You don't know the whole the truth." He took a bite of the granola bar she'd handed him."

"I dare say you don't either. You've always had a soft spot where Laura is concerned. I would even wager that at one time it was more than friendship." The look James gave her confirmed her guess, "People like Malcom Tucker are skilled at reading people and manipulating what they see to their advantage."

"I guess so."

"James you went off to meet him confident in the knowledge that you would be the smartest person in the room. What you didn't factor is he is equally brilliant but he's also a borderline sociopath. Not a quality that you share."

James' shoulder slumped, "What did she see in him?"

Jean paused for a moment thinking of the nicest way to say what needed to be said, "Are you asking because you're worried for Robbie or because you want to know why she never picked you?"

James tried to hide how her question affected him before finally giving up and answering honestly, "Both."

"Malcolm is brilliant, funny, ambitious…all the things women look for. When you are in his spotlight it's like the rest of the world ceases to exist. It is a singular focus that is very flattering when you are the object of it."

"And Robbie?"

Jean smiled, "Because he's brilliant, funny and completely unassuming. He saw Laura for who she was and loved her anyway. He never expected her to be anyone but who she is."

"And me?"

"The only thing I can offer, James, is it's hard for someone to notice you when you put them on a pedestal."

James filed her comments away to examine when he was alone, "How do we protect her?"

Jean shook her head, "We don't." At his look she smiled, "Malcolm will continue to pick us apart. He will find all of our weaknesses and have us at each other's throats. Look what he did to you today."

"So we just abandon her, leave her to fight her own battle?"

"It's the one thing he won't expect. You and I have set the stage, unwittingly, that her friends will fight her battles. It will completely unnerve him if she shows up on his doorstep."

James laughed as he realized the simplicity of Jean's plan, "Give him what he wants. Robbie will never go along with it."

"It's not really Robbie's choice, is it?"

"And who is going to make this recommendation?"

Jean stood and returned to her desk. Putting her glasses on as she sat she smiled at James, "I suspect she will come to the conclusion on her own. But if she doesn't, I'll talk to her."

James stood recognizing that he was being dismissed, "And we just wait in the meantime?"

Jean looked at him over her glasses, "Actually, I'm going to wait. You will be apologizing to everyone you offended, insulted or otherwise annoyed today. I'd start with PC Adams if I were you. I understand she likes hazelnut in her coffee."

Hiding his smile James walked to the door, "Yes ma'am."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Here it is, Robson. As a small note, this chapter happens concurrently with the prior three chapters. Laura hasn't been locked in the bathroom for hours.**

Laura looked in the mirror not quite able to meet her own eyes. There weren't many times in her life that she'd been ashamed of her actions but it felt like they were all linked to Malcolm Tucker. She thought back to that night at Robbie's flat when he'd asked her who she was. She should have told him the whole story then. She should have given him the chance to walk away, to run away.

If he'd walked away then she might have been able to recover. When he walked away now, it would devastate her. She had no one to blame but herself. She should have shared everything with him. Now when she told him it would be a betrayal. In some ways, it had always been a betrayal. She turned away from the mirror and stepped into the shower. There was no sense in delaying the inevitable.

* * *

Robbie puttered around the downstairs waiting for Laura. James' words echoed in his brain, "_Don't go to her. Let her come to you_."

He had agreed but hadn't realized how hard just waiting would be. It worried him that Laura believed she could tell him something that would make him stop loving her. He was disappointed in himself. Clearly he hadn't done a good enough job loving her if she thought there was anything she could do or say that would make him not love her.

He was pacing the living room when he heard the bedroom door open. He felt certain that this wasn't James had in mind when he said let her come to you. He grabbed a book and sat on the sofa. Opening the book he feigned a nonchalance he didn't feel.

* * *

Laura stood at the top of the stairs. She took a deep breath and held it. She hoped this wouldn't be the end of her relationship with Robbie but she would understand if he walked away and never looked back. She wasn't sure if she could forgive herself, much less expect him to forgive her.

Exhaling the breath she started down the stairs. At the bottom she looked around, seeing the light in the living room she turned in that direction. Robbie was relaxed on the sofa reading a book. Her breath caught at this picture of domestic calmness. She watched him for a moment burning this image into her mind. Finally with a deep breath she stepped into the room, "Good Morning."

Robbie looked up from his book and was heartbroken. He could see the anguish on her face. Putting the book aside he smiled at her, "Good morning, how about I make us some breakfast?"

"You haven't eaten?"

"No, James told me you were getting dressed, I wanted to wait for you."

Biting on her lower lip she nodded, "Thank you, breakfast would be nice. Can I help?"

Robbie stood and approached her tentatively, he wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her everything would be fine but after last night he was afraid, "I don't need help but I wouldn't say no to some company." He turned his body so he could slide past her in the doorframe without touching her. He didn't want to scare her again.

Laura watched him try to maneuver his way as far from her as he could and she almost cried. She'd caused this, she'd broken the easy comfort between them. She took a step back letting him have more room looking away from him as he walked past her.

Robbie saw her pull away then look away from him. His heart seized. It killed him that she was scared of him. He looked at her longingly for a moment before turning toward the kitchen. He held his breath hoping that she would follow him.

He entered the kitchen and started pulling things from the refrigerator. He didn't want to turn to see if she'd followed him so he raised his voice, "Do you have time for a bigger breakfast or do you just want toast and tea?"

Laura flinched at the edge of the kitchen. With a low voice she answered, "I have time."

Robbie turned to her, surprised that she had followed, "Sorry to have yelled, I wasn't sure you had followed me."

"It's OK." They stared at one another for what felt like an eternity. Finally Laura stepped into the kitchen, "I'll set the table."

Robbie set about making breakfast making sure he kept his distance. James' words echoing over and over in his head. The fear on her face the night before playing on a constant reel. He would let her come to him.

They ate breakfast in silence the only words spoken when Laura insisted on cleaning the kitchen. Robbie returned to his book. The words danced across the page. He was simply unable to focus as long as things were broken between them.

Laura cleaned the kitchen. She knew she needed to start the conversation but she didn't know how. How do you tell the man you love you aren't who he thinks you are? How do you break his heart? She looked around the kitchen at the home they had made together. This might have been her house but it wasn't until he moved in that it became her home. She couldn't tell him here, she couldn't destroy the sanctity of their home.

Robbie looked up when he heard her walk into the room. He could see the tension in her small frame. The only thing he wanted to do was take it from her, to hold her until she understood she was his home and nothing could change that. After Val died he'd been certain he would never have a home again. Laura had changed his thinking, she'd given him a place to call home. What would he do if she didn't want it with him anymore?

"Would you like to take a walk with me?"


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"Would you like to take a walk with me?"

Not wanting to appear too eager, lest he startle her, Robbie made a big pretense of putting his bookmark back into his book and setting it on the side table. He smiled up at her, "Do you want me to?" He waited anxiously until she nodded, "Then let's go for a walk."

They made their way out of the house and fell into an awkward gait. Their hands were stuffed into their pockets. Robbie wanted to say something but he honored his promise to James and waited.

Laura watched Robbie from the corner of her eye, she didn't know how to start this conversation. She took a deep breath and jumped, "Do you have any regrets?"

Robbie looked at her shocked by the question, "About us?"

"No," she shook her head then shrugged. With a smaller voice, "Maybe."

He kept walking, his eyes fixed ahead, "The only regrets I really have are around not spending more time at home when the kids were small." He took a quick look at her. Her face was neutral but he could see the tension in her body, "What about you Laura, what regrets do you have?"

She stopped walking. Robbie took a few more steps before he realized she wasn't there. He turned back to her and was overcome by the look of agony on her face, "So many."

He watched the tears stream down her face and he was helpless, "Do you have any regrets about us?" He held his breath waiting for her answer.

Her head fell so she could look away from him, "Only one."

His heart fell, she regretted them, their relationship, "Laura, I'm sorry if I've given you any reason to regret being with me."

She looked up and reached for him, "Oh God, no, never about you Robbie, never about you."

He took her hand and pulled her to him. He cupped her cheek, "Then what is it Laura? You can tell me."

She closed her eyes, "Do you remember that first night at your flat?"

Robbie smiled as the memory of that night flooded into his mind. He stroked his thumb across her cheek, "It's one of my best memories." Laura blushed and nodded, "You have a regret about that night?"

She looked up at him and saw the concern, "Not about that night, not about what happened, what started."

"Then what is it Laura?"

"You asked me who I was that night. I told you about Malcolm but I didn't tell you everything. You offered me a clean slate and I took it. I should have told you everything, given you the chance to walk away."

He kissed her tenderly, "Laura, you don't have to tell me anything. I don't care about any of it. All I need to know is do you still love me?" She nodded as tears streamed down her face, "Do you still want to be with me?" She buried her face in his chest and he felt her nod against his chest. Wrapping his arms around her he kissed the top of her head softly, "Then I don't need to know anything else and I'm not going anywhere."

Laura dissolved into tears. Robbie tightened his arms around her lending her all of the support she needed.

She wrapped her arms around him inhaling his scent. She couldn't lose him. She pushed away from him, holding him at arm's length, "You may not need to know but I need to tell you."

Robbie smiled, somehow understanding. He offered her his arm smiling down at her, "Would you like to take a walk with me?"


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Sorry for the delay. Real life has been exceptionally busy of late. The good news the board meeting I have been planning for a month was Tuesday and was a rousing success. Additionally, I have transitioned that project off to a new employee so now I only have two jobs to do. That means I should have more time to write (fingers crossed). Hope you enjoy this quick chapter.**

Laura took Robbie's arm and they started walking. They weren't quite in step but they were closer. Robbie reached over and squeezed her hand. He needed her to feel comfortable with him.

She squeezed his arm then took a deep breath, "When I told you about my marriage, I led you to believe that the marriage was brief and an omnishambles."

Robbie nodded, "Tell me."

"Fourteen years, I was married for fourteen years." She watched Robbie from the corner of her eye and thought she saw a brief tightening around his eyes, "We weren't together most of that time. We were together for three years and we were happy."

Robbie controlled his facial expression. He didn't care about the length of the marriage all he cared about was Laura's well-being, "And the other eleven years?"

"I was here, hiding."

"From him?"

She nodded, "In a manner of speaking." She paused not quite sure where to start, "I wasn't hiding from Malcolm, he knew where I was. I was hiding from the tempest I knew filing for divorce would cause."

"Why did you eventually file for divorce?"

She pulled on his arm stopping their walk, "You came back from the BVI."

"You divorced him because of me?"

She laughed, "Not you specifically but it was the first time that I thought I might like to spend my life with someone. Not you particularly, at least not then."

"I was a mess Laura, what made you want that?"

She smiled at him, "You weren't as bad as you think." She lightly touched his chest over his heart, "Despite all of your sadness it was clear how much you still loved Val. I remember thinking I want to be loved like you loved her. And I knew as long as I was legally married to Malcolm I never would be."

Robbie covered her hand with his holding against his chest, "I know I asked before did he hurt you physically Laura?"

She shook her head, "No, never. I wouldn't have stood for it."

"So why did it end?"

"Before I tell you why, I need you to know I loved Malcolm very deeply. In some ways I will always love him. But none of that changes how happy you have made me or how much I love you. I might have loved him first but you made me understand what it meant to be loved."

He pulled her to him, touched by what she'd shared, "Rather than tell me why it ended; why don't you tell me how it started?"

She looked up at him, "Are you sure?"

"Laura, you know everything there is to know about me. I think it's time I knew the same about you."

"What do you want to know?"

He shook his head, "I'll listen to anything you want to tell me. Why don't you start at the beginning?"

Laura took his arm again and started walking. As they walked she told him the story of how they met. She told him how she'd fallen in love almost instantly and how she'd waited until Malcolm told her he loved her before she told him.

Robbie was fascinated with her story. He could see the joy on her face as she relived the memories. He smiled at himself impressed that Malcolm had held out twelve weeks before telling her he loved her. Something told him that Laura in her mid-20s would have been irresistible. She still was at 50. He wasn't sure he could have held out that long.

His mind couldn't help but draw parallels to the beginnings of their relationship. It still amazed him that she had waited so long for him to be ready.

She told him about their simple wedding in Scotland. Family and a few friends gathered on a beach at sunset. He could see her bathed in sunlight, hair blowing, happy, "Do you have photos?"

Laura stared at him, "You want to see photos of my wedding?"

"I bet you were a beautiful bride. You've never really shared photos from when you were younger."

"I used to keep a lot of them around the house. But when you find out one of your closest friends betrayed you the way Ligeia did you don't really want those memories around. All of the rest of my pictures included Malcolm in some capacity."

"Did you get rid of them?"

Laura shook her head, "No, I just put them away."

"I would like to see them Laura, all of them."

"OK, I will show them to you."

He watched her shiver and pulled her to him, "Are you cold?" She nodded against his chest, "Let's go home and get warm. Then you can finish telling me your story." He felt her stiffen in his arms, "What is it Laura?"

"It's our home Robbie and I don't want it destroyed by my story."

He lifted her chin so she was looking at him, "You are my home Laura wherever you are is home. Nothing you tell me is going to change that." He watched as she closed her eyes and almost imperceptibly nodded, "Let's get you warm."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**Sorry for the delay, the story took a bit of a turn on me and I had to have a long conversation with a few of the characters and get them back in line. I think I wrangled them but as often happens these stories often have a mind of their own. Here is the (mostly) cleaned up version.**

They backtracked quickly to their home. Once inside Robbie turned to Laura, "How about some tea?"

She nodded, "That would be nice. I'm going to grab a sweater. Can I get you anything?"

Robbie stroked her cheek gently, "No, get yourself warm. I'll bring the tea into the sitting room. Then you can tell me more." He saw the look of uncertainty on her face, "What if I promise to share a secret or two with you?"

She looked up at him, "You have secrets Robbie?"

He grinned at her, "There's only one way to find out Dr. Hobson."

She pushed up and kissed him lightly, "I look forward to it."

He watched her walk away relaxing for the first time in twenty four hours. Her admission the marriage had lasted longer than he'd thought had surprised him. He didn't care about the length of the marriage all he cared about was her. He set about making the tea thinking about the Laura he'd first met.

To him she had always seemed so open and carefree. Looking back he could see the cracks in her façade. When Val was still alive he'd known one or two of the men she had dated. They had always been aggressive bordering on obnoxious. Clearly she had a type. For a moment he wondered what she saw in him. He'd never been one of those guys. He shook his head trying to dispel the thought.

* * *

Laura stood staring at the shelves in her office. Robbie said he wanted to see her pictures but she wasn't sure she wanted to see them. It wasn't just the pictures of her life with Malcolm it was the life she had before Malcolm. Being taken by those twins had definitely scarred her but learning she was betrayed by one of her closest friends had damaged her even more.

She pulled her sweater tighter around her before reaching up to grab several boxes. She knew the 3 boxes she wanted. They didn't by any means represent all of her former life but they contained the best sampling. Setting the boxes on her desk she opened one and rifled through the pictures until she found the one she wanted.

Tears formed in her eyes and slid down her cheeks as she closed her eyes. She slipped the picture to the bottom of the box before replacing the lid. Picking up all three boxes she headed to the sitting room.

She settled on the sofa and placed the boxes next to her. She stacked them then restacked them. She hoped she could control the story by controlling the flow of the pictures. Would he just want to go through them on his own or would he want her to provide commentary? She wasn't sure she could do this.

With a deep breath she opened the top box. Her breath caught in her throat. The top photo was Ligeia and Peter. Her hand hovered over it but she couldn't bring herself to touch it. It was from their last year at university. She briefly wondered what had happened between them.

She knew James believe that Peter had assaulted Ligeia. She couldn't reconcile the thought with the Peter she had known. But perhaps with all of the evil those twins had wrought their conception had also started with an act of violence.

Whether it was a simple mistake or something more malevolent it had all lead to what happened to her. She couldn't forgive even as she had worked so hard to forget. Ligeia had unwittingly put her life in danger. She could forgive her for not sharing the confidence but she couldn't forgive the deception.

Her mind spiraled to the days after Ligeia's funeral. All of the lies had been revealed and she had reeled at the betrayal. When Robbie had shown up at the funeral she had hoped he would be her anchor. For a brief time he had been.

* * *

Robbie stood at the entrance to the sitting room holding the tea tray. He had been observing Laura for the last minute. He'd seen the tension in her body as she opened the box. Her hand still hovered over the top of it. He didn't want to startle her so he took a few steps back so he was out of sight before calling to her, "Laura, would you like a snack to go with your tea."

Laura lifted her head towards the doorway. Robbie's voice broke her memories stopping her from spiraling into the memories. She pressed her hands to her eyes wanting to wipe the memories away. She took a calming breath and smiled, "No, I'm good."

He rounded the corner and smiled at her before placing the tray on the table in front of her, "Too late, I put a few biscuits on because I think you need a snack."

This time the smile made it all the way to her eyes, "More like you wanted them."

He poured her tea then handed her the cup, "Perhaps but I am willing to share with you."

They settled into the cushions with the boxes between them. Laura couldn't help but think that the memories contained in those boxes might be a wall they couldn't scale, "Tell me a secret Robbie."

**Yes, Robbie has a couple of secrets to share and we have a few surprise guests that will make an appearance.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**Robbie's secret revealed.**

They settled into the cushions with the boxes between them. Laura couldn't help but think that the memories contained in those boxes might be a wall they couldn't scale, "Tell me a secret Robbie."

He smiled at her, mesmerized as always at his good fortune. He'd suspected she would ask him to reveal his secrets. He wasn't sure how much of a secret it was but if it would put her at ease he would tell her every detail of his life.

"I hope I didn't oversell it. It's less of a secret and more of a story."

She looked down at her cup smiling to herself. She'd known that Robbie didn't really have secrets but just hearing his voice, knowing that he was here was enough to settle her nerves, "Tell me."

He nodded, "Do you remember when you first moved here? I think it was about four or five months after you started, there was a birthday party at the White Horse."

Laura thought for a moment, casting her mind back to those early days, "Vaguely, I'll be honest I was in a haze for most of that first year."

"Well there was a birthday party and it was quite a blow-out. You were there and you were on a date with DCI Johnson."

She groaned looking down at her hands, "That makes the picture somewhat clearer."

Robbie watched her. He hadn't meant to make her feel bad. Reaching over the boxes he lightly touched her shoulder, "Laura." She looked at him, "I didn't say his name to make you feel bad. It was just as a frame of reference."

She nodded, "I understand. That was just an unhappy time in my life, he was a by-product."

Robbie laughed causing Laura to stare at him. He reached up to touch her cheek softly, "I wasn't laughing at you. Your comment echoes my secret."

"I don't understand."

Pointing at the boxes between them, "It's a long story Laura, do you mind if I move these and pull you closer to me?"

Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head. Robbie carefully moved the boxes then opened his arms. Laura moved closer and nestled into his body. His heart stopped as he felt her sigh into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and inhaled deeply. He felt safer now that she was letting him hold her. He luxuriated in the physical closeness before pressing a gentle kiss to her head.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful young doctor who moved to a magical city called Oxford…"

Laura looked up at him, "I thought you were telling me a secret?"

He kissed her nose, "It's my secret and I will tell it my way. Tuck in and listen." She closed her eyes and nestled even closer to him, "Now where was I?"

With a voice so small he barely heard her, "Once upon a time there was a doctor who moved to a magical city called Oxford."

"I believe I said a beautiful doctor and yes she moved to that magical city and went to work with the police. Now most people would wonder why this delightful creature would choose to do such ugly work. The grumpy Inspector she met on one of her first days once asked his handsome sergeant just that question. The handsome sergeant didn't have an answer and quickly let it drop. He let it drop because the beautiful doctor scared him."

Laura looked up at him. As her lips opened to question him he pressed his finger to them, "Shh. It's my story." She rested her chin on his chest and he continued, "Anyway, the handsome sergeant was always polite to the beautiful doctor but he kept his distance. Because, you see, the handsome sergeant was happily married and he was afraid the beautiful doctor might disrupt his happiness."

Robbie felt, more than heard Laura's intake of breath. He met her eyes and could see the question in them, "One day the handsome sergeant received an invitation to a party. He knew the beautiful doctor would be there as well but he couldn't ignore the invitation and his equally beautiful wife wanted to attend. So, there he was, stuck between two very beautiful rocks."

Robbie watched the tears trace down her face and let the memory take him away as he told her the story.

_"Val, do we really have to go to this party?"_

_Val looked at him from the mirror as she fastened her earring, "Robbie Lewis, we've already said we are going and I have been looking forward to a night out for ages."_

_He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tightly against him, "I'm not saying we won't go out but we could go somewhere nicer. You look lovely and I would be happy to show you off."_

_Turning in his arms she kissed him lightly, "And you can show me off, to your friends. Or are you ashamed of me?"_

_She walked away not letting him see the teasing smile on her face, "That's not what I meant." She turned to him and the moment he saw her smile he knew she was teasing him, "Come on love, you don't really want to spend your evening with a bunch of drunken coppers, do you?"_

_"Well I did marry a copper, drunken or otherwise, so a good detective might deduce I happen to like them."_

_He rolled his eyes knowing he'd lost the battle, "Fine, I know when to concede defeat."_

_She pulled him to her kissing him until they were both breathless, "If you're a good boy I promise more when we get home."_

_"You really don't play fair."_

_She laughed as she slipped out of his arms, "Probably not but had you started your argument with a kiss like that you might have won." She grabbed her things and headed to the door, "Come on, sooner started, sooner finished."_

_The party was about an hour old when Laura arrived with her date DCI Johnson. He watched them wondering what she was doing with him. He felt Val nudge his side, "Who's that with Johnson?"_

_He shrugged nonchalantly, "New pathologist, she just moved here a few months ago."_

_"Well he made short work of it. I wonder what she sees in him."_

_Pulling her closer to him he kissed her temple, "I have no idea. Do you think we've stayed long enough?"_

_"Robbie we've barely been here an hour."_

_He growled in her ear, "It's felt like forever since I know what's waiting for me when I get home."_

_Val looked back at him with an innocent expression, "Is there a football match on the telly?"_

_"Funny."_

_"I thought so. I'm running to the ladies. Why don't you get me a fresh drink?"_

_He nodded as he watched her walk away. He looked at the bar and saw Johnson and Laura were stood waiting for their order. He would wait until they had cleared off before making his way. If Val made it back before he would simply say he didn't want to lose their table._

_A sudden movement at the bar drew his attention. Laura had pushed back from Johnson and she looked angry, very angry. He'd never seen that particular emotion on her beautiful face. As frightening as it was, it sent a chill through him, she was somehow more beautiful when angry. Whatever she was saying to him was said so quietly that no one around them seemed aware. If he hadn't been watching her he might not have seen it either._

_He watched Johnson reach for her again, a flash of anger on his face. Laura took a single step back then walked away. He tracked her progress deeper into the pub. He was torn between hoping she would see him and stop and praying she would walk past him unnoticed. His prayer was answered and she walked right past._

_He was so distracted he didn't notice Johnson move the chair beside him and sit until it was too late, "Robert good to see you out and about. Where's that beautiful wife of yours or are you here stag?"_

_His whole body tensed, "She's in the ladies room." He knew better than to let Martin Johnson see him upset, "If you don't mind holding the table, I need to get her a fresh drink."_

_Johnson drained his drink in one go then started in on Laura's, "Why don't you get me a fresh round and one for the lovely Laura Hobson while you're at it."_

_Robbie managed not to roll his eyes, "Happy to."_

_He rushed to the bar pushing in front of two people. He was desperate to get back to the table before Val returned. Juggling the four drinks he made his way back to be met with not only Val at the table but also Laura. Worse, Val and Laura seemed to be engaged in conversation and both were studiously ignoring Johnson. He shook his head, next time he would just kiss Val, get out of this hell._

_Returning to the table he handed the drinks to everyone. As he settled with his arm around Val he nodded to Laura, "Good to see you here Dr. Hobson. I didn't know you were coming."_

_"I thought it would be a good idea. I'm the new girl it's good to meet everyone in a social way."_

_Val smiled at her, "I imagine it must be hard. In your job, with all of these blokes about. Do they give you a dreadful time?"_

_With a quick eye to Johnson she frowned, "Only a few, most are more like Sergeant Lewis, polite."_

_Val smiled back at Robbie curious about the expression on his face, "Well if he's ever not polite, do let me know. I'll be happy to set him to rights."_

_Laura's eyes twinkled as she smiled first at Robbie and then more widely at Val, "I might just take you up on that."_

_Robbie looked back and forth between them unsure if this was a nightmare or a fantasy. Anxious to steer the conversation elsewhere he asked a question, "Didn't I hear you went to school here Dr. Hobson?"_

_She nodded, "Yes, that's correct in a not too distant past."_

_Val smiled, "So is this just a new job for you or were you somewhere else?"_

_Robbie saw something that he couldn't name cross Laura's face at Val's question. She smiled but this smile didn't go all the way to her eyes. It was the first time he was consciously aware of her different smiles, "No, I was in London for quite a few years."_

_"London that must have been exciting? What brought you back to Oxford?"_

_Laura took a sip of her drink, "Just wanted a change of scenery, I like a quieter lifestyle."_

_"Well Oxford is definitely quieter but there are still plenty of things to do."_

_Johnson leaned in putting his hand on Laura's leg, "Our little Laura gets up to all sorts of things. She's a regular bad girl." Robbie, Val and Laura all stared at him. Laura covered her mouth to hide the gasp. He drained his glass then looked at them, "I'm off for another anyone else want one?"_

_He was gone before any of them could answer. Laura jumped when she felt Val's light touch on her arm. She looked back at Val who smiled kindly, "Laura, if you want, Robbie and I could take you home?"_

_She shook her head, "No, it's OK we came in separate cars. I'll just wait until he gets back then head out."_

_Val thought of all of the evenings out ruined by Robbie being called to a scene, "I've a better idea. Why don't you sneak out while he's at the bar? When he gets back we'll tell him you were called to a scene."_

_Relief flooded Laura's face, "Thank you. I don't know if I will ever be able to repay the favor."_

_Val looked back at Robbie smiling, "Keep an eye out for Robbie and we'll call it even. He has a tendency to get into trouble."_

_Laura smiled at him noticing his embarrassed countenance, "I'm happy to do that." She stood and took a few steps before turning back, "Thanks, it means the world to me."_

_They watched her leave. Robbie wrapped his arm around Val's shoulder and kissed her head, "That was a very kind thing to do."_

_"It served two purposes." He looked at her quizzically, "It will piss Johnson off no end."_

_Robbie laughed knowing the truth in that statement, "And the other purpose?"_

_Val stood and took his hand pulling him to her, "There is an old saying about keeping your enemies close."_

_He looked down at her, "And Laura Hobson is your enemy?"_

_"Only if you ever do anything foolish like act on the feelings you have for her."_

_Robbie spluttered not believing what she'd just said. He was trying to collect his thoughts when Johnson returned to the table, "Where's Laura, in the ladies again?"_

_Val squeezed Robbie's hand, "She was called out to a scene. She asked us to tell you she would see you tomorrow."_

_"Well I guess that leaves the three of us to drink together."_

_Val pulled on Robbie, "Alas, we have other plans. Always a pleasure to see you though." They were halfway out the door before Johnson realized they were gone._

_Once outside the pub Robbie pulled on Val's hand stopping her, "Val, what did you mean earlier?"_

_She turned to him raising one eyebrow, "Robbie, after all these years, do you really think I don't know when you are attracted to someone?"_

_"It's not like it's happened all that often."_

_She shrugged smugly and pulled him to walk again, "I know, that's what makes it much easier. I don't mind you finding other women attractive, I know you would never act on it."_

_"If you know then why all of that with Laura."_

_"To make sure she never tries. It's much harder to make a move on another woman's husband when she has done you a kindness."_

_The walked in silence for a bit, "Have you ever been attracted to another man?"_

_She smiled to herself, "Once upon a time I found DCI Johnson quite handsome." The look he gave her made her laugh, "Don't worry, it didn't last much past actually meeting him."_

_"I would never…"_

_She stopped and turned to him. Softly she traced the contours of his face, "I know that Robbie. That's what makes what I am about to ask you easier." She waited for him to nod before continuing, "I want you to make friends with her."_

_"What?"_

_"She's broken Robbie, she's needs a friend. One who will protect her, cherish her."_

_"And you think I need to be that friend."_

_"I do. I think she needs to see that not all men are like Martin Johnson. That some men are treasures."_

_"And knowing that I am attracted to her, you are comfortable with me showing her that I'm a treasure."_

_The smile she gave him as she pulled him closer stirred something low in him. The kiss she followed with made the one from earlier in the evening seem tame. As she broke the kiss she whispered in his ear, "Absolutely because I plan on keeping you very satisfied at home." He laughed to himself as he followed her to the car. That night, he was very satisfied indeed._

Laura kissed his chest as he paused in the story, "I remember that. Except I remember watching you watch Val. That look of love was transfixing."

"Do you also remember the next day I asked you to have a cup of coffee?"

"And you asked me what a nice girl like me was doing with a job like this? It was the first time I had genuinely laughed in months. I knew in that moment we were going to be good friends."

"Me too, Laura, me too."

She shook her head, "I never knew you were attracted to me."

"With everything that happened in that next year, I pushed it aside pretty quickly."

"Is it what took so long?"

"So long what?"

She rolled her eyes, "To make your move."

He laughed, "Yes, every time I thought about you there was some residual guilt. It felt like I really was cheating on Val."

"I'm sorry Robbie."

"No need love, we got there in the end. It's exactly as it was meant to be."

"I love you Robbie Lewis."

"I love you Laura."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

They lay there, wrapped around one another enjoying the peace that descended with the telling of Robbie's secret. Robbie gently stroked her back. He felt her body begin to relax and wondered if she had fallen asleep.

Kissing the top of her head he softly whispered, "You don't ever have to tell me Laura."

He felt the deep intake of breath. As she attempted to push away from him he pulled her tightly to him. She resisted for a moment then gave into his arms, "Robbie, I have to tell you. It's the only way I will ever be free."

He closed his eyes at her last statement. Did her comment mean she wasn't free of Malcolm Tucker? Was she still in love with him? He shook his trying to clear the thoughts. He returned his focus to her, "I just want you to know I don't care about what happened between the two of you. All I care about is the here and now, about us."

"I know Robbie. I need to tell you for me. I need you to know everything."

"Where do you want to start love?"

She pushed up and this time he let her. Kissing him softly she nodded toward the boxes, "Why don't you hand me the top box? We can start with my days at Lady Margaret Hall."

Robbie sat up and lifted the box from the stack. He handed the box to Laura before settling into the cushions. She let him settle before tucking into his side. Opening the box she was confronted by the photo of Ligeia and Peter.

Robbie felt the tension in her body, "I guess this is Peter Hawkins."

Laura took the photo from the box, "Yes, that's Peter. It was taken right before we all went our merry ways."

"Did you know about them?"

She shook her head, "I had no idea. It makes sense though."

"In what way?"

"She was with Alec for a long time. It was always very volatile. I think when it finally ended she needed someone who was calmer."

"Do you think he assaulted her?"

She shook her head, "I can't imagine he did. But, then, I couldn't imagine Ligeia would have twins and use my name. So maybe I am not the best judge."

"We've never talked about it. Do you want to?"

She shook her head, "What's to talk about? It happened. Without her here to defend herself it's a worthless exercise."

"Did Ellen know?"

"No, she was as stunned as I was. She never suspected anything. She knew Ligeia disappeared for a while. But so did I. We were all busy starting our careers, our lives. She popped back up and we went on. In hindsight, I guess she was a bit more reticent with me after… But by then I was so wrapped up in my own life. I thought I'd made a mistake in my career. I was just trying to figure out who I was."

He smiled at her curiously, "You thought you made a mistake with medicine."

She laughed, "No, I made a mistake with research. It was fine for Ellen and Ligeia. But I knew pretty quickly I wanted something more interactive."

"Is that how you ended up working with the police?"

Laughing she shook her head, "No, that was a happy accident."

"How do I not know this story?"

"It's not much of a story. I was in a pub one night desperately trying not to drink myself into a stupor. There was a man at the bar next to me with a file. He opened it and I looked over his shoulder."

"You, being nosy? I can't imagine."

She pushed into him smiling, "You might want to be thankful for my nosiness. If I hadn't looked at the file, I wouldn't have met him and ultimately I would never have met you."

"How is that?"

She kissed him, "The man was a Detective Superintendent working a cold case. I spotted a discrepancy in one of his photos. Apparently it was enough to send his investigators down another path. They closed the case and he spent the better part of the next three years talking me into working with the police. Well actually he tried to get me to work with him."

"Who is this man that I owe my life with you to?"

"No one important. I didn't work for him, he just started me down a career path."

Robbie dipped his hand into the box and drew out a few more pictures, "Why don't you tell me more about these pictures?"

She wrapped her hand around his curling into him. They went through the box looking at each photo and Laura told him the story of her days at Oxford.

Robbie watched her animatedly tell her stories. For a brief moment he wished he'd known her in those days. He thought back to all of those years he had wasted being scared and feeling guilty. He'd loved her for far longer than he had ever admitted. He leaned over and kissed her neck and was rewarded with a brilliant smile.

"Thank you Robbie."

He pushed her hair back from her face, "For what love?"

"For asking me to go through these photos. There are good memories I had pushed away."

"You can talk to me about anything Laura."

She pressed her forehead to his, "Can I talk to you about some lunch?"

Kissing her lightly he laughed, "I thought you'd never ask Dr. Hobson."

Putting the photos back in to the box, she handed it to him, "Why don't you pick a few to put out around the house while I make lunch?

He took the box and smiled as she stood. Setting the box next to him he pulled her back to him, into his lap, "You never have to thank me for listening Laura. Lord knows you've done your fair share over the years. It's about time I returned the favor."

"I know that Robbie. And I wasn't really thanking you for listening. I was thanking you for helping me to remember. There's a difference, you know."

Robbie nodded, understanding the distinction. He pulled her closer, kissing her with the lightest of touches. The memory of the night before still fresh in his mind. Laura deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He let her control the kiss, the contact. When she pulled away, breathless, he let her. She smiled at him, dazed, "I'll go make lunch now."

He nodded and released her. She walked past him bumping the boxes on the floor. He watched her walk away carrying the tea tray and smiled. As his hand dipped into the box to pick a few of his favorites he noticed the overturned boxes on the floor. He moved the box by his side to safety then leaned over to fix the other boxes.

The top one was easy to restore as its lid had stayed partially closed. He pushed the photos back inside and replaced the lid. The other one had somehow managed to open and the photos were strewn across the floor.

Dropping to his hands and knees he starting picking up the photos and returning them to the box. He hoped Laura didn't have some organization system he was destroying. It was as he was trying to put them all in the same direction one caught his eye.

It was a photo of Laura by herself. She was on a beach of some sort, wind was blowing her hair. She was smiling at someone off camera, blissfully happy. He traced the contours of her face thinking how young she looked. She was only slightly older when he first met her. She was lovely then but she was even more breathtaking now. He raked his eyes down the photo, looking past her serene smile and was stunned.

"Robbie, I should have told you the rule on the photos. You don't get to pick any where I look goofy."

He looked up at her before glancing back at the photo. Laura smiled at him but seeing the look on his face her eyes dropped to the picture in his hand.

"Laura, this photo, are you…" It was all she heard before the floor came rushing up to meet her. Robbie watched helplessly from across the room as she fainted.

**Yep - I am cruel. I'm good with that.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"Robbie, I should have told you the rule on the photos. You don't get to pick any where I look goofy."

He looked up at her before glancing back at the photo. Laura smiled at him but seeing the look on his face her eyes dropped to the picture in his hand.

"Laura, this photo, are you…" It was all she heard before the floor came rushing up to meet her. Robbie watched helplessly from across the room as she fainted.

To Robbie it was like it happened in slow motion. He tried to get to her but she was down before he could move. He heard her head hit the area rug and said a silent prayer of thanks he'd lost the battle with her when he'd moved in.

Once by her side he checked her over. Her pulse was strong and she was breathing fine. He ran his hand under her head and couldn't feel any blood. He didn't want to leave her but something in his mind told him he needed a cool rag. He grabbed a throw from the back of the sofa and placed gently across her.

As quickly as he could he ran to the kitchen and wet the nearest towel with cold water. He ran back to her side and lightly dabbed her forehead with the towel, "Laura, Laura." He was starting to panic when her eyes fluttered. He stroked her cheek lightly, "Laura."

She blinked once, then a second time, "Robbie, what happened?"

"I don't know. You came into the room to tell me something and down you went. Are you OK? Do you want to go to A&E?"

She shook her head then winced, "No, I think I'm fine. Can you help me up?"

"Laura, are you sure? You hit your head pretty hard, albeit not nearly as hard as it would have been had I won the battle of the rug."

She smiled up at him, "I'm sure."

He helped her to a sitting position, "Laura what happened? I've only ever known you to faint once. And that was when you saw Ligeia's body."

Wrapping her arms around her legs she looked away from him, "I didn't want you to find out that way Robbie."

He looked at her confused, "Find out what Laura?"

"What you were about to ask me, about the picture you had in your hand."

Robbie wracked his brain trying to remember what he was going to ask her. Watching her fall and hit her head had made him forget. He saw the picture lying forgotten on the table and reached for it. The minute he saw it his question returned, "You were pregnant?" She nodded with her head buried in her knees. As tenderly as he could he wrapped his arms around her.

He held her, sensing that he needed to let her come to him. Silence enveloped the room. He felt her shoulders shaking before he heard the sobs. Tightening his arms around her, he pulled her more tightly to him. She melted into him, the sobs growing louder.

All Robbie could do was wait. He closed his eyes and buried his head in her hair. He let the scent he associated with Laura wash over him. He tried to quieten his mind but all he could think was how he'd let her down.

He had no idea how long they sat in the floor clinging to one another. Finally, her wracking sobs subsided, her body relaxed. Robbie held his breath waiting for her. When she finally spoke her voice was so small it broke his heart, "I'm sorry Robbie."

"Why love?" He kissed her head, "There is no need Laura."

"I should have told you."

"I think it's what you're doing now."

She looked up at him the hurt in her eyes was painful to see, "I meant years ago. Anytime over the past 20 years would have been preferable to this."

"There's no time like the present. I'm not going anywhere." The small smile she gave him made his heart pound, "Although I wouldn't mind if we moved somewhere, maybe more comfortable."

He helped her up then they made their way to the sofa. Again, we waited, letting her come to him.

"I was 27. We'd been married just over two years when I found out I was pregnant. We were blissfully happy."

He took her hand, holding it tenderly, "What happened?"

"I was seven months along. We decided to take a vacation before she was born. We went back to where we were married."

"Scotland, right?"

She nodded, "We decided to drive up, take our time. It was a lovely week." Robbie waited, knowing she needed to tell this in her own time, "It was on our way back to London. We were just outside of Birmingham a large truck ran us off the road. Malcolm tried to steer around, he overcorrected and the car flipped."

Robbie held his breath. He didn't want to say anything for fear he would stop her talking but he needed her to know he was with her. The only thing he could think to do was squeeze her hand.

"I don't remember anything after that. I woke up in the hospital the next day. Malcolm was there, he was banged up pretty badly. His collarbone was broken, he had a couple of cracked ribs and a concussion. The minute I saw his face I knew something worse had happened."

He felt the first tear hit their joined hands and it was all he could do not to pull her to him. But even without James' words from earlier in the day he knew he had to let her get through this.

Laura wiped the tears from her face then twined her fingers with Robbie's. She was grateful he wasn't asking questions, she wasn't sure she could do this if he interrupted her, "There was no fetal heartbeat. The baby was dead." She felt his hand tighten on hers, "I still had to go through the trauma of labor. As if that wasn't enough, there were complications, whether from the accident or the labor no one knows. I was told that more children wouldn't be possible. In the course of 48 hours we went from future parents to childless with no hope."

Robbie stared at her stunned at what she'd revealed. He dropped his head having to look away. How had he never known this? In the twenty years he had known her, she'd kept all of this from him.

Laura held her breath waiting for Robbie to say something. When no words came she turned to him. The look on his face tore a ragged breath from her, "I'm so sorry I never told you. I know you must hate me. All I can ask is that you please forgive me."

Robbie looked up at her. The pain etched on her face broke his resolve, he pulled her to him, "Oh God Laura, I couldn't hate you if I tried. I'm angry at myself. How could I have known you for so long and never known this? What did I do to make you not trust me enough to tell me? Was I so wrapped up in my own grief that I ignored yours?"

Laura clung to him, his words washing away all of her own guilt at having kept her secret for so long. They held each other, shedding tears for the secrets they had each held back from the other. Finally Laura pulled away, she lightly stroked Robbie's tear stained face. "It had nothing to do with anything you did. By the time we got closer, I was past it. There are only a handful of people that even know about the accident and only three that know everything about the aftermath. It's not something that I share easily."

"Me, Malcolm and who else?"

"Me, I've never told anyone else."

Robbie kissed her, it was all he knew to do. He poured everything he had into the most tender kiss he could manage, "Thank you for telling me."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Laura curled into Robbie exhausted from the telling of the story. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and forget this day had ever happened. She'd revealed more to him in the past few hours than she'd revealed to anyone in longer than she could remember.

His hands rubbing her back softly encouraged her relaxation but she knew if she stopped now she would never continue. She pushed up from him and smiled, "I have more to tell you."

He nodded, knowing it wasn't the whole story. Hoping to make it easier for her he asked his first question, "Losing the baby, is that why your marriage ended?"

She shrugged noncommittally, "I think we might have survived it. It was no one's fault. But the idea of never having children broke something inside me. I wanted to have Malcolm's children from practically the first moment I saw him. We agreed on how many kids we wanted, the only thing we ever disagreed on was boys or girls."

"What did you want?"

A sad smile crossed her face, "Boys, boys that looked like him but had my temperament." She laughed, tears sliding down her cheeks, "He wanted little girls that looked just like me. I told him no because he would spoil them rotten."

"Was he angry when you found out you couldn't have more children?"

She shook her head, wiping away the tears, "No, he said it didn't matter. That one day when we were ready we'd adopt, buy them if we had to. And if that day never came, he didn't care all he wanted was to be married to me, to spend his life with me, to grow old with me."

Robbie watched her, confused. He'd been certain that was what had ended their marriage, "Then what happened?"

"I don't know that there was any one thing. I threw myself into work. So he did the same. We became ships passing in the night. Then one weekend we were at his sister's house and I watched him playing with his nieces and nephews and he was so happy. It was the first time in months that I had seen him relaxed, happy. And it suddenly hit me that I could never give him that. That staying with me would mean he sacrificed his own happiness."

"Laura did he tell you that?"

"No, he didn't have to, I could see it written all over his face when he played with them."

Robbie paused afraid to ask the next question, "Laura, did you talk to him about it?"

She nodded, "When we got home I told him I would understand if he wanted a divorce. That he deserved a chance to be happy." Robbie waited, again, letting her come to him, "He exploded wanted to know what made me think that. I told him I knew how much he wanted kids and since I couldn't, he should find someone who could."

He took her hand, threading their fingers together, "How did he handle that?"

"He handled it the way he always handled arguments. He turned it around on me. If I wanted a divorce then just say so but don't try to blame it on him. Then he stormed out."

"What happened next?"

"Nothing, he came back a few hours later. He asked me if I wanted a divorce. I told him no but I wanted him to be happy and I wasn't sure I could make him happy any longer." Laura paused, the memory of that conversation dancing through her mind.

_"Laura, all I've ever wanted was you. I wanted you before I even knew you existed. Whether we have children or simply grow old in this house together, I don't care. It's you that makes me happy."_

_She shook her head, tears threatening, "That's not true. I saw you with the kids. You were happy, carefree. I can't give you that."_

_"Damn it Laura, I was happy because it was the first time in months I had seen you smile. I thought we were finally turning a corner. You let me hold you in bed for the first time since…since the accident. I thought you were coming back to me. Don't you understand, the only time I am happy is when you are happy. But I don't seem to make you happy anymore."_

_"No, I'm not very happy."_

_He walked to her, taking her hand, "What can I do? I'll do anything."_

_She shook her head, "I don't know. I can't…"_

_"You can't what Laura?"_

_Looking up at him the first tears fell, "I can't be here. It's all too much."_

_Malcolm held his breath. Every day he made hundreds probably thousands of decisions based upon less information than he had right now. He prided himself on his ability to sense which way things were going. But as he stared at his wife, crying silently in front of him, he had no idea what her answer would be, "Laura, do you want a divorce?"_

_She closed her eyes then looked down, "I don't know."_

Laura blinked, trying to drag herself out of those memories. Robbie watched her, confused. Nothing she had told him seemed to lead to divorce, "Laura, I don't understand. How did you end up in Oxford?"

"Do you remember that DS I told you about?" Robbie nodded, "I bumped into him while I was training. He asked me to come work for him again. I told him I wasn't very sure I wanted to stay in London for much longer. He gave me his card and told me to call if I changed my mind. I didn't call him but he called me a few days later. He said if I was serious about leaving London there was a posting here. He offered to make a call for me."

"I can't imagine Malcolm took too keenly to you moving away."

Laura looked away, "Not exactly."

There was something about the way she looked away from him which bothered him, "What happened Laura?"

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, "Nothing happened, I didn't tell him."

"What do you mean you didn't tell him?"

"I didn't tell him. I waited until he was gone on a trip, I packed my things and I moved to Oxford."

**A/N - There's still more angst coming. Hope you have lots of booze around. It's about to get a whole lot worse.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**Thanks for all of the beautiful reviews. This story has been an absolute delight to write. Laura has needed a backstory for far too long. I hope you enjoy my version of what that might be. To the lovely crimefictionfan & givemebritcopsnow thanks for being the most insightful reviewers ever. You two always seem to see my vision for a story (even when you don't particularly care for it). You challenge me to write better stories that go beyond the fluff. Thanks!**

**To the guest reviewers, thanks for reading, reviewing, hanging around. I can't respond to you personally but know I treasure all of your reviews. Now let's see how Robbie feels about Laura's actions.**

Robbie stared at her, he blinked once trying to process the words she'd just said, "You just left?" She nodded, turning her body away from him. "How could you do that Laura?"

"It wasn't my finest moment."

Robbie struggled to understand. To him Laura had always been forthright, direct, fearless. He couldn't understand this level of deceitfulness, of cowardice. For a moment, he understood Malcolm's anger, "How could you do it Laura? You claim to have loved him so much, how could you just walk away? He was hurting too?" He stood and began pacing. He needed to put some physical distance between them.

His thoughts raced as he paced. If she could have done that to Malcolm, her first love, what was to stop her from doing it to him? What would stop her from leaving for work in the morning and never coming back? They had been through so much to be together, it killed him to think she might blithely throw it all away. Would he survive if she did? Would he turn out as bitter and angry as Malcolm?

He turned to scream at her, to demand answers. Then it struck him, the Laura Hobson he knew now wasn't the same woman he'd met 20 years ago. He was judging her based upon who she was now, not who she'd been then.

She had been captivating then but she was so much more now. Looking back, if he was honest, he could see that level of almost coldness she had possessed then. There had been a sharpness to her, bordering on brittle. He saw it all through Val's eyes now. Laura had been broken, coming here had healed her.

Laura caved in on herself. She had known he would react this way. It was why she had hoped she would never need to tell him. She watched him pace, could feel the tension rolling off his body. There was a certainty in her, this would be the end of their relationship.

Caught up in her own increasingly dark thoughts, she didn't notice him sit on the table in front of her. His gentle touch made her jump. She looked up at him unsure of what to make of his gesture, "I can't explain it Robbie. I couldn't then and I can't now."

"Val was right, you were broken. There are some heart breaks that only time can heal. I should know."

Tears filled her eyes, "I didn't think I was worthy of anyone. It wouldn't be right to get involved with someone that might make me happy when I could never give them everything they would want. It's why I dated men like Johnson."

"And all those years I just thought you liked bad boys."

Brittle laughter escaped her, "That might have been some of it. There are a fair few who would say Malcolm is a bad boy." Robbie raised his eyebrows at her, "I knew all about his reputation and I've certainly witnessed his famed temper. Lord knows we had our fair share of rows that probably made the neighbors wonder. But with me he was always tender and kind and lovely."

"And yet you still left?"

She nodded, "Yes, I left him in the most horrible way imaginable. I knew if I told him he would talk me out of it. And staying would kill me."

"You don't think he might have let you go. That he might have loved you enough to see it was what you needed?"

"Later, after I got some help, I realized it's what he would have done. It would have killed him but he would have let me go."

Robbie shifted to sit next to her, "Laura, that's a lot of guilt to carry around. Don't you think it's time to let it go?"

"How do you propose I do that Robbie?"

"I think you need to tell him what you've told me. Don't you think he deserves to know?"

Laura's head dropped. Her hands tightened on one another, "He does know Robbie."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**You can thank crimefictionfan for the second chapter today. She talked me into it. I hope this chapter makes it all better.**

"What do you mean he knows?"

Laura took a deep breath steeling herself for this last confession, "I told you he knew where I was all of those years."

Robbie shrugged, "He was a powerful man. It wouldn't have been too hard for him to find out where you were."

"That's how he found me. And he did keep watch over me." Laura paused letting that sink in for Robbie, "About three years after I moved here I finally started seeing a therapist. She helped me work through my grief, helped me put things into perspective."

"Ok."

"One of the things she insisted that I do was make amends."

Robbie looked at her, "Like a 12-step program."

"Just like that. One of the things I had to do was apologize to Malcolm. I couldn't face him so I wrote him a letter, hoping that it would be enough to let him forgive me."

"Why don't I think it was enough?"

Laura pulled her legs to her chest and hugged them to her, "I didn't hear from him for six months. I thought maybe he had forgiven me and just decided it was best to stay away. Then I got a return letter from him. It was awful, everything I feared put into written form. Somehow, it was worse than if he'd said it to me directly."

"How was a letter worse?"

She laughed, turning her head to him, a wistful look in her eyes. "When Malcom was on a rampage it was sometimes hard to tell if what he said was deliberate or just mouth working without benefit of brain. In writing, I knew it was deliberate. All of those hurtful things had been thought out, considered, purposeful. There was no spontaneous outpouring of words. But as awful as they were, I deserved them all."

"Is that where it ended?"

"No, I waited about a month and wrote back. I addressed some of the things he accused me of. I told him about my life here, asked how he was. A couple of months went by and he wrote back. That started six months of letters. Then we started calling one another."

"He forgave you?"

"We forgave one another. The next year I had to go to London for some training. We had dinner, dinner became breakfast. Before long we saw each other more regularly."

Robbie looked away, "You said you were only together for the three years."

"We were only together as a couple for those three years. After that it was more of a convenience, at least for me. Even though I was over my grief, I wasn't ready to start something more serious. I loved Malcolm but I wasn't ready for something more."

Robbie edged away from her, "But that's not how he felt was it?"

"Malcolm was a different man. He didn't want anyone close to him. I think he liked the intimacy being with me afforded him because he knew I would keep him an arm's length away. It was mutually beneficial."

He shook his head, "Well if it was so bloody convenient for everyone then why did you file for divorce."

Laura cringed at his slightly raised voice. She looked at him unbelieving, "I told you why I filed for divorce. You came back from the BVI."

"Right, because you were in love with me, all those years ago."

She pulled back slightly, "It wasn't that Robbie. I told you it was watching how devoted you still were to Val. It made me realize that I was being unfair to both myself and Malcolm."

Robbie stood, stalking away, running his hand through his hair, "Did you do the same thing with the divorce? Just file and not tell him. Did you blindside him with that too?"

Anger flashed in her, "No, Robbie. I might have been needlessly cruel to him once but I wouldn't have done that to him again. I told him over dinner that I thought it best we move on."

"And he just agreed to that."

"He said he did. Told me to send the papers. So I did, then six months went by. I called him, he apologized said he'd forgotten to give them to his solicitor. He promised to take care of it. Another six months went by."

"Doesn't sound like you were in any great hurry."

"Actually I dated someone during that whole time."

The look he gave her was filled with anger, "I thought you filed for divorce for me."

"I filed because of you but not for you. That didn't come until much later."

"Later, what does that mean?"

Laura took a calming breath. She didn't want to lose her temper. Robbie had every right to be angry, "I didn't push him on the divorce because there was no need. Yes, I was dating but no one ever stuck. And while we were getting closer, you were still a long way from being ready for a relationship."

"So it's my fault that you stayed married all of those extra years?"

"No, there's no blame. Actually, Malcolm was to blame. He had an unreasonable request. He wanted one last weekend with me. He felt certain he would be able to change my mind, convince me that we were meant to be together."

Robbie turned away. He needed to ask the question but he was afraid of the answer, "And did he, did he get his last weekend?"

"Yes, he did."

She watched him. His slumped shoulders told her everything she needed to know. She had betrayed him long before they became a couple, he'd just never known.

"I wouldn't have done it Robbie. I would have waited him out but then you asked me to go away for the weekend. I told you I booked two rooms but I didn't tell you that I hoped we would only use one. When our plans fell apart and you asked me if I wanted to try again I realized how desperately I wanted it. It was when I knew I had to get free of him. I couldn't start something with you while still connected to him."

Robbie's voice was so low she barely heard it, "So you gave into him?"

"I called him, told him to make the plans but he had to promise to sign the papers at the end. He told me if I was still certain he would sign them."

"And you had your last weekend together?"

"Not the way either of us had planned."

He turned to her. She could see the anger and hurt battling with one another in his eyes, "What's that mean?"

"Elections were going on, we couldn't fix a time. And then, those twins…"

"What about the twins?"

"They didn't kill me but they damaged me. All of Ligeia's deceit came out. I was crushed. You walked me home after her funeral. You were so sweet, you checked the yard and all of my closets, even under my beds but then you left. I wanted you to stay so badly but I didn't know how to ask."

He turned to her his expression softening, "I wanted to stay too, but I didn't want to seem to be taking advantage."

"About ten minutes after you left, there was a knock. It was Malcolm. He'd heard what happened. He said he needed to see that I was alive for himself. We talked for hours. I told him everything that happened and he told me everything that had happened to him. He'd left in disgrace. He said he was tired. He was tired of manipulating people all of the time. Tired of not having genuine moments with people. I knew what he was going through. I had just found out one of my closest friends betrayed me. You had doubted me and I wasn't 100% sure we would ever get over it."

"What happened Laura?"

"He stayed the night. The next morning he asked me to go away with him. He didn't care where, just anywhere that wasn't here or London. Someplace where no one knew us. We could start over, begin again, just the two of us."

Robbie looked at her, suddenly the story didn't seem as bad, "But you said no?"

Laura closed her eyes and shook her head, "I said yes."

**A/N - I know that didn't make it better. You didn't really think I was going to resolve it that quickly did you.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Robbie stared at her, stunned. He played her words over and over in his head, "You said yes?"

"I did, the idea of running away was appealing."

Contempt flowed through his words, "And where were you going, when you ran away?"

She smiled, remembering the conversation with Malcolm, "Mallorca to start. Then anywhere there was sun and sand and people who didn't know us."

Robbie shook his head, it was all too much. He'd known he didn't know everything about her but this was out of the realm, "I can't do this Laura it's too much."

"Robbie, I need you to ask me one more question. Once I answer it if you go, I will understand."

"What's the question?"

"Ask me why I didn't go?"

"What difference does it make Laura? You were going to leave. And it seems like you were going to leave me just like you left Malcolm. So what difference does it make?"

Her voice pleaded with him, "Ask the question Robbie, please."

"Fine, Laura, I'll ask the question but as soon as I hear the answer I'm leaving. I need to be away from you." She nodded, "Why didn't you go?"

She smiled, the memory of that day as fresh as if it had happened yesterday.

_The knock at the door surprised her. She looked at her watch, the car was early. She closed the suitcase and smiled. If it wasn't packed by now, she didn't need it. She would just buy new. Lifting the suitcase she carried it carefully down the stairs. She would let the driver in and he could take the suitcase while she gathered her last few items._

_She opened the door but rather than a liveried driver, it was Robbie Lewis, "Robbie, what are you doing here?"_

_He rubbed at the skin under his right eye, "I didn't hear from you today and I wanted to make sure you were OK."_

_"I'm fine Robbie."_

_"Did you get any rest last night?"_

_Her mind flashed to what she'd done the night before. The images were filled with bare skin, warm mouths, teeth. It hadn't been restful but it had been what she needed, "Some."_

_They stood in the doorway awkwardly. Laura not inviting him in because she didn't want to explain the suitcase. Robbie wanting to check on her but more, he just wanted to see her. No, he needed to see her. He needed to make sure she was whole._

_"Do you think you might like to go for a walk?"_

_She looked up at him, "Now?"_

_He shrugged, "Unless you've got something better to do."_

_Looking up at him she saw all of the hope of a promised future. It was then she realized she didn't need to run away to find happiness, it was waiting right here for her. She shook her head, "No, I don't have anything better to do at all. A walk sounds nice."_

Robbie stared at her in disbelief, "So you did it to him again?"

"In a manner of speaking. I called him. I told him I was delayed to answer some questions for the police. I told him I would be along in a day or two."

"You never went."

"No because when you walked me home you asked if I might not be doing anything the next day. And then the next and the next."

"And each day you lied to him. Did you tell yourself it wasn't a lie because I was a cop? Is that how you justified it?"

Laura looked away. His question had hit too close, "On the fourth day he didn't answer. I called the resort, he'd checked out, left the island. I tried to tell myself he knew it wasn't the right thing to do. We weren't coming back together because we were in love any longer. We were grabbing onto something familiar to get away." She turned back to him, "Three weeks later he was back on the telly, back on the job. The divorce papers came by messenger a few months later. There was no note, it was done. He went back to his life, I stayed here, with you."

"I need to go Laura. I have to clear my head."

She nodded, "I understand. I don't want you to go but I understand. I love you Robbie. I should have told you all of this years ago. I didn't because I was scared you would think less of me. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, me too Laura. Had you told me this years ago, I wouldn't have thought less of you. Now, well now, I don't know. I just need to get away."

She watched him walk away. Heard him open the hall closet to retrieve his jacket. When the door closed she chased into the kitchen. As she heard his car start the tears burned a path down her cheeks.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**When I started this, I was planning 15 maybe 20 chapters. Then I mentally revised to 30. That's not going to happen. At best it's another 6 chapters, probably closer to 10. Hope you guys don't mind.**

Laura stood in the kitchen lost. She understood why Robbie needed to get away. What she didn't know was he just cooling off or was this more? Waiting was going to kill her but she was afraid to leave for fear he would return and read something into her not being home.

She looked around for something to do. Cleaning always calmed her, bringing order to chaos. She started in the kitchen and slowly spread to other rooms. Any time her mind would wander to Robbie she would find something else to clean.

Her eyes wandered to the clock in each room watching the hours tick away. The longer he was gone the more anxious she became. When the phone rang she was startled, she grabbed at it hoping it was him, "Robbie?"

"Sorry to disappoint Laura, it's Jean."

Laura's breath caught in her chest, "Hi Jean. Is everything OK?"

"That's why I was calling you. Based on how you answered the phone, can I surmise that things are not ok?"

"I've had better days."

"I'm guessing Robbie isn't there at the moment."

Laura shook her head, "No, he left a few hours ago."

Jean paused, "When you say left…"

A sob escaped Laura's chest, "I don't know. I think he just went to clear his head."

"Laura do you want me to come over?"

"No, if he comes back…" Laura stopped, realizing what she said. Taking a deep breath she shook her head, "No, when he comes back I don't want him to feel like there's no one on his side."

"Laura, what happened?"

"I told him everything."

"I see and how bad is everything."

Laura laughed before sitting on the sofa, "It's pretty bad. If you would like I can tell you. Might as well get it out to everyone."

Jean thought for a moment before making her decision, "No, I don't need to know. We've all made mistakes. It's what shapes us and makes us who we are. I know who you are today. Regardless of what mistakes you might have made in the past, who you are today is all I care about."

"Don't be too sure about that Jean. I did some pretty awful things."

"So did we all Laura, so did we all."

Suddenly very tired Laura sank into the sofa pulling the throw over her, "I don't think Robbie ever did."

Jean's bitter laugh surprised Laura, "I'd say keeping you hanging for years was a pretty horrible thing."

"That's not fair Jean. For many of those years I wasn't ready for a relationship either."

Jean took a deep breath calming herself, then decided to hell with it, "Laura, those last two years he strung you along. Close one minute then pushing you away the next. We all saw it. He knew that you would always be there but he couldn't just go for it nor could he let you go. I get that he loved his wife but what he did to you was cruel and unusual. There is absolutely nothing you could have done that was worse than that."

"I'm not sure that Malcolm would agree with that."

"What difference does Malcolm make? What you did or didn't do to Malcolm shouldn't matter to Robbie. You are with Robbie and, to my knowledge, you have never given him any cause to doubt how you feel for him."

"I'm not so sure that he looks at it that way. There were a lot of things I kept from him Jean. Today he found out all of them. It was a lot to take in all at once."

Taking a deep breath Jean countered, "I understand the shock of hearing it all at one time but it doesn't change who you are now. Who you were with Malcolm is not who you are with Robbie. And if he can't see that then it's his problem not yours. None of us are saints and I don't think you have ever pretended to be one."

Laura laughed, "No, I'm definitely not a saint and I've never pretended to be one." She sat up anger beginning to push back the edges of her self-pity.

"We are all guilty of horrible transgressions in our past. Hopefully we learn from them and become better people because of them. Would you say it happened with you?"

Laura thought for a moment. Jean was right, she had hung on those last two years waiting on Robbie because of what she'd done to Malcolm, "You're right. I'm not who I was. What I did might not have been the most honorable thing to have done but I have never and would never treat Robbie that way."

Jean smiled hearing the fight come back to her friend's words, "There's the Laura Hobson I know. What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know but sitting here wallowing in misery isn't part of my game plan anymore."

"Good because I have an idea on something that you need to do."

Laura was suddenly cautious, "Why do I have a feeling I'm not going to like your idea on something to do?"

Jean smiled, "Because you know me and you are right."

Taking a deep breath Laura dove in, "Continue."

"You need to confront Malcolm, on your terms, not his."

"Are you insane?"

Jean laughed, "Far from it. He's going to pick apart your support system attempting to weaken you. He's already gotten to James do you really think Robbie won't be next. Do you want him talking to Robbie while he's this vulnerable?"

Laura thought about it for a moment and knew Jean was right, "How did he get to James?"

"James was foolish and went to Malcolm."

Laura gasped, "I can't imagine that went well."

"You are correct. Malcolm picked him apart, child's play really."

"James hates me doesn't he?"

Jean thought for moment about how to answer the question. Finally decided honesty was the best tact, "It wasn't good. When I finally caught up with him he was pretty angry with you." Jean heard Laura's intake of breath, "I've talked with him and he's better."

"Should I talk with him?"

"It wouldn't hurt, but give him a bit of space. He needs to wrap his brain around the fact that you aren't perfect."

Laura stared at the phone before answering, "I've never pretended to be. What does that mean?"

"Laura, don't kill the messenger. I never said you thought you were. But James had an image of you that Malcolm helped to destroy." Laura closed her eyes knowing how destructive Malcolm could be, "Laura, he's OK but he proves my point. Malcolm will keep this up until he gets you alone."

"So I should just stroll into the lion's den?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. Sometimes the best defense is a good offense."

"Really Jean, a sports metaphor, from you."

Jean laughed, "I'm tired and I have a hangover, give me a break. My point is put him on his back foot. Stop letting him control the game. He may have started it but I suspect you have the power to finish it."

"I don't know if I have any power over Malcolm anymore Jean."

"That's not true Laura. I saw him with you yesterday. You still have a hold on him and him you I suspect. First loves are powerful things."

Laura closed her eyes recognizing the truth of Jean's statement, "I'll think about it. But I can't do anything until Robbie gets back. I won't leave until he's home."

Jean could hear the desperation in Laura's voice, "I suspect you have your reasons, but don't wait too long. Don't give Malcolm any more power than he already has."

"Thanks Jean, I needed this. I promise to tell you the whole story one day."

"Like I said, I don't need to know it. I know who you are now. I don't need to know who you were then. However, if you need to share it, I am happy to listen."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**I'm very thankful that you guys are willing to read a few extra chapters of my rambling story. These things take on a life of their own, 5 chapters become 10 then 20. Next thing you know you've written a novel. I promise this one won't get that long. However I have no new ideas. So once this one is done I might be out for a while.**

Jean hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment. Her conversation with Laura had ended on a better note than it started but she was still worried. She'd never heard Laura sound so defeated. She had no idea what Laura had shared with Robbie but his response seemed inappropriate. If he acted this way now after all of this time with Laura she can only imagine how he would have reacted earlier. Something told her there wouldn't be a Robbie and Laura had he known the truth all along.

Taking a quick look at her calendar she made a snap decision, staying in the office wouldn't do her any good. She collected her things and informed her assistant she was leaving for the day. Walking quickly to her car, she starting rifling through her memory for the places she should look.

An hour and multiple stops later, Jean still hadn't found what she was looking for. She briefly contemplated calling in reinforcements when a thought occurred to her. She shook her head as it flitted through her brain, "_Surely not._"

She drove through town and was only briefly surprised when she saw the car. Parking next to it she secured her bag before getting out. She thought about waiting before deciding disturbing him might be just what was needed.

Quietly she walked the path looking around. She almost missed him because he was sitting on the ground. Two quick turns and she was right behind him, "Getting a bit long in the tooth to be sitting on the ground don't you think?"

Robbie startled as he turned to look at her, "Laura sent you I suspect ma'am."

Jean flinched at his use of ma'am, "No, although I did speak with her. I came out on my own. I suspected you might need a non-involved party to chat with."

"And you're not involved?"

Jean shrugged as she brushed off the bench next to Robbie before sitting, "Involved in the sense that I care for you both. Non-involved in the sense that I don't really know much of the story. So in our circle, it makes me the most non-involved."

He looked at her for a moment not sure he believed her, "Laura hasn't told you?"

"She offered, I told her I didn't care." She looked pointedly at Robbie, "And I don't care. If we were all judged by the mistakes we made in our past, most of us wouldn't have a future."

He scoffed, "Easy for you to say. You aren't the one who has to live with it."

Jean stared off into the peace of their surroundings, "Actually, I'm pretty sure that you aren't the one who has had to live with it either."

Robbie looked at her, anger flashing across his face, "How do you figure? We've been living together for years now."

Jean fought the smile that threatened, sometimes he really did make it too easy, "And over the past three years how have her mistakes impacted you?"

Robbie deflated seeing the trap he'd walked into too late, "You know it hasn't. But it doesn't change the fact she lied to me."

Rolling her eyes she laughed, "What is it about men? You think just because we don't tell you something we are lying."

"It's a lie of omission."

Again Jean shrugged, "I guess that's one way of looking at it." Robbie nodded pleased he'd won the argument so easily, "And I suppose you've told Laura all of your secrets?"

"I don't have any secrets from Laura."

Jean smiled smugly to herself, "So she knows why you really went to the BVI?"

Robbie looked at her fear tugging at the edge of his conscious, "Everyone knows why I went. I needed to get away."

"Yes, that's the official reason. Drinking on the job would be the unofficial reason."

"It was a long time ago. I had a problem, I got better."

"And I suppose she knows you almost retired a few years ago."

Looking away he nodded, "I talked with her about it."

"Good, so she knows you turned in the paperwork then changed your mind."

Robbie cursed, "You know she doesn't. I suppose you plan on telling her. Give her ammunition to use against me."

Jean shook her head, "I have no intention of telling her. And I'm not altogether certain you need to. I'm using the two instances I know about to illustrate the point, we all have skeletons. We've all made mistakes best left forgotten. In all of the years you've known Laura has she ever once give you reason to doubt how she feels about you?"

Robbie sighed, "No."

"And whatever her secret is, it was true during all of that time wasn't it?"

"Yes but what she did makes me doubt the future. What she did to someone she claims to have loved very deeply, what's to stop her from doing the same to me?"

Jean nodded then shook her head, "Absolutely nothing Robbie, it's why relationships take so much faith. Every single day you have to get up and believe the person you love will still love you."

They sat silently letting Jean's words linger in the air, "She's never given me any reason to doubt her has she?"

"You'd know better than me but from the outside looking in I would say no she hasn't. I would go even further and say she held on a lot longer than most would have. With a lot less to go on from you than you've had over the years."

The pointed look Jean gave him made Robbie look away. A companionable silence settled over them again, "I've handled this badly, haven't I."

"Well I wasn't there to witness what happened but seeing as you are here sitting on the grave of your first wife, my instinct is to say it isn't your finest hour."

"You said you talked to her, was she ok?"

Jean shook her head, "She sounded defeated. In all of the years I've known her, I've never once heard her sound that way." Jean stood preparing to leave, "And that includes the night you and James pulled her from a grave and a certain death."

Robbie moved to stand and Jean offered her his hand. After he stood and they were eye to eye, "I've messed this up haven't I."

Jean squeezed his arm, "She loves you and I think it's all really matters. But I'd expect a fair amount of groveling when you get home."

Robbie looked at her curiously, "You said she sounded defeated."

Jean turned to leave smiling to herself, "I did, didn't I. I should probably mention I might have given her a bit of a pep talk. By the end of our conversation she was decidedly more Laura like."

A shiver ran down Robbie's spine. The thought of Jean saying Laura had been more like herself at the end of the call was both thrilling and frightening, "Is she going to let me back in the house?"

"That's an excellent question." Jean looked at her watch, "It has been more than an hour since I spoke with her. Surely she can't have had a locksmith out this quickly. I'd hurry along nonetheless."

Robbie gaped at her not sure whether she was joking or not. Seeing the neutral look on her face he decided it was best not to take a chance, "Jean, I'm happy to walk you back to your car but do you mind if we hurry?"

Jean shrugged, "It's quite peaceful here. I think I might take a stroll around. Feel free to go on without me."

Robbie paused for just a moment before heading away from Jean. He made it about ten steps before he turned back to her, "Thanks Jean."

Before she could respond he was running towards his car. Jean smiled as she watched him. She sat on the bench again and looked back towards Val's headstone, "Honestly, how he ever won you much less Laura is a complete mystery to me."

**I haven't said it recently so I need to say it now. A huge thanks to Muffinzelda. If not for her idea I wouldn't be having quite this much fun. I hope you are having as much as I am.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Laura hung up the phone with Jean feeling decidedly better. Yes, not telling Robbie had been a mistake but at the end of the day who she was with him was not who she was with Malcolm. In all of the years they had been together, both as a couple and as a, whatever the hell they were, she had never given him reason to doubt her.

He on the other hand had toyed with her, pulling her close only to push her away. She had made every excuse for him, always taking him back, trusting him. Perhaps it was time that he afforded her the same courtesy.

Taking a deep breath she thought about James going to see Malcolm. Wasn't that just like him? Always so certain that he was the smartest one about. She almost felt sorry for him. She was under no illusions about what Malcolm would have done to him. Served him right, thinking that she needed him to fight her battles.

She picked up the phone and dialed James' number. Pacing as the line rang, thinking of all the things she would say. His slightly frightened voice stopped her in her tracks, "Hi Laura."

She smiled, sitting on the table, "James, I'm sorry."

On the other end of the line, James sat back in his chair. He knew from the tone in her voice she had spoken with Jean, "You've no need. I butted in where I shouldn't have."

She laughed, "Yes, you did. But it was for a good cause, so I forgive you."

James smiled sadly. Silence lingered between them, neither quite sure what to say next, "How did your talk with Robbie go?"

"Not well, probably about as well as your talk with Malcolm."

He paused, "Did he accuse you of being in love with me?"

Laura laughed in spite of herself, "No, he didn't do that. But he did leave the house."

James' head fell back against his chair, "I'm sorry Laura. I thought he could take it."

"Don't worry James, it's not over yet. He'll come back and when he does I'll have a few choice things to say."

"I almost feel sorry for him."

Silence crackled over the line, "Did Malcolm really accuse you of being in love with me?"

James nodded even though he knew she couldn't see him, "Not in so many words but yes."

"Do we need to talk about it James?"

"No, I've never been in love with you Laura. I have very complex feelings for you. You are sort of my ideal woman."

Laura laughed, "I don't know if I've ever been anyone's ideal woman James."

"Don't get too cocky, it would be a combination of you and the Chief Super, she has really nice legs."

Laura giggled, all of the stress of the last two weeks sliding away from her. She relaxed even more when she heard James laughing, "Now we each know secrets."

"I know I can trust you to keep mine."

"Same here James. Are you OK? I know how Malcolm can be."

"I'm better now Laura. Thank you."

She smiled, "I'm always here for you James. It's what family does."

"Goodbye Laura."

"Bye James."

"Hey Laura." He waited to make sure she was still there. He heard her hum, "You've got nice legs too." He hung up with her laughter ringing in his ears. Suddenly, he felt much better.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

**Two chapters today: back up and read 31 first. You can thank an almost 4 hour flight and crimefictionfan because she asked really nicely.**

Laura had stopped her relentless cleaning. She'd fixed a bite to eat then settled in the garden to wait for Robbie to return. While not exactly angry, she wasn't all that pleased either.

She had laid her soul bare revealing all of her secrets to Robbie. And rather than accepting her and understanding those experiences had led her to him he had once again pushed her away. It seemed to be a trend in their relationship. She'd thought they had moved past it.

Today had been proof positive that the Robbie Lewis of old was still alive and well. She loved him desperately but at the moment she didn't like him very much.

* * *

Robbie stopped his car at the end of the lane. He looked down to their home. Jean's words on a constant loop in his mind, "_You'd know better than me but from the outside looking in I would say no she hasn't. I would go even further and say she held on a lot longer than most would have. With a lot less to go on from you than you've had over the years._"

He thought of all of the times he had treated her badly, pushed her away. He could see the hurt in her eyes as he carelessly said things to her. Never once in all of those years had she abandoned him. And now when she had revealed the most tragic events of her life he had run. Putting the car into gear he slowly closed the distance to the house. He said a silent prayer that she would forgive him.

* * *

Laura heard his car and was tempted to go into the house to meet him. Then she decided that she would rather make him come to her. She settled back into the swing and opened her book. In the past she had always made it easy for him. That would not happen today.

* * *

Robbie walked through the house looking for her. He was desperate to find her but also scared. He could see the level of clean in the house and knew how she had filled her time while he was gone. She was almost obsessively tidy under the best of circumstances but stress made it worse.

He stuck his head into the sitting room and found it empty. The same level of tidiness reined there. Quietly climbing the stairs his anxiety increased. He could smell the cleaning products which meant she'd made it to the second floor still in full cleaning mode. That would not bode well.

A quick sweep of the upstairs told him she wasn't there either. Panic set in, she wouldn't have just left would she? Her car was still in the drive, would she have gone for a walk? As he walked through the bedroom he looked out the window. Relief swept through him as he saw her curled into the swing, a book in her lap.

He watched her for a moment, trying to gauge her mood from her body language. She seemed relaxed. He walked quickly down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs he took a single, deep breath, steeling himself before stepping into the garden.

* * *

Laura heard the door open. She kept her head down determined to finish the page she was reading. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of looking up until she was ready. She could feel him watching her and almost sense the tension rolling off him.

He watched her reading. He wanted to say something but felt it better to let her come to him. When she put her bookmark in the book his entire body tensed.

She put the bookmark in the book, closed it then set it carefully beside her on the swing. It was done deliberately to send a message that he was not welcome on the swing with her. She cleared her face of all expression then looked towards him, "Are you back for good or have you decided I am too awful to continue being in a relationship with?"

Robbie took a tentative step toward her, an apology on his lips. She held up her hand stopping anything he could say, "You need to know something before you answer." The gaze she fixed him with stopped him in his tracks. He nodded letting her know he understood, "The way you treated me earlier was unacceptable. I shared the most horrific thing that has ever happened to me as well as the most horrific thing I have ever done. And you ran, you judged me and somehow found me wanting."

He dropped his head. There was nothing he could say to refute what she was saying. He had promised her nothing she would tell him would make him change his feelings. Then when it really mattered he had done just the opposite. He looked back to her, stunned. He'd been expecting tears, hurt, what he found instead was a coldness that scared him.

"We've known each other for more than 20 years Robbie. In all of that time I have never once given you any reason to think I would abandon you. I have taken care of you, supported you, nurtured you, loved you. And for most of those years I did it with absolutely no reciprocation from you. I stood by while you pushed me away, treated me as if I was disposable. You have no idea how many nights I went home and cried because you couldn't or wouldn't let me in."

Tears fell down his face. All of her words were true, at least to some extent. The worst part was what she didn't know. He had known how much he'd hurt her. He'd tried to push her away because it hurt too much to think he might move on, keep going when Val couldn't. There were so many times he'd looked down at her smiling face and wanted to pull her to him, to tell her how much he wanted her, to kiss her, to love her. Then the pain would return and he would purposefully push her away.

She watched him, tears falling down his, face and wondered how far she should push him. If they were being honest then she was all in, "And I tried Robbie, I tried to find someone else. I tried to love someone else to have you just as a friend." She paused the pain finally cutting through her voice, "But then you would smile at me and I knew it was you, it was always you. You brought me back from the edge Robbie. You made me understand what I wanted in life. I wanted you, I needed you. You saved me."

He looked up at her. All of these years he'd thought she'd saved him. It never occurred to him she might have needed saving too. He took a tentative step toward her, relaxing a bit when she didn't step back. Carefully he closed the distance between them and gently took her hand. He could see the tears welling in her eyes, all of the coldness from before was gone, replaced by a heartrending sadness. Taking a deep breath he said the only words he could think of, "What did you have?"


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

**Sorry for the delay. I had a girls weekend in NYC and it took all of my time and a considerable amount of my energy. If you live near the city I highly recommend "It's Only a Play". Fantastic cast and production. We got to meet Matthew Broderick after so I am a bit buzzed from that. Hope you enjoy the chapter.**

Laura blinked, his question taking her by surprise. She tried to take a step back but he pulled her to him, wrapping her in his embrace, "Tell me everything Laura. I want to know everything there is to know. I won't run. I will be right here loving you for as long as you will let me."

Laura wrapped her arms around him, clinging. Of all of the things she had imagined he would say to her this had never come to mind. The tears she had been fighting slid silently down her cheek. Without knowing it those four words, a simple question, had healed all of the hurt, not just of the last few hours, but since the day she woke up in the hospital.

Robbie held her to him sensing her tears were about more than just him walking away. As her sobs increased he made a decision. Lifting her gently he carried her into the house, up the stairs and to their bedroom. He placed her tenderly on the bed then lowered himself to lay beside her. He held her as her tears subsided. Her breath went from ragged to smooth to deep and even.

Watching her as she slept, he was swept away by the depth of love he felt for her. He knew something precious had broken between them today. Kissing her forehead before surrendering to sleep, he made a vow to do whatever it took to make it up to her.

* * *

Darkness covered the room when Laura woke. She blinked her eyes confused about where she was. Movement next to her and a warm arm pulling her close brought back a rush of memories. She looked up at Robbie, comforted to see him. Wrapping her arm around his waist she thought about the day.

She didn't want to think about how close they had come to destroying their relationship. She'd never wanted to think that something so simple could end a relationship. But she knew it could happen. That they were here, like this gave her hope they were past the worst of it.

The question he'd asked her played across her mind. She wondered if he knew how powerful those words had been. What he'd said next had been equally meaningful but the question told her more. It told her they would get past this together.

"I can hear you thinking Laura. Care to share with the rest of the class?"

She smiled as she looked up to meet his eyes, "I was just thinking about how much I love you."

He kissed her forehead, "You don't know how much that means to me Laura. When I saw you earlier I was certain you were going to tell me to take a hike."

Laughing lightly she buried her head in his chest, "I thought about it." She felt him tense and pulled him closer, "Then I realized I've invested entirely too much time in training you Robbie Lewis. I'm not letting all of my hard work go to waste."

He lifted her chin so she was looking at him, "Training me Dr. Hobson?"

Fighting a smile she nodded seriously, "Absolutely, getting you to make the bed, clean the bathroom and don't get me started on the subject of separating clothes."

"I love you Laura."

She nodded knowing their joking moment had passed, "I know Robbie. I'm sorry for everything."

"So am I. I shouldn't have left. And I meant what I said earlier, I want to know everything. You don't have to tell me today, tell me when you are ready."

They lay side by side staring at one another for longer than either would have thought. Peace had descended and each knew they had weathered the worst of the storm, "A girl, I had a girl."


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 35**

"So Malcolm would have had his way?" Robbie regretted the question the minute the words left his mouth."

He was just about to apologize when Laura laughed. He tensed trying to determine if her laughter was genuine or just a reaction to his insensitivity, "I don't know if it's just because it's been so long but I don't think I've ever looked at it that way."

He met her eyes and could see the laughter was genuine, "Laura, I shouldn't have said it."

She pushed up and captured his lips, effectively silencing him. His arms tightened around her, he didn't know what had prompted the kiss but he wasn't going to push her away. When they came up for air she smiled at him, "It's OK Robbie. One reason I never tell people is because of the sympathy. Sometimes it's overwhelming. A part of me will always miss her but finding something to laugh about somehow brings her closer. Thank you."

"What was her name?"

"Lily, Lily Margaret."

"I know Margaret is your middle name, where did the Lily come from?"

She smiled at him, "It was my grandmother's name."

"It's a beautiful name. Is there a grave somewhere?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"Will you take me someday?"

She nodded, "Are you sure?"

"Laura, everything, remember." She nodded tears filling her eyes, "Thank you for sharing."

"I think it's the most I have talked about her in probably 20 years."

He stroked her hair back from her forehead before kissing her gently, "I'm always here to listen." She nodded as she curled into his chest. He held her, letting her relax into him. He didn't want to ruin the peace of the moment but he had to, "Laura, are we OK?"

She nodded, "We will be." He held her to him saying a silent thanks. "Robbie, why did you leave?"

"I don't know Laura. I knew pretty quickly that it was a mistake."

She sat looking at him curiously, "Then why didn't you come back."

"Because I was scared. I was scared you would tell me to leave, that you wouldn't want me anymore. That somehow I had finally proven myself unworthy of you."

"So you just stayed away?"

He looked down sheepishly, "I was kind of hoping if I gave you enough space you would forgive me."

"Or I could work myself into a frothy fit of anger?"

He laughed, "Well I didn't think about that possibility until I talked with Jean."

"You talked with Jean too."

He stretched out on the bed looking up at her, "After you did apparently. She pointed out that I was being foolish. I am ashamed." He sat, sitting so they were eye to eye, "I need you to know that I loved you for far longer than I ever let on. I know how much I hurt you all of those years and, if you'll let me I plan on spending the rest of my life making it up to you."

She cupped his cheek then kissed him tenderly, "Truthfully, I forgave you the minute you walked into the house." He raised an eyebrow, silently questioning her earlier tirade, "Forgiving you and needing you to know how I feel are two different things. You hurt me Robbie. I understand how you feel but you hurt me."

He nodded, understanding her distinction, "I love you Laura; I know they may seem like meaningless words but it's all I have."

She pressed her forehead to his, "It's enough Robbie. It always has been."

"Dr. Hobson, could I talk you into a spot of dinner?"

She kissed him lightly, "I thought you'd never ask."


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

**One more Robson chapter then I will start winding this down. Still no ideas for a new story on the horizon. Got something you've always wanted to see? Let me know. Maybe 4-5 more chapters to go.**

Robbie and Laura worked together to fix their meal. While not quite back to normal they were closer than earlier in the day. They ate in relative silence then cleaned the kitchen. As Robbie put the last dish away he paused, he wanted to continue their talk but didn't want her to feel like he was pushing her.

"Laura, would you like to open a bottle and enjoy the great outdoors?"

She tried to hide her sigh of relief, "That would be lovely. I'll get the glasses you pick a bottle?"

He kissed her on the forehead, "I'll see you outside."

Laura smiled as she reached around him to grab the glasses, "Don't take too long."

Robbie watched her walk away. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he smiled, they were going to be OK. After selecting and opening a bottle of wine Robbie stopped to turn on music. As he stepped on the patio he paused to watch her.

She was relaxing in the swing her face upturned to the sky. He wondered for a moment what she was thinking. Walking as quietly as he could, he filled the two glasses before putting down the bottle. Picking up the glasses he closed the distance between them, "Is there room for one more?"

She smiled up at him, "Only if you promise to keep me warm."

He handed her the glass then settled next to her. Laura looked back at him and he raised his arm allowing her to tuck into his body.

They sat in silence enjoying their wine and the peace. Laura nuzzled her head to his chest, "Robbie you said earlier you'd loved me for far longer than you ever let on. How long?"

He pressed a kiss to her head, "The first time I knew I cared for you more than as a friend was when you started dating your old boyfriend."

Laura laughed, "It was a single date Robbie. I didn't start dating him."

"I didn't know that. In my mind if he was special enough for you to go back to him…I thought it was trouble."

"You could have said something."

He smiled, "I did, I asked you for a cup of coffee, you insisted on something stronger." Robbie took a sip of his wine, "I consider that our first date."

Giggles erupted from Laura as she sat up to look at him, "That was our first date?" He nodded smugly, "Then why did you take three more years to kiss me."

"I didn't want you to think I was easy."

She shook her head, "So you were playing hard to get?"

He touched his glass to hers, "It worked didn't it."

"It could have backfired."

He looked at her the laughter dying in his eyes, "I know. I am thankful every single day it didn't."

"When did you know it was love?"

"The BizBarker case. We had that row about how Miranda Thornton died. It took everything in me not to pull you to me and kiss you."

"I wish you had."

"I still wasn't ready. If I had, I would have messed things up. And I probably would have lost you altogether. I couldn't risk it Laura." They stared at one another. He reached up and gently touched her cheek, "When did you first know you loved me?"

"When I went out with Alan Petersen." He looked at her questioningly, "I spent the entire date comparing him to you. Then later you came to see me and asked when I was going out with him. I remember being so angry. All I could think is how daft could you be. Couldn't you see that I loved you?" She smiled at the memory, "I think I had loved you for a long time but it was the first time I admitted it to myself."

Robbie leaned to her and kissed her lightly, "It happened when it should have."

Laura nodded as she settled into Robbie's side again. His arm enveloped her and they returned to their wine and a companionable silence. As they watched the night sky Robbie thought of something Laura said earlier. He stroked her head lightly then asked his question, "You said I saved you, what did you mean?"

"I was broken when I came back to Oxford. Even when I started dating I always picked inappropriate men." She paused, thinking of the string of ridiculous men she'd dated. "I even asked Morse out once. I didn't think I deserved better. But when you came back from the BVI, I could see how much you still loved Val. That's when I knew I wanted someone who would love me like you loved her. That same week I ended a horrible relationship. Over those next few years, I dated but they were nicer men. And they all had to stand up to you."

He smiled as he pulled her closer, "And how did they compare?"

"I'm here with you, that's how they compared."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of it Laura."

She sat up and looked at him, "I'm not. All of it led me to you. I need you to know, I might have loved Malcolm first but you were who I was meant to love. If you hadn't been there, quietly supporting me, I don't know where I would be right now."

Robbie looked down at his empty glass, "I always thought it was you who saved me."

"We saved each other Robbie. You gave me the strength to end things not once but twice with Malcolm. If you hadn't shown up on my doorstep, I would have run away with him and it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. But there you were and you weren't asking me to run away, you were asking me to go for a walk. And that was what I needed, I didn't need to runaway to find who I was, I only needed to take your arm."

Looking up at her, he smiled, "I think you're giving me too much credit. I just thought you might want to get out of the house for a bit."

"I did, I just didn't need to do it on the other side of the continent. All I needed was a walk around the block with the right man. And there you were."

"And I always will be Laura. I'm not going anywhere ever again."


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

**Sorry for the horrid delay. A touch of writer's block and a crazy busy schedule. Confrontation is coming very soon. Funny thing, I know EXACTLY how this ends, it's just these damn in between chapters that are killing me.**

**Good News (maybe) I have an idea for a quick one off. But it will be a one chapter hit it and quit it story. I will most likely write it after I finish this one unless it keeps calling to me. In the meantime if you are not reading "Another Ramblin Story" or "The Devil You Know", you are missing some seriously good Robson fiction.**

They lingered in the swing, finishing the bottle of wine. There wasn't much conversation just two people letting comforting silence heal their wounds. As Robbie placed the empty bottle on the table he asked a question that had been lingering at the back of his mind, "What did Jean say to you when you talked with her earlier?"

Laura shrugged as she snuggled closer to him, "Nothing that will make you happy."

"Why, because she's on your side?"

She sat up and turned to him, "With Jean it's never about sides, she cares for us both."

Robbie nodded acknowledging the truth of the statement. He thought back to his conversation with her, she really had been neutral if somewhat brutal, "What did she say to you?"

With a single deep breath Laura told him, "She thinks I have to confront Malcolm. And I have to do it alone." She paused before whispering, "I agree with her."

Robbie closed his eyes, anger filling every inch of his body. The idea of Laura being alone with the man was outrageous. As he opened his eyes, he saw something on Laura's face he'd never seen reflected toward him: fear. All traces of anger vanished, he reached for her only to have her pull away. He pulled his hand back, taking a deep calming breath, "Laura, please don't be scared. I'm not angry with you. I am a little annoyed Jean would even suggest it."

Laura relaxed a bit but he could still see the remnants of fear on her face, "Do you distrust me that much?"

"Oh God no, Laura, it's not that at all. I don't trust him, I don't want you hurt. I saw you yesterday when you came home. Have you forgotten that not 24 hours ago you were screaming at me, in our bed, to get away from you? That was after spending what 10 minutes with him?"

The last of her fear slipped away, she understood his anger now. She reached for him, touching his face lightly, "Robbie, I'm no longer scared of Malcolm. There is nothing he can do to me anymore because I have you." Robbie turned his face into her palm craving her touch. "Malcolm won't just go away. He will stay here until he gets what he wants. Slowly he will come after everyone I care for. I can't let it happen."

The anguish on his face almost made her cry, "Am I supposed to let you just go to him?"

She nodded, "Yes, I'm the only who can do this. Just promise me you'll be here when I come back."

"Always." He dropped his head, afraid to look at her, afraid to ask the question he desperately needed an answer to.

Her soft hand lifting his chin startled him. As he finally met her eyes she brushed her thumb across his lips and smiled, "Last night was not about you. You did nothing wrong." He stared at her, astonished that she had read his mind, "Malcolm's nickname for me was kitten."

Robbie shook his head, not understanding the meaning. He replayed the events of the night before in his head. Laura saw the moment comprehension dawned, "Oh, OH!"

She fought a smile, "It wasn't you Robbie. As a matter of fact, I was quite enjoying what you were doing. It was just one of those unfortunate connections and I panicked. It wasn't rational and I'm sorry."

"I was scared I had hurt you somehow."

Laura pulled him to her, "I know." He wrapped his arms around her, breathing her in. Silence lingered between them for a moment. It was broken by Robbie's shoulder shaking. Laura pushed back worried he was crying, "Robbie, what is it?"

Covering his mouth he tried to hide the laughter that was threatening to erupt. He saw the concern on her face and gave in to the laughter, "I'm just seeing Jean's face when she asked me what happened last night. She wanted to know if things had gotten rambunctious."

A giggle escaped Laura, she could picture Jean's face but it was how she imagined Robbie responding which really made her laugh, "How exactly did you answer her?"

Robbie straightened in the swing, smugly proud of himself, "I told her there was nothing rambunctious going on. Not that I wasn't equal to the task if necessary."

Laura's laughter deepened, tears began to form in her eyes. "I would have paid money to have seen her face."

He nodded, "It was priceless. She told me I spend too much time with James. I informed her my response was all you."

"Glad to know I've had some positive influence over you."

Robbie smiled at her. He knew she was teasing but he needed her to know more, "More than you can ever know Laura. I had given up on ever really being happy again. Little by little, you changed me. You made me want to live again, not just exist. I'd say that's pretty positive Laura."

"I love you Robbie."

He kissed her, saying more with his kiss than his words could ever convey. When the kiss ended he pressed his forehead to hers, "When do you plan on seeing Malcolm?"

Dazed by his kiss, Laura shook her head, "You're comfortable with this."

"I'll never be comfortable with it Laura. But I figure you know him better than anyone. So if this is what you think is best then I support you."

She closed her eyes, tears forming as she was overwhelmed by his words, "I'm going to let him wait for a few days. He sent James running, tail between his legs, earlier today. He'll be happy to savor his victory. Just about the time he starts to get anxious I will go see him."

"How did he come into contact with James?"

"James sought him out."

"Cocky sod."

Laura laughed, "My thought exactly. Jean repaired the damage and I talked with James earlier. I think he will be OK." Robbie tried to hide a yawn. Laura smiled and took his hand as she stood, "Come on, it's been a long day, let's get you to bed."

Robbie pulled back slightly, "It's OK Laura, I'll sleep in the spare room."

"Robbie Lewis, my ex-husband might have come between us last night but I have no intention of letting him come between us ever again."

"Laura, I don't want to push things. I want you to be comfortable."

She rolled her eyes as she picked up the glasses and the empty bottle, "I wasn't suggesting a quick shag. I meant to bed, to sleep. But if you would rather sleep alone, in the spare room, then be my guest." She walked quickly to the door before turning to smile at him, "I thought it might be nice to sleep in each other's arms tonight. Tomorrow night, you can tell me all about your rambunctious plans."

Laura disappeared into the house leaving Robbie staring at the empty doorway. As he stood, he cast one quick glance to the heavens saying a silent thanks to whatever force was watching over them. Most people never find love like this once. Somehow, lightning had struck him twice.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

**A longer chapter, the confrontation is most likely next. I have another chapter that I have been toying with which might make the cut. The last chapter is written and will most likely be number 40. Just a few loose ends to tie up before we get there.**

**On the plus side I now I have two ideas. I think they will both be one chapter shots but at least one of them will return me to my smutty roots - assuming you guys are OK with that...**

Jean was leaving the office later than she would have liked. Although it didn't really matter if she worked late, it's not like anyone was waiting at home for her. The melancholy thought almost made her turn back to her office. With a firm shake of her head, she scattered the contemplation. She might be going home alone but it was better than lingering in the office.

As she walked to her car her mind wandered to the state of her marriage. Richard was gone more than he was home these days. Even when he was home there was a distance between them. Somehow they had slowly grown apart. She didn't know how to fix the problem, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to.

"I would think a woman in your position would know better than to walk into a parking lot distracted."

It was only years of training that kept her from jumping. She recognized the voice instantly. An almost malicious smile crossed her face as she turned to the voice, "It's my police station. There are at least 15 people inside watching this on CCTV. It's the safest place in the world for me to be distracted."

Malcolm took one step toward her, a predatory look in his eye, "Does that mean if I get too close to you a team of heavily armed men will come out and restrain me?"

"They wouldn't have to, I am more than capable of restraining you all on my own."

A low laugh escaped him, thrilling her. "I think I would quite like being restrained by you Chief Super Innocent."

"Are you trying to flirt with me Mr. Tucker?"

He closed the distance between them standing only inches from her, "That depends Chief Super Innocent. Do you want me to flirt with you?" He watched the blush rise across her chest and neck, "Wouldn't my flirting with you violate all sorts of girlfriend rules, not to mention the sanctity of your marriage?"

"You assume I would flirt back."

He looked down at her, blue eyes locking on hazel eyes. "Not assuming Chief Super Innocent, you are flirting back." They stared at one another for a moment neither wanting to break eye contact. Malcolm smiled at the challenging look in her eyes, "I think you owe me dinner."

Jean rolled her eyes, "And how did you come to that conclusion?"

"I bought your £600 bottle of whiskey."

She shrugged, "It was the least you could do."

"The least I could do for what?"

Turning from him she opened the door to her car, "For the pleasure of my company."

He smiled to himself, it had been his pleasure. "Using that logic you should buy me dinner for the pleasure of my company."

She turned back to him, "What makes you think I need companionship?"

He motioned towards the building, "I saw the distracted look on your face when you came out. You were debating going back inside. Which means, that you don't have anyone waiting at home." He saw the hurt cross her face and instantly regretted his words, "Tell you what, you get to choose the place. You can pick somewhere commensurate with the value of the company."

She got into her car, closed the door and started the engine. Malcolm took a step back thinking he'd pushed too far. He was just about to turn away when her window rolled down, "Follow me, I know just the place."

* * *

As they sat on the bench overlooking the river he had to laugh, "A chip stand, that's all my company is worth?"

She smiled to herself as she popped a chip into her mouth, "Don't look at it based on how much it costs." He raised an eyebrow at her as he tucked into his own portion. "This is something I would never normally eat, too many calories, no nutritional value, it's messy. Already I'm calculating how long I will have to work out to counter the caloric intake. I'm wondering if the cleaners will be able to get a stain out of my dress."

Malcolm shook his head as he popped another chip into his mouth, "If it causes you so much anxiety then why eat it?"

She shrugged as she looked out at the water. "If I'm going to do one thing I shouldn't do, why not do two?"

They sat silently, eating their chips and watching the water move slowly past. Malcolm watched her from the corner of his eye. She didn't seem nervous about being with him at all. It was unnerving to him, she looked so much like her sister but now that he'd spent even this small amount of time with her he'd never mistake them again, "What's the other thing you aren't supposed to be doing?" She raised an eyebrow at him and continued eating her chips. "Have you been asked not to see me?"

"You give yourself too much credit."

He cocked his head to one side, "Perhaps, but I think not. If I weren't causing problems, I don't think your boy wonder would have tracked me down to day."

He watched her nod, "Yes, I heard about that. Considering that I spent most of my afternoon cleaning up after your encounter, perhaps I should have made you buy dinner."

Balling up the wrapper from his now finished chips he stood to throw it away, "You can't blame that on me. You shouldn't send a boy to do a woman's job."

"I wouldn't call James a boy."

He turned back to her, curious. "Is the young DIs attraction two-sided?"

She laughed, "No, it is not two-sided."

"But you admit he has a crush?"

She placed the chip wrapping on the bench beside her before daintily wiping her hands and mouth, "James does not have a crush on me." At his skeptical look she continued, "James has a thing for any woman in a position of power. There was a time that he was just a bit in love with Laura too." She smiled to herself as he looked away, "What? Does it bother you that he had feelings for Laura? You didn't seem to have any problems taking advantage earlier today?"

Shoving his hands in his pockets he hunched in on himself, "It's what I do. I find weaknesses and I exploit them."

"If James has a crush on me then why didn't you use it?"

"He wasn't there to talk about you. He was there to talk about Laura."

She shook her head, "But it's still a weakness, seems to me you would have taken advantage of any weakness."

He turned back to her and pointed at the chips, "Are you going to eat those?"

She shook her head and handed them to him, "Be my guest." She watched him pace, eating the chips in silence. Slowly, he calmed, his pacing slowed, his shoulders relaxed. "Why did you come to find me today?"

Looking out at the water he shrugged, "I don't know. I didn't want another room service meal and I hate eating alone in a restaurant. You seem like the only person who doesn't really hate me."

"What if I'd had plans? I am married you know."

He turned to her, "You were free to have drinks with me last night. Guess I hoped I'd get lucky two nights in a row."

She nodded, "To hear you complain about my choice of where to eat, do you feel like you got lucky?"

Malcolm finished the last chip, threw the wrapper away then sat beside her on the bench, "This might be the nicest night I've had in a long time."

Jean swallowed, surprised by his admission. She opened her mouth to respond and realized the same was true for her. Shaking her head she smiled, "If it helps, I feel the same way."

"What about Mr. Innocent?"

Jean leaned forward, placing her hands on the bench, "I don't really know."

He waited, wondering if she would add more to her statement. When she didn't fill the silence he placed his hand over hers, "Not knowing isn't all it's cracked up to be is it."

She twined their fingers together and looked back at him smiling sadly, "Spoken like a man with experience."

"She hasn't told you?"

Jean shook her head, "No."

"And you still support her?"

"Does any of it really matter? It's all water, long under. She's happy now. No matter what happened between the two of you, she found a way to be happy. Can't you give her that?"

He stood, pulling his hand free of hers. He felt her pull slightly on his hand. The instant her hand dropped he felt the emptiness, "Don't I get to be happy?"

Jean looked down at her hand. It was cooling quickly from where his skin had warmed it, "No one is stopping you from being happy." She stopped herself from leaning back at the look he gave her, "Except maybe yourself."

"I still love her." She nodded accepting the truth of his words. He came back to the bench, sitting heavily, a little closer to her this time. He leaned forward resting his arms on his legs, his hands raking through his hair, "I know I shouldn't but I still do."

Tentatively, she reached a hand to touch his shoulder. When he didn't pull away she slid her arm across his shoulders and pulled him against her, "I think we always stay a bit in love with our first loves." She squeezed his shoulder, "It doesn't mean it lasts forever or that it was meant to."

"Says the woman sitting on park bench with a man who isn't her husband."

Jean couldn't help but laugh, "Perhaps I'm not the best person to give this advice."

"Is he your first love?"

"And only." Jean paused, "Have there been others besides Laura?"

He leaned back into the bench and Jean followed, leaving her arm where it was, "Other women? Yes. Other loves? No. I'm in the 'and only' club too." Suddenly self-conscious Jean withdrew her arm. Malcolm took her hand and held it gently. When she didn't resist he laced their fingers together. "A fine pair we make."

She snorted at the unexpected comment, "Except we really aren't a pair are we?" At his raised eyebrow she continued, "I'm married. You're in love with my best friend and to some extent you practically ruined my twin sister's life. Everything about you is forbidden fruit."

His laughter was loud and genuine. It shook his body, "You do make me laugh Chief Super Jean Innocent."

"Jean."

He looked at her, his eyes darkening with something she wasn't quite sure of, "Jean."

Their eyes locked and she swallowed, "I should be getting home."

Malcolm wondered for a moment if he pulled her to him if she would allow it. Something in her eyes told him she would, "Let me walk you to your car." She nodded and they stood. He offered her his arm, which she took, and smiled mischievously, "I wouldn't want you to have to restrain anyone." He saw her smile out of the corner of his eye, "Unless you're offer from earlier is still on the table."

She nudged him slightly and tightened her grip on his arm. They walked in silence to their cars. Once there she turned to him, "Thanks for a lovely evening Malcolm."

Malcolm softly touched her cheek, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, "Thank you Jean, it's the most relaxing evening I've had in a long time." His fingers lingered on her cheek. He saw the look of indecision in her eyes and dropped his hand, "Call him. Tell him what you need."

She closed her eyes as she felt his hand fall away, "What if I don't know what I want?"

"I saw the look in your eyes just now, you know what you want. Don't be afraid to ask for it."

She opened her eyes and met his, "I could say the same to you. Stop playing games and ask for what you want."

He shrugged as he took a step back, "I think I already know the answer."

He turned and walked away from her, resignation in his step, "What happens if I ask and I don't get what I want?"

He looked over his shoulder and flashed her his best smile, "You know where I'm staying. I've got half a bottle left."

She turned back to her car not daring to watch him walk away. Digging through her purse she found her phone and pressed the 2 button to connect her with Richard's mobile. It rang once, "Jeannie, where are you? I've been worried sick."

"Why does it matter where I am? You're halfway around the world."

"I think if you check your phone you'll see that I'm not. I came home, we need to talk."

Her heart broke. Those four words struck fear in her heart, "I'll be home in fifteen minutes."

"Take your time all I want is you safe. I love you Jeannie."

She gasped. It had been so long since he'd said those words to her, "Why now Richard? I don't understand."

"Come home Jeannie, I'll tell you everything. But don't for a moment doubt I love you deeply."

Lights flashed in her window. She could see Malcolm in his car waiting on her. She waved that she was OK and started her car. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and whispered a prayer for the mistake she didn't make, "Jeannie, are you there?"

Smiling she nodded, "Yes Richard, I'm on my way home and I love you too."

**A/N I debated naming Jean's husband Richard. In my other stories she is always happily married and he is divine. This time I opted to stick with canon (somewhat) but I can't keep her away from Richard. So Richard it is and work from the assumption they are busily making up as you read this.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

The next few days passed in a bit of a blur. Laura spent most of the time catching up on all of the work she'd missed, unplanned time away was not conducive to a well-organized office. Midway through the third day she was finally feeling she might be caught up.

As she placed the last file to review in her outbox, she breathed a noticeable sigh of relief. With order returned to the chaos she returned to, her mind wandered. Things with Robbie had settled down and she felt they were past the worst of their divide.

There was still a slight sense of unease. She was certain it wouldn't completely go away until she confronted Malcolm. She closed her eyes dreading the idea of having to confront him. Deep down she knew it was a necessity but a part of her couldn't help but wish it would just go away.

It had been three days since she had seen him and two days since James had confronted him. If she left it much longer Malcolm would inevitably start trouble of his own. It was better that she initiate the confrontation. The problem was where should she do it? She didn't want to give him any power. Wherever it happened, it had to be on her terms.

A gentle knock at her door broke her concentration. Looking up she smiled at James, "Inspector can I help you?"

He nodded then stepped into her office, "I just wanted to thank you in person for reviewing those results for me. I know I should trust everyone in your office but I always feel somewhat better when I know reports have your seal of approval."

She rolled her eyes at him, "James, it's my job to look at things. You don't have to thank me for doing my job."

His head dropped. He'd known it was a flimsy excuse but he needed to check on her, this had been the only thing he could come up with. "I know, mostly I wanted to see how things were but I didn't want to be obvious."

"It's me James, I don't mind obvious." The expectant look on his face tugged at her heart, it wasn't just Robbie that needed this put behind them. None of her friendships would be normal until she put Malcolm firmly in the past. She took a deep breath then confessed, "I'm at a loss. I know I need to confront Malcolm but I'm not really sure where or when."

Shrugging James shoved his hands into his pockets, "I might be able to help with that."

"What have you done James?"

"After he came to visit you on Monday the Chief Super asked me to find out where he was staying." Laura raised an eyebrow asking a question without saying a word. "And on Tuesday, I might have used some contacts at Lady Margaret Hall to find out his schedule."

"So you abused police power to determine the whereabouts of an innocent man?"

Fighting a smile he raised his hands, "On the first one I was merely following orders. Technically that was the Chief Super abusing police power." He sat in one of her chairs and smiled, "The second one, however, was all me. Guilty as charged and I throw myself on the mercy of the court."

With a stern look she nodded as if she was contemplating his sentence, "My sentence depends. Do you by chance remember any of this wrongfully obtained information?"

"I think for the right price I might be persuaded to part with the information."

Raising an eyebrow she fixed him with a serious gaze, "What's your price?"

"A pint."

"Make it two and you've got a deal."

James reached across her desk to shake her hand as they shook he nodded, "You drive a hard bargain."

Laughter escaped before she could stop it. She could see James relax as he joined her. As they recovered James took a notepad from her desk and wrote down three things. He pushed the notepad back to her. She quickly read what he'd written then looked at him, "I understand the first two but the third?"

He stood and headed for the door. He smiled softly at her, "That's where I'll be from six to eight. If I haven't heard from you by eight you'll really get to see me abuse my power as a police officer."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

The knock at the door was soft, not in a timid way, just not in an overly aggressive way. He'd been staring out the window lost in thought. If he was honest with himself, it wasn't his thoughts that were lost, he was lost. Why was he here? What did he really expect to gain from this trip?

The second knock was the same, soft but not timid. Malcolm looked at the door not sure who it might be. He quickly ran through the possibilities, dismissing them all. Standing he walked to the door prepared to light into whoever was on the other side. Flinging it open, all of the air left his lungs, "Laura."

Pushing past him Laura walked into his suite, "Hello Malcolm." He watched her walk past. Her composure rattled him. What was she doing here? She settled in a chair on the far side of the room as he stood gaping at her. She smiled brilliantly at him, "I decided it was time we chat."

He shook his head in a vain attempt to regain his senses, "Well do come in, make yourself at home. Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm good but feel free to have a drink if you think it might steady you."

He turned to her lightning flashing in his eyes, "Do you really think an unexpected visit from you would cause me to need steadying?"

Laura stifled a laugh. She remembered the effect his look would have caused years ago. Today it did nothing, "You did seem a bit unnerved when you saw me at the door." The look he gave her she knew had sent powerful men scurrying into corners. This time she did laugh, "If you think that look is going to intimidate me Malcolm you are sadly mistaken. Now why don't you fix yourself the drink you so desperately need and we can get down to business."

Deciding at the very least the act of pouring a drink would serve as a stalling tactic he went to the bar. He poured himself a healthy measure of whisky. Looking at the bottle he smiled, it was her bottle. Lifting the bottle so Laura could see, "Sure I can't offer you something, it's quite good."

"No, I'm fine. Why don't you take a seat and let's get this over with?"

He bristled at her attempts to control him. Stalking across the room he leaned against the wall closest to her chair, "Why are you here Laura?"

A slightly malevolent smile darkened her face, it thrilled him. "Can't a gal just want to catch up with an old friend?"

Taking a long draw from his drink he paused before answering her, "You said we were never friends Laura."

She relaxed into the chair looking up at him, "And you disagreed, so as you are always right, we must be friends. Now, I repeat, can't a gal just want to catch up with an old friend?"

"With friends like you I'm not really sure I need enemies."

Tilting her head quizzically, "At least I never landed you in prison, unlike some of your other friends."

He laughed, "I see you still don't pull your punches."

She shrugged unaffected by his comment, "I learned from the best."

They stared at one another, neither wanting to give quarter to the other, "Why are you really here Laura?"

"To ask you the same question. Why are you here Malcolm?"

He turned to the window, trying to gain a moment's perspective. "It's my suite Laura, I'm supposed to be here."

"Don't be obtuse Malcolm, you know what I meant."

He barked with forced laughter, "Oh you mean in the greater Oxfordshire area? I told you why, I'm lecturing at Lady Margaret Hall."

She lowered her voice, "That might be your excuse but it's not why." She paused waiting until he turned to her, "Why are you really here Malcolm?"

The moment their eyes locked he knew he'd lost the game. There was something different about her. All of the storm he'd seen in her eyes when he'd surprised her at her office was gone. It was replaced with a calmness that unnerved him.

"I don't know why I'm here anymore Laura."

His unexpected candor surprised her. She'd never known Malcolm to be unsure of anything, "Talk to me Malcolm. Why did you come here to start?"

He looked away from her, ashamed of the only answer he could give her. "To destroy your happy life."

She nodded, unsurprised by his confession. "Go on."

"I was angry that you'd found someone to be happy with. And that it was him, the man you left me for made it ten times worse."

Laura blinked surprised at last, "I didn't leave you for Robbie. I was gone long before Robbie came into the picture."

He turned to her desperate, "No, you were still there. It might not have been the way it was but I always had hope we would get there." She blinked, unsure how she had missed this. He dropped to the ground in front of her and took her hand, "Even when you filed for divorce I still had hope. You went through several relationships, nothing ever stuck. You still saw me, talked to me and I hoped loved me."

Tears fell down her cheek as she realized what she'd inadvertently done to him, really done to them. If she'd just let him go, would they be here right now? "I thought we were friends. I thought we had turned a corner. If I'd known…"

"If you'd known what Laura? If you'd known I was still in love with you that I always have been. If you'd known I was just waiting for you to come back to me. If you'd known that I would have given it all up for you. What Laura, what did you need to know?" He looked at her pleadingly. She could see all of the pain in his eyes.

Looking down at their hands she shook her head, "I'm sorry Malcolm. It's all I can say. I've hurt you in ways that are unimaginable to me. I never meant to."

He pulled away from her leaning his head into the glass of the window, "Was it all a lie? Were we a lie?"

She looked up, stricken by his question. She screamed, "No!" The tightening of his shoulders softened her, "We had something incredibly special."

The pain in his voice killed her, "Then why wasn't I enough? Why didn't we work?"

Laura stood and walked slowly to him. She placed her hand on his back softly, not wanting to startle him. "It wasn't that simple, nothing with you ever was." She moved closer wrapping her arms around his waist. She buried her head in his back inhaling him, "You were exciting and brilliant; I couldn't have loved you more. I was so proud to be with you. Most times when we were together I felt like I was taking the best bite of the plum."

His eyes closed and his arms came to rest over hers, "What changed Laura?"

"It was all of the rest of it Malcolm. It was all of the chaos that surrounded you. I just didn't need the chaos as much as you did."

"I thought you liked the roller coaster? Remember our trip to New York, we went to Coney Island. You rode that one roller coaster, what was it called?"

He felt her smile against his back, "The Cyclone."

He laughed, "Right, The Cyclone. You rode that ride at least 10 times."

"That ride was tame compared to you. Amusement parks can be fun every once in a while but not every day."

He turned in her arms and wrapped his around her, "I always felt calm around you. I thought you knew it."

She looked up at him, "It was always just a rest until the next storm. You lived for the storms. That was why we worked when you were in London and I was here. I got to sample the storm and you got to experience the calm."

"And then you had your own storm."

She nodded, "It hit much too close to home. And there you were offering me calm and comfort and all of these familiar things. I thought it was what I wanted."

"I wanted to give up the storm. I wanted to find someplace that was just ours. I thought you wanted that too."

"Malcolm, at that moment, I did. I wanted it more than anything."

His dark blue eyes filled with tears. Tears he hadn't shed at the time. Finally they fell down his cheeks as he asked what he needed to know, "What happened? Why wasn't I enough?"

"He knocked on my door and asked me to take a walk."

Malcolm dropped his arms, pushing against her hips. He needed her to be away from him, "So it was him, you chose him over me? It wasn't about storms and chaos at all. It was all about him."

She started to argue then realized she couldn't, "You're right." He turned to her anger flashing again. She held up her hand to stop the coming tirade, "I made a choice. Because as he stood on my doorstep all he wanted was to take a walk around the block. He wasn't asking me to give up my life and run away, just take a casual stroll. I knew then it was what I had been looking for since Lily died." She took a tentative step toward him waiting to see how he would respond. When he didn't move she closed the distance between them and took his hand, "I don't believe, and I don't think you do either, that we would have ended up together had we gone away."

He tightened his grip on her hand, "I wanted us to."

"I know and a part of me wanted it too."

He smiled down at her, "But you wanted more calm than I could give you."

She nodded, "Yes."

His free hand cupped her cheek, "I love you Laura and I suspect I always will."

She smiled brilliantly at him, "I love you too. I always have and I always will. I'm just in love with someone else."

"We were something weren't we? Alive, beautiful…"

She nodded, "Spectacular."

He lowered his head and kissed her. Her hands wound around his neck. They each poured all of the hurt and love of their combined twenty years into the kiss. The kiss ended as suddenly as it began. Laura stepped away and Malcolm let her go.

Without looking back she walked across the room and opened the door. Before she walked through it, she whispered just loud enough for him to hear, "Goodbye Malcolm." She didn't wait for a response.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

**Here it is, the end. I can only hope that I did Muffinzelda proud. Thank you all for hanging around until the bitter end. It's quite the ride our lovely friends have been on. Hopefully, the landed someplace safe and calm.**

Malcolm watched her go. He knew with the kiss they were through. Anything he might do now would only hurt him. She was beyond him now. He also knew he loved her enough to let her go. He looked around the suite knowing he needed to be anywhere but here.

Hurriedly, he gathered his few belongings and threw them into his bag. He could leave now, go back to London. He only had four more lectures and then his obligation was done. It would be easy enough to commute back and forth.

As he was making his final walk through of the room he found their picture. Lifting it he had to laugh. He'd remembered kissing her shortly after it had been taken but he'd forgotten the sudden storm that had blown in half an hour later. It had soaked them all and made them laugh at the capriciousness of life. Everything about their life together had been summed up in that one day. He placed the frame carefully in his bag, zipped it shut and left the room.

* * *

Laura opened the door to the White Horse and looked around. It only took her a second to find James and, to her surprise, Jean sitting at a table. She ducked through the doorway and laughed, "I might have guessed you would both be here."

James raised his hands begging forgiveness, "Don't blame me. She followed me here."

Jean shrugged, "I knew he was up to something and it seemed best to make sure he wasn't going to do something stupid."

They both watched her anxiously. She shook her head, "I guess I'd better get a drink and tell you both what happened."

James lifted his glass, "If you're going to the bar, I could use a refill."

Jean nodded in agreement, "I could too. I'll just continue quizzing James on his abuse of police power until you get back."

Laura waved at them as she laughed. Turning to head to the bar she was swept into the strong arms of Robbie Lewis. Without a moment's hesitation he kissed her. She pushed up to him instantly deepening the kiss. Her earlier kiss with Malcolm had been nice but it paled in comparison to this one.

She pulled back slightly breathless and heard him whisper, "I've been thinking about doing that all day."

She pulled him down to her and just before she kissed him whispered, "Same here."

This time she broke the kiss motioning to their watchers. Robbie smiled down at her, "I couldn't care less if they watch us. Let them." He lowered his head and kissed her again."

James smiled at Jean, "I think I'll get those drinks."

Shaking her head she waved him off, "No, on second thought, I need to get home. There's someone waiting for me." Jean stood and maneuvered past Laura and Robbie, still immersed in their kiss. She smiled thinking of the first time she'd seen them kiss, "You two should really get a room."

Laura and Robbie broke apart, each breathless. Robbie smiled down at her, "I think that is an excellent suggestion…ma'am."

Jean rolled her eyes then smiled at Laura, "I'm off, I'll see you tomorrow, lunch?"

Laura nodded although her eyes were fixed on Robbie, "I look forward to it."

Jean watched them not sure if the answer was for her or for Robbie. She touched them each on the shoulder then waved at James before leaving.

Robbie smiled down at Laura, "Can I talk you into a walk around the block?"

"Always." Laura turned to tell James goodbye and the look on his face made her stop. She turned back to Robbie, "Wait for me outside." One look at James and he nodded. He kissed her on the cheek and waved quickly at James before leaving.

"James, are you OK?"

He nodded, "Perhaps a bit melancholy." He saw her quizzical expression and smiled, "I'm happy for you and Robbie, I always have been. You two are meant to be together."

She sat across from him, "But you aren't happy?"

"I don't know if I am specifically unhappy just a touch of discontent."

"Anything I can help with?"

He shook his head, "No, I think this is one puzzle I need to solve on my own."

"Can I give you some unsolicited advice?"

He looked down, "It can't hurt."

She took his hand, "No one is perfect James, even when you put them up on a pedestal. Stop looking for people to idolize, find someone you want to take a walk with, flaws and all."

"You make it sound so easy."

Smiling she shook her head, "It's anything but that. But one day the right person will just appear, probably when you least expect. Say yes when they do." She squeezed his hand and stood.

"What's the question?"

She smiled at him, "You'll know it when you hear it?"

James watched her leave. He wasn't quite sure about her advice. It was too vague for his tastes. He wanted something concrete. Lost in his own thoughts the voice startled him, "Is this seat taken? Do you mind if I sit down?"

He looked up to say no, not wanting company. He was met with the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. Laura's words echoed in his ears. Smiling he stood and pulled out the chair, "Please, I'd love some company. I'm James by the way."

She smiled up at him as she sat, "Thanks James, I'm Mellie. Since you are sharing your table can I buy you a drink?"

Suddenly Laura's advice seemed very concrete, "Yes, that would be lovely."

* * *

Laura smiled when she saw Robbie waiting outside. She took his hand when he offered it, "You said something about a walk, sir."

He started walking and they fell into step easily, "I did at that Dr. Hobson. Where would you like to go?"

She stopped pulling him to her, "Home, it's the only place I want to go."

**A/N**

**I debated an epilogue of sorts (and actually have a small thing written) but while doing a final read through I thought it seemed only fair to end it with them taking a walk. Let me know if you need or want the epilogue.**


	41. Chapter 41

**Epilogue – Six Months Later**

Their lives returned to normal. Robbie and Laura were closer than ever. The clean slate she thought she'd been given years ago wasn't as clean but it was infinitely better. As promised, she'd taken him to Lily's grave and he'd held her as she finally put the last of her history to rest.

Their home was filled with pictures from both of their pasts as well as plenty of their current life together. Somehow in letting Malcolm go and sharing her history she had ensured their future. A future that included a new grandchild soon to be born.

Jean finally told Richard what she needed and they had found their way back to one another. Each time she was swept away by her passion for him she said a silent prayer to Malcolm Tucker. She never told anyone how tempted she had been by him. There were some secrets best kept. But it was the temptation which had made her realize how much she truly loved her husband.

Even James had found his happily ever after. And it all started with saying yes to a simple question.

All of this was why Laura wasn't nervous when she received a beautifully wrapped package at work one day. She held it in her hands and smiled, knowing who it was from if not what was contained within. She tucked it into her bag and decided to find Jean to see if she might want to get a drink.

Standing in the doorway she was surprised to see a similarly wrapped box on the edge of Jean's desk. A single knock drew Jean's attention and she was waved in while Jean finished a phone call. Pointing at the box, she raised an eyebrow. Jean smiled and motioned for Laura to have a seat.

After her call ended she took off her glasses and smiled at Laura, "Are you curious about the gift because it's a gift or because of who it's from?"

Laura shrugged, "A bit of both I guess."

"I don't know why I never told you but the night Malcolm showed up in your office, I went to his hotel. I found him in the bar, drinking alone. I joined him, ordering a ridiculously expensive bottle of whisky which I put on his tab." Jean pulled a bottle from the box.

Laura laughed, "He would have liked that. He loved fine whisky."

Jean smiled wistfully, "Something we have in common."

Laura raised an eyebrow, "Is there something I need to know?"

Jean shook her head, "No, not really." A dismissive shrug and then she smiled, "An attraction." Jean looked at Laura, "Nothing happened. If anything, I owe him a debt of gratitude. He encouraged me to talk to Richard."

Laura sat back in her chair, surprised, "How, when?"

"The night after he came to see you. He showed up here at the station. He said I owed him dinner. So I took him to dinner, a chip stand."

Laura laughed causing Jean to look at her curiously, "The first time Malcolm and I ever had sex our date had been to a chip stand."

Jean laughed, "And here I thought I was just being insulting when I picked it."

"What?"

Jean shrugged, "He told me I owed him dinner since he bought the whisky. Said I could pick a place commensurate with the value of the company."

"And you picked a chip stand?" Jean nodded, "That is priceless."

"It's not like I knew."

"Of course not, but it's still funny." They stared at one another for a moment, "What happened?"

Jean opened the bottle then poured two glasses. She rounded the corner of her desk and handed one to Laura. They touched the glasses together then each took a sip. Jean savored the taste while Laura grimaced at the burn, "Nothing, there was a moment where if he'd pushed, I don't know what I would have done."

"He didn't push, did he?"

Shaking her head Jean took another sip, draining her glass. "No, he told me to go home and ask for what I want from Richard."

Laura leaned forward pouring the remainder of her whisky into Jean's glass, "I never really cared for it." She stood to leave, pausing to squeeze Jean's shoulder, "He did the right thing sending you back to Richard."

"Yes, it was an honorable thing to do." Jean looked up at Laura, "What did he send you?"

Laura touched her bag, "I don't know, I haven't opened it yet."

"Do you want company?"

Laura shook her head, "No, I think this is something I should do alone." She made it to the door and stopped, "Actually, I would like company."

"Come on in friend, can I get you something else to drink?"

Laura laughed, pushing the door closed behind her. She took her seat again and pulled the package from her bag.

Jean watched her carefully, "Does he get a special on wrapping?"

"It's one of those strange things about Malcolm. He doesn't give many gifts but he insists they be beautifully wrapped. I always hated opening them."

Nodding toward the package in Laura's lap, "Get over it. Go on."

Laura slid the bow off box then carefully opened the paper. She placed the wrapping on the floor then paused before opening the box. With a single deep breath she lifted the lid of the box. Tissue paper covered whatever was in the box. She unfolded the paper to find a book. She instantly recognized the picture on the cover, it was where they had married. A single tear fell down her cheek as she read the title, "Riding Out the Storm."

Jean saw the tear and leaned forward to touch Laura's arm, "Are you OK?"

Nodding she wiped away the tear, "I'm fine."

"What's in the box?" She removed the book from the box, holding it for Jean to see. "That's why he never did the show."

Laura shook her head, "What do you mean? What show?"

"He was signed to do some Sunday morning political show. Then it just went away." She nodded her head to the book, "I guess that's what he did instead."

Laura opened the book and was surprised by Malcolm's picture on the inner cover of the book cover. He seemed much more relaxed than she'd seen him in a long time. Her finger traced his picture.

Jean stood to look over Laura's shoulder, "It's a nice picture. He looks different, younger."

"Easy, you're married."

"Why do you think he sent you a copy of his book?"

She smiled looking at the title page, "It's a message of sorts." Sensing Jean's question she looked away, "It means he's doing well."

Jean reached over Laura's shoulder and flipped the pages. "Why is he dedicating his book to Lady Margaret Hall?"

Looking down to the page, "What?"

Jean pointed to the page, "It's right there."

_To LMH for teaching me the value of finding the calm. I think I finally got it right._

_She stood in the storm,_

_and when the wind_

_did not blow her way,_

_she adjusted her sails_

A bright smile crossed her face as she read the dedication. Wherever he was, he had finally found peace, "It's not Lady Margaret Hall. It's for me, Laura Margaret Hobson."


End file.
